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#Post#: 11655--------------------------------------------------
Dobby's thread.
By: Huzefa Date: May 14, 2015, 2:04 pm
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Hello!
I started SA a few weeks ago, by sending mails to a friend of
mine who agreed to be the recipient. I started with "A circle
has 360 degrees" and went far ahead from there. In a few days I
reached conclusions such as thought-feelings were illusions, all
beliefs were false, etc. Except for one occasion, in which I
trivialized my love for a girl I fell for, trivialized love
itself and trivialized myself, where my mouth opened in shock
and a few tears came, except for that, there has been nothing
major. It was basically cold logic most of the time. After those
conclusions, I started analyzing my beliefs and my life. I don't
know if that is useful.
So does merely questioning everything awaken someone? Or does it
need an emotional response too? Since, even if I have come to
the conclusion that love is dream phenomenon, I still feel love.
How will that ever change? I still am attached.
I have got nothing major going here. I love writing SA emails,
but I hope I'm not doing something futile. What should I do?
Thank you !
PS: I really like this forum.
PPS: I was really happy when I cried, since I guessed I would
not cry for the same reason again.
#Post#: 11661--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Jed McKenna Date: May 14, 2015, 11:25 pm
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Dear Huzef:
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I tried to avoid telling
students what to anticipate. It's you journey and while I know
some standard ''levels'', I leave your work and experiences up
to you. Nothing requires and emotional response. They just come
and they go. You know there are very transient because you feel
one way one day and another way the next day. Really ask
yourself, how important is something that comes and goes and
changes all the time? You only think your emotions are important
because they keep you locked in drama and avoiding the
nothingness that you really are.
Just watch them, don't try to change them, and don't get too
attached to them. They are very unimportant.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 11678--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Huzefa Date: May 15, 2015, 12:29 pm
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OK then. I'll try to stop actively seeking emotional responses.
I'll continue the SA.
I understand what you're saying, about not telling me what to
expect. I'm happy that I'm not going to get some spiritual
placebo. Your judgement is prudent.
Thank you very much. :)
ps. I'm considering using a wristwatch again. Memento mori, ya
know. 8)
#Post#: 11687--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Jed McKenna Date: May 15, 2015, 8:48 pm
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I wouldn't worry about it. Carlos Castenada used to teach that
one should be aware that the angel of death is on you shoulder
at all times. Not a bad idea.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 11822--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Huzefa Date: May 20, 2015, 9:18 am
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Yesterday, was the day before an exam, which I gave today. As I
opened the book, and I couldn't understand anything, I was
steeped in dread. The fear was rational, wasn't it? I don't work
if not under pressure. If I don't feel fear or get stressed, my
experience tells me, I won't work at all. But yet this is
perplexing, since I technically know about the fallacy of the
examination being there, or I being in this situation.
I know I'm not unattached enough for being unaffected by the
veracity of the world as of yet. And I think, working on it will
eventually take me there. Am I right in saying that?
#Post#: 11823--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Jed McKenna Date: May 20, 2015, 10:00 am
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The is about you, not me. Do what you are doing and find out for
yourself. But, you're on the right track.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 12119--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Huzefa Date: June 3, 2015, 11:37 pm
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Hey Jed!
Yesterday, while I was in a train, I was thinking about
acceptance and was strictly monitoring the array of annoyances
that I was facing (I was sweating, the train was slow, etc).
Also, I was examining everything in my life and trying to see
how everything in my life story, somehow has happened because I
deeply wanted it, perhaps without knowing that I did. "It
couldn't be otherwise." I said this to myself reassuringly tens
of times while thinking of everything that had happened and what
I was presently going through.
Then something happened. I realized that I didn't exist and I
and the universe were basically the same. The weight of the
realization lasted for about 2.75 seconds. Is that significant,
in the process? Or is it a distracting experience?
Also, you spoke in you books about two kinds of ignorance. Any
ideas about how do I go about finding the stuff that I think I
know, but don't? It is pretty hard, and I am long past
questioning my religious dogma, but surely there must be more
assumptions that I don't see.
With much love,
Huzefa.
#Post#: 12121--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Jed McKenna Date: June 3, 2015, 11:58 pm
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Dear Huzefa:
Anything you can perceive is not it. Don't worry about your
brief experience and do NOT try to find it or replicate it.
You still think there is a you who can do something... just be
in the thought ''I am'' and let it do it's work. Don't try to
force anything.
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 12401--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Huzefa Date: June 17, 2015, 6:15 am
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I was going through SA, and I was nearing a new strategy
yesterday, when all of a sudden, my life situation is putting in
front of me this whole new thing.
I have a job interview coming up. This new thing has brought
about new emotions in the picture. I am so scared, my belly
churns. All my ambitions are right in front of me. These
ambitions, I have been cherishing since years. Now it is those
very ambitions that are coming as scary entities to haunt me. I
have doubts about my future. I always would think of a rosy
future to be my destiny, when I was a child. Full of prosperity,
fame, recognition, social prestige. This all means so much to
me, I never knew, as well as I do now.
Having said that, I am not being able to work towards such a
future as well. It is horrible how incapacitated and handicapped
emotions are making me. I am terribly out of flow.
Surrendering to God's will is easier said than done. I am
paralyzed. The thought of death is comforting. I don't know what
to do.
Greetings, Jed.
Huzefa
#Post#: 12402--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stuck on logic
By: Jed McKenna Date: June 17, 2015, 8:25 am
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Dear Huzefa:
Just stick with your SA. Write something that is true.
Love ya, Jed.
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