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#Post#: 45--------------------------------------------------
Mark
DIR By: Mark2
Date: August 27, 2014, 11:16 am
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Dear Jed
Thank you for setting this up. What comes up is nervousness, and
also sincerity.
My story: I did a LOT of meditating (TM and its advanced
techniques) in my 20s and 30s. I'm now mid 40s. I did it, not
to get anything, but because I loved it. I joined the
organisation and 90% of the time it was great fun. Then one day
about 15 years ago, I remember, Maharishi told a group of us
"there is only one objective in life, being, just be, that's it,
finished". I know that at that time, I had got interested in
enlightenment i.e. I had become goal oriented. I had got into
Nisargadatta, Ramesh Balsekar, Osho, Guru Gita, Ashtavakra Gita,
Yoga Vasistha. So at that time I was meditating to get
something. But when Maharishi said that sentence, it was like
the floor fell away, and to cut the story short, within a couple
of years, I was out of the TM organisation, trying to meditate
but it wasn't really happening, and unpleasantly depressed. The
whole life "mission" i.e to meditate to get enlightened and to
create world peace, had collapsed. It was pretty awful, albeit a
first world problem.
I didn't jump off a cliff, although thought about it, and then
slowly (over a couple of years) it became clear that, you only
have to do the next thing. In fact not even that, your mission
is what's happening.
So now it seems that I am still completely fascinated by the
enlightenment thing. I love Byron Katie since to me she appears
to be a great teacher. It looks like seekers can get on at any
point in their lives and find some benefit. Whether her method
will get you to be like her I don't know.
I go to see Tony Parsons quite a bit for some non compromising
non duality entertainment. He's fun.
Why am I registering on this forum? I liked your books. But I
don't get the "done" concept. I don't see how anything can ever
be finished. I don't see how you can say anything for sure,
since the next second, it can all change. So I don't see how
enlightenment can exist. Forgive me if I've misunderstood.
Please "enlighten" "me" ;)
Also, I still get this urge to "help" people, and I'm not very
good at it. I kind of think if I was going to die tomorrow, what
would I regret. The one thing would be that I didn't write that
book. One like yours. One that got people being grateful that I
wrote it. But I haven't done it because those books have already
been written, so I'd just be recycling. So not yet.
I see that this is all a story, sometimes it seems real,
sometimes not, and again, not in my control. I don't see what
else is possible. If I'm missing something, do tell me.
Thanks Jed
Mark
#Post#: 73--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mark
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 27, 2014, 11:41 pm
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Hi Mark:
Thanks for sharing. Now, the gritty party. Tell me exactly what
you want, and I don't want any stories, I want specifics.
Contemplate and remember, humor me with specifics.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 452--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mark
DIR By: Mark2
Date: September 3, 2014, 9:21 am
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Dear Jed
Apologies for the delay in replying. I wanted to let your
question sink in since on the face of it I wasn't clear on the
motive for entering into this communication with you.
My immediate thought was that I didn't have any "stored up"
desires like freedom, enlightenment, or TR. Desires come up but
they seem to be 99% short term - "go for a walk", "make a cup of
tea" etc.
But then I noticed a pattern where desires come up that don't
fall into that category. And they are the ones which normally
contain an energy of wanting to possess, and sometimes an energy
of wanting to repel.
Specifically, actual desires for:
•
really!))
•
cornering, high speed, fresh air, at one with the machine)
•
wife would be upset and I don’t want that, but but -- conflict!)
•
dyeing my hair which is starting to grey)
•
done".
Intellectually I understand that these desires arise and that
I'm not the author of them but that doesn't stop me wondering
whether it's possible to be rid of them, without being dead!
It’s also slightly confusing since desiring is sometimes ok (fun
even) but more often it feels like a weight or an itch that
won't go away.
Mark
#Post#: 458--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mark
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 3, 2014, 11:28 am
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I take it your questions is can you get ride of all these desire
without dying. Well, I wish I knew about the Rolex earlier. I
had one and pretty much gave it away, kept terrible time, highly
over rated IMHO.
So, back to your desires. Start small. Take a minor one and just
watch it. Then alternately resist it as best you can and then
welcome it as best you can. Perhaps just let it be. Do you
notice anything about the intensity of it? Does it change during
this experience. Remember, only little ones and then get back to
me.It can be subtle.
Just a point, you cannot experience anything without resisting
it.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 467--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mark
DIR By: Mark2
Date: September 3, 2014, 12:31 pm
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ok will do
that last point you made is quite the curveball
#Post#: 1004--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mark
DIR By: Mark2
Date: September 11, 2014, 9:51 am
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Ok Jed I have given this one week.
Following your suggestion, what I noticed was that each time I
remembered to do this, the following happened:
Desire was there. Sometimes it spurred some action, sometimes
not. But it was not like I was aware of the desire as in "I am
aware/watching this". It was just there. THEN afterwards would
come a thought "Oh yes, lets do that thing Jed suggested". Then
either I couldn't remember the desire or if I did remember it
and try to do anything with it as per your suggestion, there is
no power in the thing. Its just an empty thought.
I could conclude therefore that "working on" desires themselves
is pointless, a bit like trying to fix the movie by walking up
to the screen and attempting to adjust the images. Maybe there
is an effective way i.e - change the film, stop the film and
reshoot parts or all, or switch off the player (this last one
sounds like death).
I am open as always to assumptions I have made, blind spots I
may have missed.
Thank you Jed
#Post#: 1067--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mark
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 13, 2014, 10:53 pm
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Hi Mark:
I think you basic assumption is there is a you that can get
something or go somewhere. Have you ever had any success in
finding 'you'.
Love ya, Jed.
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