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#Post#: 13092--------------------------------------------------
Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: purpleroses111
Date: July 20, 2015, 5:57 pm
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After a weekend of identifying with severe depression (which
shockingly took a lot of energy out of me) and intense 'self'
loathing, I had an epiphany about 'attaining' freedom from the
mind.
The ONLY way to get freedom from the mind is to stop identifying
with anything it says, perhaps. But...it also seems that...
If I'm not willing to be a complete loser in life that is hated
by everyone, seen as undesirable and all the perceived negative
traits ever, and is totally alone, then I can never be free. If
I believe literally ANYTHING the mind says about 'me' or anyone
or anything else, I will forever be enslaved in this body/mind
mechanism.
Am I going crazy or does this make sense?
#Post#: 13094--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 20, 2015, 8:41 pm
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Dear Perp:
Well you do present a dilemma, but is this truly an either or
scenario.
Let me ask this... if you found a person, say a friend or even
just an acquaintance who was truly and genuinely enlightened,
T/R or free or whatever descriptor you wish to use, do you not
think that you might want to be around this person... even if
only in the hope that some might rub off on you? Do you think
their straight forward talk and nature would be repulsive, or
perhaps a present change from the standard b.s. that gets passed
off as conversation? Do you think that person would be a
complete loser in life that is hated by everyone, seen as
undesirable and all the perceived negative traits ever, and is
totally alone?
I could give you my opinion on it, but that doesn't matter. Do
the thinking and math for yourself and get back to me.
Oh, and BTW, welcome to the forum and I appreciate your sincere
sharing.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 13108--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: purpleroses111
Date: July 21, 2015, 2:03 am
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Contemplating your question as honestly as possible. Actually,
Yes, I would like to be around a truth-realized person. There
are a few people online that claim they are truth realized that
seem like really cool people to hand around. Why? They don't
take life seriously and do their own thing without expending a
lot of time judging/worrying about what other people are doing.
They can see through baloney and while they see through it, can
still entertain it, if they feel in a playful mood. And they
have found their own unique approach to living life and appear
fearless. So, yes, I would think it would be cool to have a
truth-realized friend.
"Do you think that person would be a complete loser in life that
is hated by everyone, seen as undesirable and all the perceived
negative traits ever, and is totally alone?"
^^ When I wrote the above, I was describing what my mind judges
whatever this 'me,' as. Based on past experiences, my physical
appearance, and beliefs that were ingrained since childhood. I'm
aware that this might not be true at all. That it could be a
relative perception, i.e. in the society I live in, I might be
considered undesirable, a loser, dumb, weird, etc. etc. But in
another culture/society, I might be considered the opposite.
There is absolutely no way for me to know which is true - either
perception COULD be true, which is a very scary and painful
feeling, but one that I'm embracing more now.
Hmm, you stumped me with if this is an either or scenario. Did
you mean that you *have* to be a loser in life in order to be
truth realized, being faulty thinking? Or, that you could be
truth-realized and still be considered a lot of positive traits?
#Post#: 13116--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 21, 2015, 12:13 pm
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Either perception could be true... uh.. nope, not in my
experience. A perception is a perception, nothing more and
nothing Truthish about it. When you are T/R you don't care
about positive traits, they are made up also. A positive trait
in one context is repulsive in another, so how can either be
True.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 13117--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: purpleroses111
Date: July 21, 2015, 12:34 pm
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--- Quote from: Jed McKenna link ---
>
> Either perception could be true... uh.. nope, not in my
experience. A perception is a perception, nothing more and
nothing Truthish about it. When you are T/R you don't care
about positive traits, they are made up also. A positive trait
in one context is repulsive in another, so how can either be
True.
>
> Love ya, Jed.
>
--- End Quote ---
Interesting point...that is something to REALLY think about. If
something is true, it is true in all cases, at all times. Not
switching depending on circumstances or perception/viewpoint.
And the only thing I can think of that fits that description of
being true at all times it the - I AM.
That helped snap me out of the mind's very long, extensive
thought cycle that I would typically get engrossed in.
If all ideas/everything is made up, then really all I need to do
is stop identifying with the mind as the source of truth. Just
see it as 'good theater.' And just be. The universe (if it
exists) seems to take care of me and help foster things I am
passionate about without the mind's help.
Sit back, relax, watch the mind do it's thing without
identifying with it, and live in this mind/body while it lasts.
Just allow to happen what happens. Truth realization or not.
Enjoy the ride :)
#Post#: 13130--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 22, 2015, 3:08 am
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Dear Purp:
You're starting to sound like a good Guru... good on ya. It's
all theatre as you say, I often say entertainment.
So if the ''I am'' is all that is, or appears to be Truthish for
the moment, I would suggest that it's the best place to start. I
see it as a portal and a very effective technique (not big on
that word, but...) just do it. Don't try to exclude or overcome
anything, just continually refer back to the ''I am''', however
you perceive it. You sense of ''I am''' may change with time and
experience, but don't let that bother you, just stay with it.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 13135--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: purpleroses111
Date: July 22, 2015, 9:54 am
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Thanks for the suggestion of where to focus. That part of where
you said (In The Moment) I AM always remains really resonated
because no matter what is happening in the moment, if it doesn't
last forever and continuously, it's not real (and that might be
inaccurate because some minds might continue to chatter until
death)..hmm, then I doubt it, because is it possible to sleep
with excessive mind chatter? I don't think so, but don't know.
Nor is it important (another thing to remind myself). But,
anyhow, the I AM is what remains in every single situation in
life.
Another thing I thought about. I seem to notice that when the
mind judges people, it is literally talking about itself in some
(perhaps cloaked) form. This idiom "we are all one," I don't
really know what that means, but noticing how my mind is
literally talking about itself (and have noticed it for
'others') when it judges other people (good or bad) is
absolutely hilarious (when I don't identify with it) and points
to that idiom.
#Post#: 13226--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: purpleroses111
Date: July 24, 2015, 1:43 pm
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I was inspired by a different user's post about human adulthood.
It's probably not possible to explain what it actually is, but
you mentioned symptoms of it. This is my take on plausible
symptoms:
*Realizing that 'you' and only 'you' are responsible for your
fulfillment in life and for setting up the fertile grounds for
TR (if that is a desire)
*Less and less focus on 'other' people and what's going on in
the world and more on what 'you' are doing, feeling, etc.
*The evaporation of the 'victim' and 'poor old me' mentality.
*Realizing no one is doing anything to you (except maybe
physically assaulting you) - that you only allow or hold on to
beliefs that cause pain.
*You realize what people say or think about you - is only a
reflection of their own mind. It has nothing to do with 'you.'
Consequently, you don't care what people think of you (good or
bad).
*Good/bad and all other dual labels are just that - labels. So
judging anything is futile.
*Acceptance of what is, what the mind does, and of what you are.
#Post#: 13241--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 25, 2015, 4:58 am
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Dear Perp:
Good start. How are your symptoms?
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 13265--------------------------------------------------
Re: Am I a Glutton for Pain, Or is this the only way to freedom?
DIR By: purpleroses111
Date: July 26, 2015, 1:56 am
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My current symptoms:
1. I feel very alone.
2. I don't feel as a strong urge to debate with people as I used
to.
3. It's clear that no one can help me regarding
truth-realization or fulfillment in life. Merely pointing.
4. I see that I can't know anything for 100% certainly in life,
except for I AM.
5. Identification with the mind is lesser than ever. There are
still bouts of depression (I had this morning) and anger, but no
where as severe as it used to be.
6. I don't feel compelled to judge people anymore because I see
the ridiculousness of it - I am judging someone that is JUST
LIKE ME.
7. I allow the mind to say and do what it wants. It completely
rips 'me' apart and mocks me. Full of self-hatred. So, I allow
it and question statements and beliefs with "I don't know if
that's true. It could be, but I don't know if it is."
8. I don't feel the super strong urge to try to find a man to
date as I used to. Thoughts come sometimes, but not like it used
to be. It appears that "I" (It could be a mind game) have
dropped the idea completely and am just prepared to be alone
until death.
9. Things in the news, stories that people say they heard or
read, people's stories, and now it's focusing on my memories -
I'm more detached from them now and don't take them seriously.
There is a thought of "I don't know if it's true or real"
lingering.
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