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       #Post#: 5665--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: guest98
       Date: December 2, 2014, 9:58 am
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       I've had one lingering question about relationships and
       attraction. Is attraction simply a projected, unconscious desire
       to possess the traits we are seemingly attracted to? Like, if
       I'm attracted to a girl who has interests of her own and takes
       care of herself, does that mean that I secretly wish I were the
       same?
       I don't want to be a pessimistic nihilist but is there anything
       real or valuable in relationships at all?
       What about companionship? If there is anything thing real in a
       relationship, this is the only thing I could think of that's of
       any value.
       I've seen through a lot of the BS that we call "love" or
       "relationships" but I wonder why I still hook up with girls. I'm
       still attracted, I still enjoy the experience, but I know it's
       mostly BS.
       Perhaps the show goes on despite seeing through it all?
       #Post#: 5667--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: guest98
       Date: December 2, 2014, 10:01 am
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       PS. I do believe that I am a nihilist. I have pessimistic views.
       But I wish I could clean those up. You should hear me at the
       meditation/discussion group I attend, everyone must think I'm a
       negative nancy who sees no value or meaning in life. I really
       hope this is just a phase, I def don't want to stay stuck here
       forever.
       #Post#: 5716--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: December 3, 2014, 10:16 am
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       Dear Ivory;
       Nihilism has been missundertood. It's it's very freeing and
       positive in my experience. It's opens up endless possibilities.
       Love ya, Jed
       #Post#: 5725--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: guest98
       Date: December 3, 2014, 11:31 am
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       Okay, then I'm not a nihilist! Not to worried about labels
       though. I think this is just a phase anyways. It'll pass.
       I do have a question. I worry a lot about not getting enough
       social interaction. Right now is a time in my life where I have
       a great deal of solitude. I work from home, don't have many
       friends.
       I worry about growth a lot.
       I have to make an effort to be around people. I'm afraid of
       getting depressed, feeling isolated, and losing my ability to
       connect with people if I'm alone all the time. I'm afraid
       because this has happened in the past, and working through that
       was NOT FUN at all. I don't want that to happen again.
       On one hand, I'm tired of trying and worrying. On the other, I'm
       not sure if I actually want to be around people. But sometimes I
       really do. I don't think I actually get lonely.
       This is causing me a great deal of stress and kicking up a lot
       of dust in the mind.
       What do I need to see here? How can I free myself of this stress
       and worry?
       #Post#: 5733--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: December 3, 2014, 1:44 pm
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       Dear I:
       It sounds a little complicated. What's wrong with being alone. I
       love it. Either way, I love it. Trust me, there will come times
       when you will give anything to be alone, and there are times
       when you will crave company. It just comes with the human
       machine. Just let it be and don't be so friggin serious.
       Love ya,
       Jed.
       #Post#: 5743--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: guest98
       Date: December 3, 2014, 6:03 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Jed McKenna link ---
       > Trust me, there will come times when you will give anything to
       be alone, and there are times when you will crave company. It
       just comes with the human machine.
       --- End Quote ---
       That resonates with my experience. I've always been a worry
       wart.
       --- Quote from: Jed McKenna link ---
       > Just let it be and don't be so friggin serious.
       --- End Quote ---
       I wish it were that easy. I don't even identify with these
       thoughts, but they are there. And they are annoying. It can be
       confusing to see all this floating around up there.
       Not that I actually believe in labels, but I was diagnosed with
       OCD when I was a kid. I'm also what's referred to as a highly
       sensitive person. I am also shy and introverted. So I have my
       set of challenges to work with.
       Spirituality made this all very weird. Now it's not like I'm
       these things, but now I observe this guy floating around and he
       just makes no sense to me.
       #Post#: 5772--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: December 4, 2014, 1:01 am
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       Truth doesn't make sense, it is sense itself. If you are trying
       to figure this out, forget it. Not possible.
       Love ya, Jed
       #Post#: 6748--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: guest98
       Date: December 18, 2014, 11:30 am
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       Jed,
       I don't know what to do. I am so overwhelmed with emotion. I
       oscillate between depression, fear, pain, sadness, confusion,
       dissatisfaction, and helplessness on a daily basis. I feel stuck
       and I don't want to wreck my life any more than I already have.
       I don't know if this is psychological stuff or spiritual. I
       don't see this passing anytime soon. I don't know if I should
       find a teacher, go see a psychotherapist, or if I just lie in
       bed for a year or two and hope this passes.
       If I'm supposed to be learning something from all of this, well,
       I'm not. I'm just getting my butt kicked.
       This is a nightmare.
       Does any of this look familiar? What do I do?
       #Post#: 6750--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: December 18, 2014, 11:34 am
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       I familiar with what you are saying. So, tell me the positive
       benefit you are getting from all this strangeness. And don't
       waist my time by saying you aren't getting any benefit because I
       can see some already, and I'm a long way away.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 6752--------------------------------------------------
       Re: meaningless
   DIR By: guest98
       Date: December 18, 2014, 11:44 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       The first thing that comes to mind is that I've learned not to
       change things too much. Stand still and let life run its course.
       Everything seems to fall into place by engaging fully and
       allowing everything to run its course.
       Relationships blossom. Growth happens. You learn more.
       By running around trying to control everything we miss out on
       life.
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