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#Post#: 2695--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: SEE
Date: October 11, 2014, 11:04 am
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Dear Jed,
Two things. And forgive me the crappy language.
- 1. Being dead while alive. Yep. Never been more present and
alive then THIS. What is dead has actually never been, so it's
cool 8)
Strange things happen though. The relating seems on hold, no
social out-reaching, family denying, best friends baffled,
professional contacts uncomprehending. Personal history deleted,
no common basis to relate = social death in conventional sense.
It's not the end of relating but a turn in the direction of no
goal, importance or outcome. Old rules gone, no new rules. New
roles with no script. Sounds like fun!
- 2. The OBVIOUS = the way. I've overlooked it big time and it's
been here all the time! Not just what I am but what to do and
how to do it. I always wondered how it would be to learn how to
manifest but it works all by itself. It is manifesting itself.
Right in front of my nose, even closer then the skin. Right
here. It's a real miracle NOT to see it. All the seeking is
turning away from the obvious which never was good enough. It's
like: This is it. No way, it can't be. There must be something
else. Nope. This is it. The sole singular being.
J. Carse's book has just arrived. It seems like precisely right
lecture right now from what I can see by brief screening. Thanks
for that.
<3
Kasia
#Post#: 2709--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 11, 2014, 11:11 pm
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Dear K:
Don't stop now!
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 2753--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: SEE
Date: October 12, 2014, 5:34 pm
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Dear Jed,
Wow, that was an energetic slap, you (gray bearded) wizard. That
exclamation mark is alarming!
Now the dreaming for a change is playfull and funny, I'm not
allowed to bask in it! :P [* slams the door]
[* back again and in the straight posture]
SIR, yes SIR!
Phew, that was close... Now, back to my last question which you
have so elegantly diverted back to where it belongs.
It's still grinding and scraping so, just as suspected, there is
no answer.
However, what I can report is the latest status: a sudden
clarity about the impossibility of a self.
In this sense I'm giving myself a slap after cutting myself some
slack and opportunity to play. I'm telling myself that I need to
be back on track and focus again. Fun and marvel stuff has no
priority to myself although I can't deny that it's good to have
had a brief encounter with it. All that myself is just a figure
of speach as all of it comes from the same source and you are I
just as much as I am. Damn, I get frustrated when failing to
express what's obvious and yet totaly un-verbaliz-able. But I
guess you do get what I'm failing to say as I am saying it just
to myself. ::)
Do you have any specific pointer regarding the sloppyness you
detect?
Thnx, K
#Post#: 2807--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: SEE
Date: October 13, 2014, 9:50 am
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Dear K,
Where would you point to if you were asked this question?
Love ya, K
#Post#: 2820--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: SEE
Date: October 13, 2014, 4:44 pm
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Dear K,
Thanks for reminding whose ride this is ::)
Let's see. It all boils down to a simple T-junction. LEFT: H/A
party. RIGHT... I don't know and can't know, but let's say the
abyss.
Interesting how revealing simple assigning of words for
directions can be. Whoa, hold your horses, now that's magical
thinking (isn't all thinking magical?).
Holy ****! It's not even a choice! The direction is being taken
and I have no say in it insofar as witnessing just happens. So
WHOSE call is this actually?
It feels like balancing on the edge of unknown (for the lack of
better word). Like the abyss behind and a wonderous mirage in
front. It makes no sense to turn into the abyss and look in it
because there is no-thing to sense there. So paying attention to
perception and mirage results in clinging to it => leaning into
it => believing it.
The best thing I could say to myself right now is: drown your
attention in the abyss and keep your senses equally relaxed.
Focus that it's called for is not the matter of tightness and
tension. Rather gently and equally being aware. Sounds like a
recycled Jed pointer, buddhist exercise or unerased Zen
inheritance... ;D Or ... just a simple legitimate good piece of
advice.
Even better thing to say to myself would be: check out where the
abyss IS NOT. But that's just too tempting.
BS! Overlooking the obvious again.
I AM frigging abyss enjoying fata morgana just a wee bit too
much...
Well, well, well, BYOFG. Back on track!
K.
#Post#: 2853--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 14, 2014, 4:55 am
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Dear See:
You are doing just fine, no go and grind.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 3386--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: SEE
Date: October 26, 2014, 6:48 pm
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Dear Jed,
Re your latest rant: it strung a cord again and made me realize
that 'me' is just just a pattern with its own apparent
integrity. It is not individual-based but rather consists of
behaviours sustaining the relationships' structure.
The trouble starts when at some point that pattern proves to be
a total fraud and the relationship's stucture collapses. Does it
mean that the pattern never existed? Or has the way of looking
at it proved to be wrong? Probably both.
Seen in this light, relationships are just another pattern of
patterns, memory based, reinforced by sense input and endlessly
covered by stories. In itself demonstrating its own integrity
(rules of behaviour), but as itself simply non-existent. Letting
them go is a non-issue... as there is nothing to hold onto.
And when I'm at it: the same goes for ANY observation. Literally
nothing to hold onto. It comes and goes. No need for anything
and all is welcome.
Surrender is such a... defensive word as there is nothing to
surrender, never was. The end of surrendering. ;D
Thnx, K
#Post#: 3409--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 26, 2014, 11:41 pm
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I gave up... and you???
Love ya, Jed. ;)
#Post#: 3420--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: SEE
Date: October 27, 2014, 4:11 am
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Yep, precisely so.
Just stopped insisting on 'me-ing'.
To be honest, the pattern is not completely wiped out. It has
not enough energy though to make any fuss and claim what's
apparantly happening. So it's better to say that the prospective
has slightly shifted and offers a totally different, eh,
outlook. Nothing has really changed, yet no thing is the same.
Also I must admit I feel a rant coming that might sound like a
contradition to the above. I'll let it boil for a while first
before spoiling it on you.
:P
#Post#: 3440--------------------------------------------------
Re: Surrender
DIR By: SEE
Date: October 27, 2014, 9:16 am
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No rant after all, just coming-out. Slightly longer then
allowed, sorry for that.
When I was a kid I used to live in a fantasy world. I enjoyed
making it up, except for the scary part. In my late teens came
an urge to investigate the world I was experiencing. I loved to
draw/paint. Natural curiosity led me to studying shapes, colors,
prospective, light, shadows and how it all comes together. I
ended up at a prestigious art academy but instead of visual arts
I studied more socially desirable graphic design.
The main goal of the academy was to teach ‘conceptual
thinking’: making up a loaded, complex visual message for
future clients. Predictably, years later it turned out to be an
utter failure. I sucked at producing sound, plausible concepts.
To sell them I had to believe in them and I just couldn’t.
My work has always felt counterproductive making me think that I
was in a wrong line of business doing stuff I didn’t have
any grasp of. For a long time I thought that what I was taught
to do, was exactly opposite to the natural pull towards finding
the truth. Now, that’s totally mixing up stuff and looking
for a justification, right?
Now, I’m off the hook. Designing identity, however totally
wacked out, is just a play of shapes and colors, mostly very
obvious and elegantly tied together. Since simplified and very
arbitrary rendering of what I experience comes naturally to me,
people seem to like it and pay me to do that.
Confession: I run an image bakery! Hot air and fresh flavors!
How absolutely wonderful and utterly meaningless! Easy to enjoy
until Jesus comes ☺
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