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#Post#: 19678--------------------------------------------------
Integration
DIR By: Alexandra
Date: April 10, 2016, 10:33 am
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Hi Jed
2 years into living T/R and observing that despite the mind
being thoroughly dismantled (as in conditioning, beliefs,
automated reactions etc deleted from the system in a bloody
process, part of which befell on me without a warning, while
other parts were somewhat guided via your books and later
through my work with a teacher, or better say, a facilitator),
there is this physical body and psychological wiring running on
some form of cellular memory. It results with a state where
there is no thought / no opinion in the head - no compulsion to
move this way or another - yet the movement seems to be
unfolding within some sort of frame. I notice the body has its
limits and so does the psyche, the only difference to pre T/R
times is lying in no identification, which removed suffering
(which is *a lot* but does not seem to be the *whole* picture).
I am looking into the mechanics of integration of T/R into
living life. I can be completely quiet in my being for months
and days on end, act from that silence, meet people from that
silence, cook, walk, have fun or have no fun, do whatever or
nothing at all, but at the same time I can't disregard the body
in the whole process. And the body is able to feel the full
spectrum of emotions, sensations and feelings, which can arise
and be gone quickly or they can linger. On the level of the mind
self inquiry seems somewhat redundant as the only valid question
is AM I (well, nope, I am nothing, there is zero identification
and zero temptation to hold on to anything), while on the level
of the body the questions and answers are different. Who / what
am I? I am everything. I am this, I am that. I am the totality
of what is, I am the smallest fragment of the totality. I am
this or that feeling. I am the one who feels. I am the space
that holds both the feeling and the 'one' who feels.
The first months right after T/R brought a deep (a life time
worth of) exhale. The integration of it seems to be coming down
to taking full responsibility for how 'I' carry myself in life -
as in expansion in all those places that were identified /
contracted pre T/R. The T/R did not remove limitations of being,
only the identification with / resistance towards / opinions on
the limitations. Unveiling and addressing all these places now
is a different matter, yet not entirely devoid of hardship: the
penetration of no-being into being and into matter can feel
quite slow and arduous, like trying to breathe in high altitudes
or running under water.
In my case T/R was like a circle completing itself, which in
turn made ground for another round of deepening, in life, as
life itself. It feels like 'my' being expanded, in the
background there is the reality of no self, in the foreground
there is this body / psyche combo, experiencing sensations,
movement, integration.
Can you relate to this in any way? Pointers, additions,
subtractions?
#Post#: 19720--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Alexandra
Date: April 12, 2016, 9:16 am
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Is life after enlightenment any different to life before
enlightenment?
Is life after enlightenment any better to life before
enlightenment?
No. Life just is. Any comparison is lacking substance. Before /
after lack substance too - which is the essence of the metaphor
of the gateless gate. You look back, there has never been a gate
to start with and all who passed through it know it. A cosmic
joke, indeed.
YET it appears that the rounder and healthier the ego pre T/R,
the easier the post T/R integration. Once T/R kicks in, there is
no going back to develop anything anywhere. Chewing on it in all
those areas that had been 'underdeveloped' and continue to be.
Sensing - not sure if rightly so - this might be overlapping
with your take on H/A as a more gentle entry into living T/R.
Wondering if there are any words you can share on this?
#Post#: 19722--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: April 12, 2016, 9:30 am
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Hi Alexandra;
Welcome to the forum... do I have any words to share... Yes.
Tens of thousands in my books and on the forum. All available to
you...
Happy reading.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 19729--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Alexandra
Date: April 12, 2016, 10:32 am
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Oh, I have read your trilogy (and listened to the audio of it)
quite a few times over the period of the last 4 years (plus,
read one or two of you other books, which somehow did not have
as strong an impact). The trilogy was a godsend, it appeared in
my life when I was half way through the fires and it indeed
added petrol to it, but as far as I remember it does not speak
much of the details that I am investigating into these days.
Have I missed a book on the life of the vampires??
#Post#: 19730--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: April 12, 2016, 10:50 am
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It's not a book, it's five modules, called the Navigator Series,
plus 24 audio contemplations. That's about it.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 19765--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Alexandra
Date: April 14, 2016, 9:07 am
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Mhm, thank you.. Been browsing the forum here and the bits I've
read suggest that the series are designed for those who are (or
think they want to be) going towards TR, no? And so is the
majority, if not all, of the threads here. Is there anywhere
that you speak of the things I touched on in my prev posts?
#Post#: 19783--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: April 15, 2016, 3:34 am
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Probably, darned if I know where. I can't keep track of my
keys...
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 19849--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Alexandra
Date: April 18, 2016, 7:51 pm
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Well, then it looks like this exchange has just deadlocked.
#Post#: 19867--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: April 19, 2016, 3:37 am
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Perhaps, but you might go back and review the forum... it might
WD40 some things for you.
love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 19869--------------------------------------------------
Re: Integration
DIR By: Alexandra
Date: April 19, 2016, 6:52 am
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Might do, love :)
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