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#Post#: 21207--------------------------------------------------
. learning to witness
DIR By: guest899
Date: June 1, 2016, 7:46 pm
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hi everyone.. while sitting on the porch at the end of the
day, the thoughts turn towards a question so. my fingers
dutifully. type the words. im feeling anxious about how to
consciously begin to watch, because i i feel that its automatic
and ill explain my experience with it so far.. my character
can be, somewhat. enthusiastic and bubbly. with many silly
words. exchanging back and forth. bettween myself and another or
others.. its allways been kind of automatic and. flows quite
freely. when im in the right mood. i know exactly. what is
meant by. finding out what one will say. because. in the right
mood, i have no idea. what i will say and do, i just do it as
i go along.. have experienced the distinct feelings of being.
outside of myself. as myself. does its thing.. its a pleasure
to watch what i will do! i have/ had a shop. with customers.
coming and going. and it was always. a little fun. to witness
the days events.. i made a sign. that hangs which says i dont
know what im doing but i do know im doing it.. in fact i
spent ten years at this shop. not knowing what i was doing.very
comfortable. with. this. state.. so this is why i ask, how does
one know they are awake? i feel as if. there are some days
when i let it flow. and other days. when. i get stuck. and on
those days i know i am stuck. because. there is a distinct
feeling. while BEING. and i know when its not there... is it
possible to be partially awake, or on the edge of awakening?
i dont ask that because i need to be that from some egoic
standpoint, im just trying to understand where i am in this
whole. process, as i begin. i dont see how i can set out to
watch myself, it allways just happenned. without effort..
perhaps i dont understand.. the anxiety. is here because i dont
understand how i knew how to be the watcher, i didnt try to
watch in fact, then, i didnt even know there was such a thing
as watching or watcher . the only thing i may have done was to
face the unknown and stuff just started happenning which became
familiar after a while of experiencing it.. i could allways
recognize when i was not!, in the flow.. it is why i understand
the words iam reading now. in damndest and ramana, like ive
been living this stuff without having a referance to name what
it was. . for me, rather than. learning to watch the
watcher perhaps i must continue with facing the unknown..
words burn my ass.. im so sorry. to those who have to wade
through this!, its so difficult to pinpoint what. exactly. is
troubling and to ask the right question.. a little more, if i
may though..
so after all that, back to the damndest thing, and where am
i? ". its a trust you develop a little at a time as you learn
to relinquish the illusion of control".. so it seems that.
partial awakening. is a reality. and that as one learns. one can
slip in and out of the flow.. would that be a good way to look
at it ?
#Post#: 21210--------------------------------------------------
Re: . learning to witness
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: June 1, 2016, 11:25 pm
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Dear P:
Please only use one thread. Do not start a new thread every time
you post.
Regarding your current post, please shorten it down. You are
way to much into your thinking. You would benefit from getting
to the point.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 21218--------------------------------------------------
Re: . learning to witness
DIR By: guest899
Date: June 1, 2016, 11:45 pm
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allright i can do that, keep to one thread.. i suppose. i
should write in private. to get it all sorted. and down to the
main point. spiritual autolysis? havent gotten to that part
yet. but the skydiving story. was thrilling.. blessed..
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