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#Post#: 18627--------------------------------------------------
Nipper's thread
DIR By: Bollocks
Date: March 3, 2016, 11:14 am
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Hi Jed McKenna
Firstly I have no idea why I chose bollocks as my username. It
felt perfect at the time. Now it doesn't. If the forum owner is
offended I will happily re-register.
I experienced the damndest and incorrect books and have started
warfare. At the end of incorrect I said to myself there is no
way that the author Jed McKenna will start a forum like all the
other self-help/spiritual enlightenment authors do. I even toyed
with the idea that if he did I would judge what I had read in
the books as just another spark of magic from golden girl maya.
This is despite the fact that experiencing those books has
absolutely blown my mind. But a blown mind isn't evidence of
truth. Then again it's Damndest that told me that ;D
Although I was champing at the bit to start reading warrior I
went looking for a Jed McKenna forum. The one I found was an
anti-Jed Mckenna teachings forum. I read through a whole load of
posts by people who clearly missed the point in the books. Then
someone posted a link to this forum. So here I am.
I would like to know (although I am not sure I know why) - (yes
I do, it's another delaying tactic in terms of SA) - if the Jed
McKenna running this forum wrote the trilogy of books I have
referred to in this post.
And what a ridiculous quesrtion that is. 1) Even if he (or she)
is not, s/he can say s/he is, and I would be none the wiser 2)
If I believe s/he is I will probably spend time on the forum at
the expense of time on SA.
I would therefore like to change my question to: Whoever you
are, which of your preferences motivates the existence of this
forum?
I would be very grateful for your answer, but totally okay if
you decline.
#Post#: 18628--------------------------------------------------
Re: A quick enquiry to delay getting on with it
DIR By: Bollocks
Date: March 3, 2016, 12:14 pm
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Okay, forget that first post. It was all about control - my
control. Making sure the provider of this forum is the provider
of the books that give me so much, so that I don't waste time on
something that won't give me as much. Total nonsense - only ego
- only fear.
And now I can't get that bloody tune out of my head: Life is But
a Dream...
I'm well into Spiritual Warfare now. I find it interesting that
I dread the book's end. The end of the trilogy. More fear. Fear
that I won't know what to do with myself. But of course I do
know. I already started doing it 30 years ago when a head injury
turned my lights out for three days, and I found myself in a
different world when I 'woke up'
But my SA was was never structured, and came in dribs and drabs.
Still coming in dribs and drabs. I had some excellent mystical
experiences, and followed the pattern you highlighted (thought
it was awakening that I then lost) and have since been trying to
re-awaken. Now thanks to the books I see them for what they
were.
Time for serious work.
I love it.
#Post#: 18629--------------------------------------------------
Re: A quick enquiry to delay getting on with it
DIR By: Bollocks
Date: March 3, 2016, 12:23 pm
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Rushing as usual, getting my thoughts down as quick as I can in
case I forget them, but forgetting to put them all down.
I just wanted to mention that my username is now an issue for
me. The discomfort I feel with it. Contemplation suggests it is
the idea that the word will offend people, and by extension I
will offend people, and I will be all alone :'(
I'll let that one simmer if I may. See if anything further comes
up from it. Or is that mere psychology?
Bloody hell. I'll give it a couple of days and then re-register
if that seems to be the thing to do.
The thought of the cogito makes me think and feel that
everything I have written here so far is a complete load of
'insert my username here' - and of course it is.
#Post#: 18634--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nipper's thread
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: March 3, 2016, 9:41 pm
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Hi there:
Welcome and don't worry about the name. It's fine with me.
Slow down, remember to breathe properly, and just be with what
is. Allow it all and don't try to repeat any experience as that
will hide Truth.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 18658--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nipper's thread
DIR By: Bollocks
Date: March 4, 2016, 2:33 pm
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Thank you, Jed.
I was reading Spiritual Warfare today and had two of those
lovely, hope-giving realisations. It was the George Orwell
crimestop quote, and what you wrote after that. Stopping short.
I 'pride' myself on being a deep-thinker. People have told me I
think too deeply. Yeah, whatever. But reading that I got it.
It's not so much about depth of thinking, although we can use
that form of measurement, but more distance of thought - sort of
as the crow flies. I saw that I must stop short because if I
didn't I wouldn't still feel the discomfort. It was a liberating
realisation.
Perhaps, certainly with me, it's knowing exactly when I stop
short. At first I thought that might be a case of not knowing
what I don't know. Stopping short is taken to be the end of the
road, that the road has been exhausted, the train of thought CAN
go no further, there's is nothing further ... Ah! Further!
So I ran a few of my usual questions, went with the train, and
when it stopped I waited - being with what is - and felt/saw the
discomfort arising from lack of completion. It wasn't about not
knowing what I don't know. It's dissonance. Plain old
dissonance. Underneath the debris I do know there is more, and,
through the discomfort, it is calling out to be seen. By slowing
down, being with what is, the call can be clearly heard.
I went back to the book and it led to more on Maya. And I then
understood more clearly the fact that Maya is inside us. Inside
me. She ain't nowhere else but right here. The gravity and
significance of this jolted me.
It's good to be here.
#Post#: 18668--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nipper's thread
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: March 4, 2016, 11:38 pm
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Nothing is ever anywhere else than here... as are you.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 18681--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nipper's thread
DIR By: Bollocks
Date: March 5, 2016, 11:23 am
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Yes!
Okay, onward and inward. Last night I was putting more effort
than I have before into seeing through the illusion. At one
point it felt like I was the only 'one' that existed. Then a
sharp stab of fear. I reflexively flinched away from it and it
was gone. But almost in the same moment I tried to get the fear
back. I knew I had missed an opportunity. But it had gone.
I have such a constant loathing of my self. Not a hatred, but a
deep, all pervading dissatisfaction. I 'know' I am a
'representation of falsehoods equally with the rest.' And I
sense the 'equally' to be as significant as the representation.
It suggests to me that I have been giving myself a subtle pat on
the back for not being like the sleeping masses. But I see that
for the nonsense it is. I know that 'I' am not, but I'm not
seeing 'I' am not.
It feels like just one thin veil is between me and Truth. The
beginning of Truth anyway. At the same time I know that the veil
I am imagining is probably just the next door.
My intention is to go on a solo vision quest next week. There is
an isolated area, a wild overgrown field, that I can go to for
three days. It's owned by my wife's parents. Nobody goes there.
A tarp, a sleeping bag, nature, and me. Face the demons.
Spiritual Autolysis.
#Post#: 18688--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nipper's thread
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: March 5, 2016, 9:58 pm
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Good, leave all distractions behind.
Love ya, Jed.
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