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#Post#: 42952--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: April 27, 2021, 4:46 am
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:D Well, your guidance has been sublime! May many be touched
by it....to ultimately find that unfathomable force behind it :)
If less is more......then nothing is the most. Who'd've thunk
that sitting on a living room couch and staring out into the
darkness through the window at 3 am would herald such brimming
gratitude....joy....fullness....sense of hurtling into the heart
of adventure? Not me, that's for sure. Something within just
gets locked into place and this thrumming sensation of alignment
takes over. Zero point energy. Feeling is that one could sit
like this forever and ever, as the sense of self (body/persona)
and the surroundings it sits within become practically
unrecognizable. It's here where "I don't know" has profound
implications. The upside down question mark. The inside joke.
So beautiful!
Intention is to take this state of bottomless presence....keep
it close at hand as this weird thing/body avatar does whatever
it needs to do throughout the day...Ariadne's thread. Muck
around in the back yard...shop for food...wash and vacuum my
aging car.....scoop the litter boxes...interact with the fam :D
Stabilization of this state....is my deepest prayer.
Thank you, Jed!
#Post#: 42955--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: April 29, 2021, 5:05 am
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It's done. I know it. The rest is academic! :) Been given a
few vision-induced talismans...representing manifestation of
completion of my desire-less desire (in alignment with
yesterday's oracle heralding a task already complete...only fine
tuning remaining...and that it's completion should be presaged
by clear vision...that its completion will engender the deep
passion for what I already have! You've said this so many
times, Jed....how walking in truth realization cultivates this
ever deepening state). The talismans represent that ever
deepening state, which is available within seconds of turning my
awareness to it....all day long, without fail. The first visual
talisman is the upside down question mark...painted in
white-gold light within my body, head to toe. The self-query
"What am I?". The next is a donut shaped anchor-weight
magnetically affixed around a plumb line which extends down,
down, down...deep into the infinite depths of the ocean. I'm a
free diver and simply anchor myself to that weight and let
go...go limp. One way journey into the loving arms of the heart
of the void. Final, is becoming one of a bazillion threads of
multicolored light...spilling over the edge of the event horizon
of the supermassive black hole at the center of the self.
#Post#: 42958--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Jed McKenna Date: April 29, 2021, 9:13 pm
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Hi there D by S:
Please write me at cambodianashram@gmail.com. I have something
to share.
Take care and happy diving.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 42964--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: April 30, 2021, 5:08 am
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Message sent :)
Yesterday, soooo strange. Hours of meditation in a.m.....which
just consisted of sitting in the dissolving spa of those
vibrations that lock me/anchor me into stillness. From there,
kind of an effortless push into that signature sensation.
Thoughts arise which herald unresolved whatever....easily dumped
over the edge of event horizon into the crushing, blending,
liquifying, purifying singularity. It eats EVERYthing! :D
Bottomless pit. Then, all day at work.....this interplay of
sitting for brief moments in weird trance, bathing in that
dissolving space of awareness and then doing what needs to be
done, in small discrete parcels, throughout the day. At home,
tendency to "rest on my laurels"...watching tv overindulging a
bit with compensatory meal....I could feel the
sensation...losing the plot a bit...Ariadne's thread. So, quick
session of sitting/relaxing/acquiescing....SNAP, it's back....on
track.
This is it, I can see....this is all I do. Do what needs to be
done, as Infinity sees fit, stopping to smell the roses when
momentary pause affords...and then continue my definitive
journey into the heart of emptiness. Bonjour....bonne
nuit...all in the same breath with every expression of appearing
experience. I'll take what I can get, with every increasing
gratitude.
Thank you Jed.
#Post#: 42972--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Jed McKenna Date: May 3, 2021, 1:49 am
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Wonderful my friend.
Take care and enjoy the ride...
Much love, Jed.
#Post#: 42977--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: May 4, 2021, 10:52 am
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:D
Tally Ho!
Dream couple nights ago in which you, Jed, giving us guidance as
we’re out on a trek somewhere in Namibia. You instruct to look
for special kind of Zebra….with horizontal stripes. When found,
tell to lie down, go to sleep…then lift out of our body into the
lucid-dreaming-body…then float horizontally between the
horizontal black stripes on the body of the zebra! :D
Ridiculous!….but this is dreaming, where ridiculous lives and
breathes!. We find the absurd zebra, lay down next to and sleep
…then roll out our bodies to then float, slick as spit, between
the horizontal stripes…as instructed. We’re then transported
into another dream! Much more abstract and bizarre. Flora and
fauna practically unrecognizable compared to previous dream. On
path around a lake, there’re floating spheres of crystalline
blue water everywhere in air around us. We touch one with
finger tips…it absorbs into our bodies…cool and smooth. Rest of
dream so strange, can’t remember.
I report that to say this: over last week…every day, all day
has been filled with this pervasive smoooooth
sensation…sustained awareness. Visually akin to floating in
spherical bubble of smooth crystalline blue. Does this
resonate? Weird series of events….but there it is!
#Post#: 42979--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Jed McKenna Date: May 5, 2021, 6:13 am
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Certainly entertaining dreams. Sounds like my zebras escaped.
Much love and stay healthy,
Jed
#Post#: 43133--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: July 13, 2021, 7:17 am
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When Jed first agreed to work with me almost a year ago, I had
visions/dreams of fractal coiling/cruising/coruscating threads
of rainbow colored clear light endlessly/effortlessly expressing
amidst the infinite expanse of the void. And then, in the day,
saw the most marvelous sun dog as the light from the sun
refracted through thin veil of clouds, to become these ephemeral
spear heads of rainbow inflections demarcating the cardinal
points around the sun.
To honor that...Infinity's expression of Jed's earth-bound
inflection....here's The Rainbow Connection, by Kermit the Frog.
He'd appreciated the tongue-in-cheek of a puppet singing a
simple, heartfelt song plucked on a bango.....paying tribute to
the ineffable. That Which is Beyond our puppet bodies...the
illusion of the appearance of the world at large. We're all
muppets in the Muppet Movie...and it's a beautiful thing.
HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS3Lkc6Gzlk
HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deebKNI-dTE
In terms of me amidst the Nav series....Comms were dropped
halfway through....but, in a way, it seems appropriate somehow.
I'm Flight 19, lost and turning this way and
that....confused/disoriented....running out of fuel in the
Bermuda Triangle. I know I'm too far from land now....and that
I and my imaginary flight crew will all soon
disappear....without a trace.
#Post#: 43137--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: July 14, 2021, 9:06 am
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Anyways, enough waxing metaphorical. Time to get down to brass
tacks (oops! Sh1t, I did it again!! Oh well....I can't help it
:) )
Currently....I've become periodic psychotic...kind of a
functioning manifestation of dissociative personality disorder,
I guess, from the outside looking in (as if there's any
distinction b/w outside and inside...I must remember this!).
When indulging in "I wanna get high!!" whether reaching/grasping
for some state of forced neurotransmitter excess or for some
thing/experience out there that, in the ego thought fantasy's
perception, I want but I don't have.....then the rapid interplay
of the inevitable extremes of highs and their concomitant lows
quickly creates this state of almost near death
malaise/exhaustion/deep depression. The epitome of the
embodiment of, from seafaring Navigational vernacular....The
Doldrums. Clipper ship is stalled.....flat seas, no wind.
And.....it's painful. Deep horrific body/spirit pain that's
hard to describe.
And then, again being backed into a corner with no escape....I
give up! The intent to turn and embrace The Tao....entering
into that relaxed, empty slip stream of vanishing personal
importances which are associated with wanting more more more of
what I don't have don't have don't have...I just drop the reins
and give over to presence...silence....stillness. Pure joy and
energy and vibrancy just pours into that empty space. And I
mean, this happens within seconds! *WHHHOOOOOMPFF* Then, all
these historical scenes arise as visions...all analogous to the
impulsive compulsion of the thought inflections which compel me
to jump out of the still point/slip stream to desperately
reach/grab for forbidden fruit, so to speak.....these scenes
from my past bubble up to be vanished as well.....collapsed into
the maw of the inescapable black hole of my slip stream/still
point. When the scenes to be collapsed settle down.....I'm left
to just.....sink into this dissolving state of high frequency
vibrational stasis.....and my sense of a body....of self.....and
sense/perception of solidity of all those items composing the
setting/scene I'm sitting in.....just starts to dissolve into
this translucent fractal spray....one in which is merged with
that dissolving vibration I'm feeling. And I'm locked
in.....literally upheld and held fast. Thoughts come and go,
but the centralizing energy of dissolution just absolutely has
the upper hand, and the thoughts disappear, echoing away into
that all engulfing void space.
This goes on and on....sometimes for hours....contemplative
insights emerging and reabsorbing on their own, all
glowing/shining impressions which refer back to the
inexpressible state they emerge from. Until some impulse or
external event says, "Ok that's enough for now.....take
something of this empty slip stream state with you and move
around in this day dream for a bit". And I do....until I don't
and succumb to impulse to indulge in grasping/aversion "Please,
just a little bit more....before I'm gone....PLEASE!!". Until
that inevitably becomes unbearable and the realization that I'm
cornered and must give up once again reveals the only remaining
viable option....to become stabilized in the empty center.
Over and over and over, this interplay plays out. Part and
Counterpart (a great show, BTW, that Jed recommended at some
point). Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde revolving around each other in
this weird, psychotic dance. But Slip Stream is gaining ground,
I see.....it's stabilizing current is so
strong....compelling.....gorgeous...self promoting. I'm
captured....and, in spite of my flailing occasionally....I know
I'm going where its going. It gonna dump me into the Great Blue
Sea, one way or another. The River's got me.....all I can do is
let go as it progressively strips me to the core and aligns me
with its lines of intent, flowing down stream.
#Post#: 43175--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wishing the Wantless: 1 1/2 Half gainer into the empty hole
of the Wishing Well
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: July 28, 2021, 6:31 am
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Couple days ago, lucid dream which underscores the whole
community/no-community paradox in my impression
Pre-dawn a.m. movements/meditation/contemplation....then back to
bed to disengage while intent to hold onto awareness. Weird
surges of body vibrations then with concomitant strange,
other-worldy sounds emerge all around me which usually herald
transition to a broader state of awareness. Then....I fall
asleep.
To dream I'm living in this co-ed group home. I’m bunking with
another female my age…nothing sexual though. We’re more like
kids in an orphanage. Brother and sister. We’re goofing off in
the morning before waking. I get up and am sifting through the
closet looking at stuff the last resident left behind. There’s
this rectangular tablet computer cover which has a
charging/docking port within it. The prior tenant had “Sexy
Time” in cursive embossed along its top edge…kind of coy,
playful, tongue-in-cheek motif like sweat pants back in the day
that had “Juicy” written across the butt. We’re laughing at
this, like kids do. Lay down facing each other and I place it on
the side of my head/face, wearing it like a sideways hat or
beret for comedic effect. Later get up to go to the bathroom.
The lights don’t work. Classic dream sign. I suspect I’m
dreaming, but the dream is so real, I can’t believe it. Look at
my hands and, sure enough, the finger tps disappear, phasing in
and out like they do when I become lucid and look at them. I’m
astounded…such a clear one!
I leave the bathroom to go out into the hall…the whole group
home is empty now…all furnishings have been removed and the
whole place cleaned/polished...most of the residential furniture
has been removed...as in suspension awaiting new tenants.
Empty….silent…potential space. Feeling refreshed in the lucidity
and the silent space, I go sprinting down the hallway and slide
into the living room on the glossy hard wood floors in my socks,
a la Risky Business (dating myself, I know  ). I’m
thinking about diving through the wall at the far end to go out
and “meet the wildlife” so to speak….but then I remember my
primary directive. Collapsing dreaming layers down through the
layers, toward the singularity. So I drop the
excitement/anticipation which propels dream drama forward….and
stand gazing at the wall……and then sink into the floor and
through the "woodwork" of the surrounding details of the dream
scene to….WAKE UP!
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