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#Post#: 12597--------------------------------------------------
Lionox
DIR By: lionix
Date: June 27, 2015, 9:01 am
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Started listening to spiritually incorrect enlightenment
yesterday and I don't know yet if i should thank my brain for
soaking up the info or hate it. But the snowball is rolling and
i believe there is no way back.
Short background: I have been lightly involved but highly
interested into spirituality and meditation for over a decade
now. Till yesterday I found Vipassana meditation the closest
thing for gaining 'real' insight because unlike other
'techniques' Vipassana isn't focussing on altered states of
consciousness or feeling 'relaxed'. But just how reality works.
Back to yesterday: After ~60min of listening I had this crazy
experience. I don't like to call it a moment of insight or
satori because I don't like to get caught up in concepts. But I
was at fully observer mode of the mind. I had this before with
vipassana but with vipassana you adress the feeling/emotion and
it goes away when put light on. But in this case everything was
going on, like the mind stressing about work, making weekend
plans etc, but I was floating in a way above my mind while
everything happened. (not an out out of body experience but a
out of mind experience sort of speak).
of course i chased this 'state' of the rest of the day without
any success. 'something' clicked. good or bad i don't know.
#Post#: 12613--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: June 29, 2015, 4:05 am
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Dear L:
Thanks for sharing. I strongly suggest that ANY experience you
have, you just ignore it and move on. What you really seek will
not come as an experience.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 12635--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: lionix
Date: June 29, 2015, 1:03 pm
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Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.
I'm moving further and go backwards at the same pace. What i
learned in just a few days (after a decade of spiritual '
learning') the ego is not what I think it was or what i learned
about it. It is way more fragile i could ever imagine. I face it
more and more often. Before i meditated on it but now i learned
this was just another defence mechanism. Or maybe not even that,
just another concept.
You say: "ignore it and move on"
Howto ignore, and how to move on?
#Post#: 12677--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 1, 2015, 6:54 am
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How to ignore and move on? Well, do exactly the opposite of what
you are doing now, i.e., clinging to it and going nowhere. It's
simple, just do it, or not.
Love ya, Jed.
Game Hint: Don't ''Try'', just do it.
#Post#: 12692--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: lionix
Date: July 2, 2015, 11:13 am
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Hi jed, thanks. And i mean thanks really.
Sorry for my previous question, I was somewhat a vague without
any foundation. I’m currently swallowing it all up and try(just
do it) not to come up with more question than needed.
The past years I was really stuck on this journey, and the
advice u gave me (ignoring experiences good or bad) and words
from your book actually snapped all the strings I had with my
past teachings/teachers and believes in a matter of days (it
literally snapped without any resistance). This process was
good, i know this.
The past years i have been living in this void and meditated on
too much bull****(like what karma means, non attachment and
other stuff just to temporarily chase a different state) instead
of seeing the bigger picture. I see it now, i sure do, but still
not there yet. I also see that i’m in this body with all the
emotions, drama, psychical pain and strength and no amount of
meditation or drugs(didn’t try that) will enable truth
realization. I know this also. These things will just cure a few
unpleasant symptoms at best. I also see myself play the drama
called life. I knew about this 10 years ago as a concept, but
now I actually see it for what it is. Automatically this brings
a kind of ‘flow’ state with it but i'm not after that. Flow is
just a cool byproduct. I had periods of depression before, and i
still do. Yesterday evening I was ‘in’ it. Normally I would do
‘stuff’ to fix this issue, but not this time. I looked at it. I
tried to answer questions about it. And finally I asked what u
talk about...What is truth...What is this… And who am I. And who
feels depressed. After a while of cutting...these questions I
cannot answer... every time I come out to just empty. Absolutely
nothing, and no thoughts about what this nothing might be. Empty
as empty something can be. The day after I continued your book
and strangely u open the subject about depression and this state
of depression is actually the void. When not afraid, why try to
escape it?
What my real question is: U say turning 180 degrees from what
I’m doing now. But how do i know i didn’t turn 360 degrees? How
do I know i arrived at the startline?
#Post#: 12833--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: lionix
Date: July 9, 2015, 9:26 am
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Forget the q. Ive got it
Further
#Post#: 12899--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 12, 2015, 2:16 am
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8)
#Post#: 12995--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: lionix
Date: July 17, 2015, 3:53 am
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jed, in warfare u speak about 'authentic desire'. Yet,
destroying ego is mission nr1.
For one not truth realized, the 'authentic' part can also be
maya disguised...
How to deal with this in everyday living?
#Post#: 13042--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 19, 2015, 7:27 am
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See everything as authentic and in-authentic at the same time.
The trick is neither exists, other than in thought... and you
know about that.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 13146--------------------------------------------------
Re: Lionox
DIR By: lionix
Date: July 22, 2015, 12:45 pm
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Roger that. so just keep on floating in this void doing nothing
important or unimportant at all. I even cannot imagine why
people found this a depressing thing...am i delusional? probably
i am, but hey, delusion is a concept, and all concepts are false
so this delusion projected from the void on me where does this
come from? (this isn't a question)
Alright enough with this crap. Just breathe. thanks Jed ;)
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