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#Post#: 42597--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 4, 2020, 11:19 am
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;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) 8)
#Post#: 42598--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: No-Man Date: December 5, 2020, 10:47 pm
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I have to be burned up fully. Mind "gets it" and is slowly
surrendering. Now Body must "understand" as well. All is seen in
the light of awareness. There is fear and sorrow buried deep in
there, but at least I can see it gradually. Layer by layer.
First one coming in to view as I write this. These days my
emotions vacillate between normal and grim. Processing fear is
getting easier and somehow I see it almost as a fun exploration.
I felt great sorrow today, don't know what came over me, but it
was thankful to be released. I'm really gonna have to "die" with
no guarantee what's on the other side. But that's all right too.
#Post#: 42599--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 6, 2020, 12:10 am
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Yup... stick with it. Right through the middle is the way.
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 42600--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: No-Man Date: December 7, 2020, 5:40 pm
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From a young age, I've wanted nothing more than Freedom. Only to
just now realize that I AM it. But the mind/ego would much
rather ration it out to me conditionally. Get healthy, get
wealthy, become "something", then dole out the freedom bucks. I
set my own limits long ago, then tried to play by them for the
past decade. It's like bad habit, that's just now winding down.
BEING freedom is too much for the mind to handle.
The fears are coming much more subtly these days and clear up
almost as quick. Slept like a baby last night. I feel a subtle
undercurrent of peace more often. Ironically, the bigger fears
that felt like knot in my stomach were much easier to
anticipate, heh.
#Post#: 42601--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 7, 2020, 8:52 pm
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Sounds like progress sprinkled with wisdom to me... stick with
it.
Much love and stay healthy.
Jed
#Post#: 42604--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: No-Man Date: December 8, 2020, 9:33 pm
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Just allowing ego to mourn itself today. What a dramatic guy.
Also discovered that I am the emotions/sensations I feel. Got a
bit tired of all the non-duality vids earlier. Much prefer
comedies and cartoons.
#Post#: 42605--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 8, 2020, 9:37 pm
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Definitely no shortage of that, just look around you.
Take care,
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 42606--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: No-Man Date: December 9, 2020, 2:26 pm
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Felt something a little deeper today. I've observed the quieting
of the mind, but this time, it felt like my body quieted down
for a few seconds. Like stopped. Not frozen, but like my cells
were still. Then fear showed up again, 'cause it's not used to
something like that. I only go as far as fear allows, then
deeper once it dissipates. Can you explain such a feeling?
#Post#: 42607--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 10, 2020, 4:12 am
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Dear NM:
Well... thanks for your post, but you are not making a lot of
sense (yeh, sure, I make sense all the time).
You speak of intermittent quieting of the mind, and then want me
to fill it back up for you. Can you see that. I could give you
dozens of stories of what is happenning, but I only need say one
thing; everything you do is to avoid the nothingness that you
are. I believe Nis said that, but I have been using it for so
long that I am half-thinking it's mine, but at least that's
half-thinking and not full-thinking. Gratitude to you, Nis.
Much love, Jed.
P.S. Can you just let whatever arises arise, without need some
story or explanation? Try it.
#Post#: 42608--------------------------------------------------
Re: Coming to an End
By: No-Man Date: December 10, 2020, 8:07 pm
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Dangit, fine.
A major emotional cloud passed last night and I felt a great
clarity in the evening and some of the morning time. It felt so
clear as to be somewhat uncomfortable. Like my body would prefer
suffering! Haha!
Spent most of the afternoon and evening in observing great
confusion and turmoil. Like watching an argument between
friends; did not get involved!
Now feeling clear once again.
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