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       #Post#: 18562--------------------------------------------------
       marbles
   DIR By: DragonTree
       Date: March 1, 2016, 9:22 pm
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       Hi.
       Funny that this forum exists, about a week ago I was browsing my
       familiar sites and I thought about how I'd need to find a forum
       dedicated to this exact purpose... found it!
       I've read the SE trilogy, but the only book I've really taken my
       time with is damndest which i've been rereading. There's a few
       things on my mind and i'm just going to dump them here.
       1. The first question. I'm not certain about what i want truth
       or adulthood, however, I know exactly what I don't want. I'm not
       gunning for truth, but the moment i set it down and settle for
       adulthood it basically feels like I'm being glared at and the
       pointlessness sucks everything worth doing out of my life. If i
       were to guess, i'd say you'd point me in the direction of
       adulthood and that's fine. Maybe i don't have a clear picture of
       what that is.
       2. I was sitting on my bed waiting for a phonecall one night and
       out of the blue began meditating. I remember hearing someone say
       "you can't stop the mind" so I immediately challenged it. After
       a minute or two I realized that its impossible to find my
       thoughts because they become you in every moment. Next, I was
       outside of my mind - couldn't really tell you what that's like
       ;)
       I haven't been able to recreate an out-of-mind experience, the
       hole I escaped from seems to be patched. Next, I began reading.
       The 2 concepts that I found: makyo, tunneling into another cell.
       The reason this experience is still on my mind is that i'm
       wondering if it might be a better vantage point for me because
       now that i know that you can go outside the mind it feels like
       i'm stuck inside fighting the hydra.
       3. I wish i never read your books
       #Post#: 18564--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: March 1, 2016, 9:36 pm
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       Dear Marbles:
       Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I am going to
       use you as a little example, perhaps I should apologize in
       advance.
       A grammar lesson is called for. I am going to sound a little
       pedantic, but you said you had two questions. Questions start
       with: who, what, where, when, how or  why. I didn't see any
       questions and no sentence ended with a question mark... a
       requisite. In short, statements are not questions.
       The point is that your communication is very general and perhaps
       an attempt to solicit an opinion, but I am not sure, and I would
       prefer to be sure.
       Clear communication is, IMHO, quite important... not only your
       communicating with your apparent self, but with apparent others
       as well. I'm reluctant to go off generalizing based on what I
       assume you want of me. Assumptions make and ass of you and me.
       Ah, what the heck, I'll to it. DO NOT TRY TO REPEAT ANY
       EXPERIENCE. EVER! Trying to repeat or look for that same
       experience is all that is needed to cover up your True Nature
       and the realization of who/what you are, in Truth.
       I hope you take my response in as I intended it, in good sport,
       but I have no control over that.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 18569--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: DragonTree
       Date: March 2, 2016, 12:42 am
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       Jed when you say "Thank you for your post" is that just a
       formality or is it something else?
       #Post#: 18576--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: DragonTree
       Date: March 2, 2016, 2:15 am
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       nevermind
       #Post#: 18597--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: DragonTree
       Date: March 2, 2016, 9:36 pm
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       During a presentation I did today it hit me that I am not
       controlling anything my body does anymore than one controls
       their heartbeat.
       Is there any difference between conscious and unconscious
       breathing?
       #Post#: 18601--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: March 3, 2016, 12:08 am
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       Yes...
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 18630--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: DragonTree
       Date: March 3, 2016, 2:00 pm
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       ugh re-reading this thread is already painful... way too much
       context <-- THERE IT IS AGAIN <--AND AGAIN    etc.
       I'd like to say i'm sorry for wasting your time but this
       sentence assumes an awful lot. I (thoughts) don't know how to
       operate without context so bear with me.
       There's been a lot of energy in my limbs, specifically legs. Its
       hard to sleep when blankets are being kicked around all night.
       Is there any remedy to this?
       water/breathing/sleep has been the focus, sleep isn't happening.
       #Post#: 18631--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: DragonTree
       Date: March 3, 2016, 4:33 pm
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       all i did was shift the problem. Guess i'll just be tired with
       crazylegs, that's actually pretty funny!
       #Post#: 18632--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: DragonTree
       Date: March 3, 2016, 4:37 pm
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       and then "funny" is the way i look at a segmented sequence of
       [perceived] events. i think its time to stop posting
       #Post#: 18633--------------------------------------------------
       Re: marbles
   DIR By: DragonTree
       Date: March 3, 2016, 5:26 pm
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       hah wrong, can't stop at the moment (can't stop the moment
       either)
       truth is a red herring isn't it?
       asking 'what is true' assumes that there IS truth. There's as
       much truth as there is false ???
       Maybe phrasing it as something and nothing will help me. The
       assumption that things can only be or not be seems like a
       limiting factor. Perhaps there's unlimited iterations of
       being/not being, that is to say you can separate duality into
       infinite factors if you had the brain for it (or join duality).
       fuck this is messy
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