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       #Post#: 10327--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 19, 2015, 4:39 pm
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       no its not, jeje thanks
       #Post#: 10332--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 19, 2015, 7:40 pm
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       im still very conditioned, i look for the right thing to do, i
       have to confess, its like i still feel like a sinner or that i
       must not do some things because i will affect others, things
       like that, and im talking about embarking on  projects like
       traveling more, singing more or  go into a lucid dreaming
       project,. i feeel like i have to be normal to not freak out
       others, it feels liberating to writte this
       #Post#: 10333--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 19, 2015, 7:43 pm
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       its lkie as if i tought that i must operate under normal modes,
       because thats how life is supposed to be,from my christian
       background, and all the good shit is on the other side, i have
       already experienced some success with girls, but not the one i
       wanted, or i feel that if i specialize in other projects i would
       seem incongruent, something like
       #Post#: 10334--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 19, 2015, 7:44 pm
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       its like there is always the tendency to look for god or father
       rules eventought i dont exist and as if those rules were real
       #Post#: 10339--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: Jed McKenna
       Date: March 19, 2015, 9:59 pm
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       A human adult doesn't look to God or father rules. That's the
       difference that makes a difference.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 10366--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 20, 2015, 1:18 pm
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       thanks Jed
       #Post#: 10368--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 20, 2015, 1:23 pm
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       i can do all those things and not feel guilty now, that was it
       next up
       its like im looking to make a certain structure to my self image
       or structure
       but i felt guilty about some of those things based on my old
       conditioning
       i was putting the excuse to not recognize guilty as if i do thos
       ethings my structure will be  not cool, or have traits that make
       me feel guilty
       but its possible
       #Post#: 10369--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 20, 2015, 1:32 pm
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       nest up is what is self image, can others see your self image or
       what you are thinking?
       i know it makes me feel guilty to think certain things, but
       apart from that can someone se your self image or what ou have
       done like as if you were a mirror,
       can people see your ego structure?
       just an odd question but a very  cool question i think
       because well in "my own" experiencewhen i talk with certain
       people i can get an idea of what they are, but i cant see what
       they have donde to have those characteristics, its like i see
       their personality but are mere allucinations, in my mind and not
       what is in the now, just a body.
       so maybe its just their energy
       #Post#: 10370--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 20, 2015, 1:42 pm
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       but how can i see their energy, its like i go away from the
       present and experience a certain pictures in my own mind of what
       they think/are
       #Post#: 10371--------------------------------------------------
       Re: just to amenize
   DIR By: andy
       Date: March 20, 2015, 1:44 pm
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       or what i think its happening, and sometimes almost all is
       negative energy, is as if i dont put attention on the positives
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