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#Post#: 1891--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 29, 2014, 3:45 am
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Tell me, when does everyone drop their 'I', 'Me' and memories?
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 1914--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: know1
Date: September 29, 2014, 8:56 am
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That's what I thought, just wanted to make sure there wasn't
something more to it... Ha, Mind must be bored, digging for
bones where it knows there are none. Next.
Thanks, Jed.
#Post#: 1915--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 29, 2014, 9:31 am
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Indeed, mind must be very bored, it continues to dig up the same
junk, over and over and over. Then it attaches more and more
meaning to the meaningless. It spins and spins, and despite some
folks apparent intelligence, I think it is pretty stupid. But
that's a pot calling a kettle thing. What's one to do? Can one
to anything? Is there a 'one' and is anything happening?
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 1919--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: know1
Date: September 29, 2014, 10:41 am
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I'm guessing your questions are rhetorical, however (you love
that word) it's productive work to pick through them and provoke
a slap down in the name of clarity.
"What's one to do?" (about spinning and attaching mind)
Breathe, nothing, what is indicated. Mind spins in it's kennel,
I watch somewhat amusedly, unattached to what it "thinks" is
important. It's a high strung Trials dog, kept in it's kennel
it's fine but allowed to roam unattended it creates chaos. On
the field it was bred for and trained to run in there's nothing
more beautiful than to watch it work. Back to your kennel
beyotch.
"Can one do anything?" Yes, one can do nothing. Let the tornado
that is mind spin and turn, focus on what is indicated
(dishes,etc.), if nothing is indicated it is usuallybecause one
is dreaming the tornado again.
"Is there a 'one' and is anything happening?" No and No, which
erases the above questions and answers. Mind enjoyed chewing on
them though. Good mind.. Kennel!
#Post#: 2179--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: know1
Date: October 3, 2014, 11:22 am
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I had visitors last night, I've been here three years without
the local church leaders coming to visit (it's a standard
procedure here where 98% are one denominational) and felt damn
good about it too but last night the posse finally caught up
with me (probably tipped off by the person who I'm told birthed
me). It had obviously been planned for awhile as they had a "guy
who knows my brother" there as an "in" and just showed up out of
the blue so as to catch me off guard and hopefully (for them)
take away my option of saying "no thanks" to a meeting with
them.
I havent talked to church leaders in the jurisdiction where I
live (people whose sole responsibility is the salvation of my
soul) since 1996 when after about six years of detangling my BS
(with the help of a therapist) I stopped going to church
altogether. They showed up then too (different guys) and when I
told them my search within their paradigm was less than fruitful
for me and that I was looking for new areas to fish in, the
bishop said "sounds like you're on the right path, good luck and
we will be here when you find your way back". I didn't expect
that response but appreciated not being "put" under the guilt
knife. (They may cut your actual head off in the middle east for
being a heretic but in the west they just try to incapacitate
you with guilt). it was a major step for me, the break from
everything I had ever "known" to be true.
So here I am last night, trapped like Butch and Sundance and all
I said to myself was "I guess this is whats indicated...
interesting evening" as I opened the door and welcomed them in.
I have to say it was an enjoyable hour and a half, discussing
whatever came to mind with the freedom of no self, no governor,
no worry of "how do does this look or what are they thinking?".
Complete freedom to say and be what I am regardless of who I was
speaking with.
At some point something was said about "worthiness" or some such
and I quipped "Oh bishop, I'm a much better Mormon now than when
I was a card carrying member. (meaning tithe paying temple
goer). At that he stopped the proceeding and said "Pray tell!
please expound on that" So I enlightened them (Ha!) on the
difference between constantly putting on an ill fitting suit, a
belief system that I had nothing to do with and no choice in,
and expecting to look feel like a million bucks but instead
always looking and feeling like a beggar and a failure, riddled
with guilt and shame, all the while jumping through hoops like a
trained circus seal. Between that and knowing with a clarity of
mind exactly where I stand and moving through life not compelled
to do "good" (or bad for that matter) from any outside
expectation's (programmed beliefs) but making choices from an
interior guide of right thinking which flows from "source"
internally, naturally and therefore, needless of second guessing
and dissecting, what is, what I choose, is always right.
This went on with them asking questions back and forth and I
enjoyed the opportunity to try and express to people WAY outside
my current framework what life is like from this vantage point
and it also didn't matter at all whether there was communication
(there wasn't) or not.
The bishop stared at me shaking his head slightly sided to side
and said "I am filled with guilt that it's taken me 3 years to
come and meet you" I said "Why be filled with guilt? This is how
it was supposed to happen or it would have been otherwise." He
just shook his head, commenting on what a "special person" I was
and blah blah (nice dream!) They made quite a show the whole
evening of making sure I knew they would be inviting me to
everything and I assured them that I knew they would, their
puzzled looks let me know that this was not the response they
were looking for.
All in all it was a great sitcom, one guy telling me that; "a
bunch of the brethren are headed up the canyon with guns to go a
shootin' this weekend and I should definitely come along." My
response, "Sounds like the last place I should find myself" and
their's "Oh there won't be any alcohol!" and mine "Oh! then I'm
definitely not going." leading to their puzzled looks which
eventually turned to quiet chuckles.
I am really enjoying this place, this freedom, it is nothing
short of stunning when compared to the old template I was
working from. Thanks "Mom" for ratting out the bandit! What a
great shootout it was, OK! (corral) NEXT.
#Post#: 2181--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 3, 2014, 11:57 am
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Excellent!
Enjoy.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 2460--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: know1
Date: October 7, 2014, 1:22 pm
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I cut myself today...
No, not the NIN song sung by the Man in Black (although I enjoy
that), I actually sliced a finger on a jagged tomato paste can
lid that I'd just opened. What immediately welled up in me was:
"The Horror! The Horror! A nasty paper cut times infinity!!!
Am I right?
Wrong.
Immediately realizing my response was a program, input from my
earliest childhood traumas and others response to them, I just
sat there and experienced the sensation in my finger. Without
the "thoughts" that it was painful and that I was an idiot, it
was actually interesting, a new sensation to explore. This is
what was indicated. Period. The amazing part is that it wasn't
painful at all, just different (thank God! something
different!).
Funny how our preconceived ideas rule our experience of life, or
in this case... Not.
NEXT
#Post#: 2586--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: know1
Date: October 9, 2014, 10:13 am
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Extra! Extra! Ebola dude in Dallas Truth Realized! Read all
about it!
It's amazing how effing hard it is to "find" T/R (just look
around the forum, these are the best we've got, reminds me of
Stripes or Bad News Bears) and yet how easy it was to let the
B*****d just die and subsequently fall in. Don't get me wrong,
I'm new at this s***, like a fawn just finding it's legs I feel
a "bit all over the place" and it's the coolest.
I was a hard case, took me 3 marriages, one killed child,
another child permanently maimed, a ****load of victimhood to
crawl out of, wife running off with best buddy, another ex
accusing me of child molestation during custody evaluation, my
mommy changed her name and ran away, daddy no lovey me and beat
me to prove it, on and on it went.... the dream was nothing
short of a nightmare and through it all I held on soooo tight!
Me Me Me! Don't you get it? I'm special! This shouldn't be
happening to me! Oh you SOB God, why me!
Yeah, I had it bad, and by "it" I mean ego, biggest, saddest,
poorest crybaby in three counties, holy christ, that guy must
have been the biggest pain in the a** to be around. It took an
awful lot of swimming upstream for me to finally die. I was
always going to hit the ground, did I have to hit every branch
on the way down? Yup, thats what it took, each branch, every
blow to the head was the source telling me "let go the tiller
dipsh**, it's only as difficult as you make it"
Yeah I was a hardcase, gonna do it my way. Thanks Universe for
giving me what I needed to wake up from my nightmare, thanks
again for giving me everything I ever wanted so I could get very
clear that that's nothing as well, slap me hard again if for
some reason (hard to imagine now) I start to doze off again.
Amen.
#Post#: 2643--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: know1
Date: October 10, 2014, 8:51 am
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Jed,
This coffee tastes good.
k1
#Post#: 2721--------------------------------------------------
Re: Done
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 12, 2014, 12:15 am
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Life is a little like coffee, smells better than it tastes. That
a new Starbuck's sign, I'm trying to sell it to them, but they
aren't buying it.
Love ya, Jed.
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