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       #Post#: 4049--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: guest89
       Date: November 3, 2014, 4:47 pm
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       The Path: let the leaves cover it over and rain wash it away. My
       passage will leave its own wake, without will or effort and
       water makes no record. Let it go. I will never, ever recommend
       another try to follow this way... UGK said it well, that, “it’s
       a movement”: paths are the grooves worn by mind. If somebody
       else has travelled that way before then -virgin void it may’ve
       been til they did- it has since been colonised by thought,
       already terra cognita and certainly unsuitable as my own
       jump-off place. A cliff edge painted on a stage floor.
       A game board.
       Turn inward; simply enquire, “What am I?” -then remember to stay
       with the question- and the answer is as inevitable as the
       unfolding of the day. Gratifyingly non-mystical; sometimes
       cloying and muddy with thought, sometimes the cool dispassion of
       being frenched by a snowman.
       I saw our superficial variance as individuating, separating
       factors, rather than the now more obvious obverse, facets of the
       great pattern: the 7 Billion+ Names of God. Further.
       #Post#: 4153--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: guest89
       Date: November 5, 2014, 8:49 pm
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       I was another, adequately constructed character on
       Halloween...and saw magnificently through that role that all
       roles are the thinnest of skins scaffolded from within by
       thoughts, words and inflated by nothing but moxy. There is no
       ‘real me,’ although habits wear a groove that makes certain
       aspects of character appear more persistent than others.
       Though we huddle together against fear and for companionship (in
       that order), I am neither the sum total nor intersection of ‘my’
       relationships. I am not this temporal tupperware for DNA’s
       journey through time.
       I am not the historical perspective cobbled together under ‘my’
       umbrella. I’m not the sticky thoughts…although they are the
       primary anchor points of the self construct.
       The certainty of uncertainty has become strangely comforting. I
       smile every time I remember it, yet also slightly shocked now
       whenever I forget. This is fact and it’s de-colouring day-to-day
       operations in a way that I can only describe as ‘clarifying’.
       Like breathing cool mountain air.
       I don’t need to do anything out there. My work is in here,
       scraping away at this clingy crust.
       By the way, worked out why it’s so big and dark and formless and
       seems to be only peripherally visible: it’s because it fills
       every square inch of the visible spectrum. The key was the
       peripheral part, or rather the inverse…it’s not that the bulk of
       it lurks only beyond the boundaries of sight and I’m glimpsing
       only the leading edges, but that those glimpses correspond to
       the ragged bits at the outside edge, where it disappears from
       full frontal vision with my own perception. How clever of me, to
       hide it in the open like that!
       #Post#: 4163--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: November 6, 2014, 12:38 am
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       Clever indeed.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 4453--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: guest89
       Date: November 11, 2014, 8:01 pm
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       Wow, I really am at war with myself here. Ego leaves no stone
       unturned finding places to dig its heels in…that is a totally
       false characterisation: it’s not desperate. At all. It has all
       the resources of Maya at it’s disposal…it really is smarter than
       I am and that scares the shit out of me whenever I find myself
       being outflanked...
       I’m really also seeing (more and more) clearly how much of this
       existence is software-generated…file after file of 1s and 0s, an
       infinite number of monkeys, tapping away at their sitcoms and
       taking the whole story forward…when does this become useful
       knowledge?
       I can never win this game, Ego has the home ground advantage of
       being of the same stuff as the arena… I made this? Drop, damn
       you- DROP!!!
       #Post#: 4465--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: November 11, 2014, 10:40 pm
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       >:(
       #Post#: 4759--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: guest89
       Date: November 16, 2014, 8:20 pm
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       Self isn’t in the dream, it is the dream. Ego is both maze and
       that which inhabits the maze. Rat, Skinner Box and Lab
       Assistant, indivisible, faux-desperate by virtue of doublethink.
       There is no exit, so one must strike through the walls, must
       rend the mask in whatever form it appears.
       But it’s not a maze if every wall faces beyond. It’s a dream
       tunnel, the size of the universe; made of me, through the
       vastness of nothing. I engineer the tunnel in every passing
       moment, in every direction, at whatever scale required…or,
       likely, I’m scripted to look in the direction it was engineered
       before time began.
       Locate the wall (hint: it’s not at the sensible limits, rather
       it’s closer than my wallet, sooner than Monday morning) ... and
       strike against it, whenever tired arm and bloody sword can be
       brought to bear.
       Only striking reveals glimpses of Terra Nullus; unknowable
       without experiencing…the place without artefact; from which
       there are no souvenirs.
       Nobody lives unaffected by Life’s travails. But nobody need
       fight anything to escape either. Nobody just brushes Maya aside,
       for to Nobody alone is she inconsequential…Like Jessica Rabbit,
       she’s not bad: she’s just drawn that way.
       This is a simple puzzle. To see the solution requires a certain
       viewpoint. Nobody has that viewpoint, so just unbecome
       anybody…let go of the little shell. Abandon conquered lands,
       scuttle the invasion fleet.
       There are no borders. I am Limitless. I am all, by being
       nothing.
       Further.
       #Post#: 4814--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: guest89
       Date: November 18, 2014, 10:02 am
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       Water is imperceptible to fish...consciousness is like that.
       Dark matter eludes us…yet it is the very proof of Me... just as
       the eye cannot see itself...I am the wind: nothing without
       something upon which to impact, otherwise causeless and
       imperceptible…a dream.
       And to experience myself as wind I need to first dream then
       immerse myself in phenomenon... living, burning dust, to swirl
       through cosmos… to experience the things I made at play, see
       them combine and layer to form ever more complex and convoluted
       sub-plots, observe them forming tiny nodes of intense
       consciousness that then awaken to themselves: alone and
       frightened because they have eyes to see objects but not the
       womb of space that birthed them; ears to hear but cannot detect
       sound's vessel of silence; minds to create then paint pictures
       with time, yet cannot conceive of the canvas of eternity.
       I crafted a universe from infinity, that does not- could not-
       exist without the dancing patterns of organic energy I manifest
       in this dream, imprinting raw energy with intelligence, as the
       ink with which to pen the story of every-thing and my journey
       back to the Truth of What I am.
       #Post#: 4817--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: November 18, 2014, 10:23 am
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       Could be... create and forget, create and forget, create and
       forget, now I forgot what my point was.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 4820--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: guest89
       Date: November 18, 2014, 11:09 am
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       I think it's important to keep moving, so create and forget
       seems like good advice.
       #Post#: 5080--------------------------------------------------
       Re: biisuto
   DIR By: guest89
       Date: November 24, 2014, 8:19 pm
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       Words aren’t it. They don’t even point at it. Waiting for the
       words is wrong navigation. The first syllable is the beachhead
       of a new lie.
       This isn’t going anywhere. As UGK said, “there’s no oasis over
       yonder” and I'm stuck with the mirage.
       There’s not one question and all attempts to find one keep
       ending up with the scrapings from the inside of this skull - of
       no nutritional value.
       How do I drop a tarbaby? Be as I am. Be nothing.
       Jed, you say that solutions are never at the same level as the
       problem. My take away is that there’s no point in sorting thru
       my s h i t - with the proviso that focus is on dissolving the
       structure about which s h i t accretes. Does that make sense?
       There’s no point in understanding a self that doesn’t exist,
       ie., is merely an element of a dream, right?
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