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#Post#: 42239--------------------------------------------------
After the accident... a brief story
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 26, 2020, 5:31 am
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Dear Member:
The admonitions of Nis were very consistent in that a student
should follow the trail of the ‘I am’. His works were translated
into English and a subtle but important point was skipped over.
There is more than one, I am. In reality, at the human level,
there is something over seven billion of them. At the level of
Truth, there is only One… I AM. I have raise this point in
previous Rants, but you will soon see the importance of it as I
rant on.
The are two ways of realizing your dream nature and escaping the
tread-mill of humanity. The first way is very rare. It is almost
always precipitated by some kind of traumatic event, physical or
sometimes drug induced. Most of the time is seems that our
‘subject’ has not had much in the way of ‘spiritual’ studies
under their belt. It’s like a personal thermo-nuclear device
went off and then one is left alone to clean up the pieces.
Sadly, suicide or institutionalization often follows.
The second type of awakening arises in the student who has a
general idea of where they are going and has made some efforts
as, I am sure, you yourself have. It’s much more gentle and from
the dream perspective, safer.
The end points are the same, but the methods are obviously very
different. However, for this rant I am going to start my
explanation from the point of view of the first method. I feel
that working back from the traumatic event/realization will be a
novel way to approach the unexplainable. Let’s do a little
thought experiment.
You can pick you own trauma as your imaginary starting point. It
might be a life threatening drug overdose, an incredible LSD,
DMT, a toad or vine experience, perhaps a horrific accident or
illness and the subsequent NDE. So, before going any further,
pick a juicy one. Of course, you can make it up. You are not
going to go through the nasty stuff because we are beginning
from the point of you coming out of the experience and returning
back to this human dream.
Imagine you have experienced the most blissful state possible.
You entered a state of pure velvety blackness and love beyond
your imagination. You experienced acceptance like you could
never imagine. You realized that you, a person, have absolutely
no existence, all is a dream. You get that you have never done
anything. You had an experience of not-twoness that was all
embracing and loving, you had a deep experience of nothing and
everything and, while a little misty because you are just coming
around, your ‘soul’ has been tattooed with the wonder of that
experience. Next comes the hard part, integration.
After that unimaginable ‘WTF-was-that-experience’, you are
expected by society, friends, husband, wife, children and work
mates, to merrily pop back into the dream as if nothing had
happened. Quite understandably, no one understands you. Your
doctor offers you psych meds but you know they are not the
answer. You turn to Youtube and find nothing but Pablum being
spewed by people who, obviously to you, have no idea of the
depth and breadth of your experience. You write copious notes in
an effort to recreate, undo, understand… you don’t even know why
you write, but it doesn’t help. And that tattoo continues like a
splinter in your mind. Stop for a moment and try to imagine the
immensity of this challenge.
Out of frustration and at the end of your rope, you decide,
rather creatively, to start at the end of your ‘mystical’
experience and walk back in order to make some sense out of it.
Perhaps in doing so, you will be able to integrate better into
society. And, so begins your journey.
You start by recalling the event as best you can and wonder what
you would do if you were that wondrous ‘I AM’ end point. You
realize this is going to be a heck of a challenge, but
everything else has failed. You know in your heart that it’s all
you in Reality, but you put yourself in a ‘what if’ frame of
mind by asking yourself, ‘Now, if I were that thingy, what would
I do? What would be my next step?’.
From the perspective of total nothingness embracing everything,
you decide the only thing left to do would to be to play, to set
up some kind of a game. How would that look?
From the perspective of your Ultimate Experience, you don’t know
that you are everything and nothing. You have nothing to compare
yourself to. After all, if you already are everything, all
knowing and such other good stuff has no context within which to
be held and understood, you have nothing to contrast yourself
with. So you wonder, ‘What next? Yup, gotta create a game of
some kind. As ‘Everything’, I could use a little entertainment’.
Perhaps a game that involved creating some illusion that would
let me (as Truth) experience a degree of separation or
distinctness. Remember, don’t get too wrapped up in this, it’s
just a thought experiment, perhaps.
Giving it a little more thought, something that Truth can’t do,
you realize that things spontaneously arise in ‘You’. Using your
imagination, you come up with the idea of a spontaneous arising
of something called ‘consciousness’. There you go, you have a
start. You define it as ‘that which is conscious of something’.
Hardly worth of Encyclopedia Britannica (you are getting on in
years) but it works for you.
From consciousness you track your game plan along and figure
that consciousness must have something to be consciousness of.
Without that, it wouldn’t be aware of anything. Hmmm.. aware….
let’s make up something for the next step and call it
‘awareness’. Sounds like a plan.
Next, you wonder where your game should be located. It seems to
you that such things as consciousness and awareness would be
impossible to contain. You propose that your game locates them
both at each and every point in the universe.
Oops, you forgot about that ‘universe’ thing. Well, seeing that
you are appearing more and more like a raving lunatic, you just
imagine a universe… as difficult as it might appear to those
‘normals’ out there, you are coming from a ‘new normal’ and
infinite thinking is no problem for the new you. You might even
begin to delight at the fun of all this.
As this whole game is being set up in order to entertain the
Mystery, Void, Truth, or whatever (you have yet to settle on a
moniker) it requires a player or players. You decide that your
game has to be big, infinite in fact, because Nothing is capable
of entertaining a lot of entertainment. Looking around, you
notice that there already seems to be a rather large number of
players already on one field. They call themselves ‘humans’. Why
not use them? Perhaps they are an artifact from some previous
game. ‘Quite convenient’ you think. For present purposes, you
limit the playing field to the thing called earth. Also,
conveniently available.
At this point your game is almost ready for roll-out, but every
game has to have rules. You decide on the following:
1.)
2.)
3.)
they further entrap them in the game.
A game wouldn’t be a game without referees. Their task is to:
1.)
2.)
has boundaries
3.)
players.
You decide to label the referees ‘Agents’ and individually name
them as government, education, laws, etc. Collectively, they are
called Agents of Maya, after a dog a friend once had.
Things are going quite swimmingly for you as you consider the
advertising revenues you will be generating. Forget football,
hockey and baseball. You are going to capture massive audiences
and make bank, oh yeh, big time! You come up with a project
management plan to enroll and collect funds, ostensibly for
distribution to the poor, yeh sure, but that is also part of the
game. You call that particular Agent ‘The Church’. It ends up
becoming a very big source of ‘policing’.
The players of your game appear to be very competent at creating
limiting rules. They create things they call ‘beliefs’, such as
reincarnation, karma, heaven and hell, miracles, saints and
sinners, politics, Gods, etc., and, while only beliefs, they are
all too real for the players. They are taken as real because the
players have been effectively shielded from their origin, their
True Nature, and the referee is very good at making sure game
rules are followed to the letter.
Rolling out the game is as simple and spontaneous as your
original experience of Trauma Triggered Wholeness. But you miss
something important… very, very important. You forget you
created the game. Call it old age, perhaps getting a little
dotty, maybe the trauma, but darn it, you forgot that it’s your
game. Now you find yourself right smack in the middle of it. You
shoehorned you way back into society and your job as an
insurance adjuster and now are pretending the whole thing never
happened.
Eighteen dull months pass and something a little exciting
happens. You step into the path of a police car racing to a
gathering of players who are delighting in rioting, a natural
outgrowth of your game rules and currently in vogue. You were on
your cell-phone and if it wasn’t for a kid playing on the other
side of the road shouting at you to ‘Watch out!’ you would be
back in the situation you were seeking to return to. Your heart
began beating fast and your past experience of Wonder (the
moniker you finally settled on) flashed brilliantly upon you. It
was there and gone in an instant, but it was enough to awaken
that splinter in your brain and give you a massive headache.
At the end of that day’s work, and more than a few Advils, you
decide that the way out of ‘your’ game, which due to todays
close call you are now very aware of, would be to reverse
engineer it. Starting from the present moment, you set out to
journey back to Wonder.
It’s a pleasantly quiet evening, nothing going on, as usual. You
sit down and start asking questions of yourself. Your game has
left a trail and you pick up the scent. It always comes back to
‘you’, back to a ‘me’ who appears to be playing. You focus as
hard as you can on ‘me’ and then ‘I’. Nothing happens.
Every night, with the family all in bed, you come back to that
‘I’ thought. It evolves, but only a little, into the sense that
‘I am’, the sense that ‘I exist’. Questioning further and using
your, ahem… piercing logic, you conclude that something has to
be telling you that you exist, otherwise you wouldn’t know. As
you move your hand over the arm of your chair you realize that
it must be the fact that you can sense things. That’s it! Your
five senses tell you that you are, that I exist! Brilliant, you
think.
Another couple of weeks pass and your headaches are reduced
commensurate with your Advil supply. You find yourself wondering
how you know that you have sensing capabilities. They are
marvelous and mysterious. In order to sense them, you arrive at
the conclusion that ‘you’ must be sensing and you find yourself
back at the beginning, that sense of ‘I existing’. Your
determination suffers a little, but not enough to stop the
journey.
After another week, the concept of awareness pops into your
mind. In order for you to be sensing something, there must be
‘awareness’ somewhere in the equation. But you are cautious
because you went down a blind alley before. You can’t find
awareness in a literal sense, but you’re sure that it does
exist.
You twist and turn you mind until you get a sense of
‘awareness’. You carefully eliminate what appears in awareness
and focus on awareness itself, pure and simple, but not easy.
You end up going to bed with another headache. Perhaps you have
a brain tumor and are slowly going insane. You find the thought
strangely comforting.
Your dreams that night assist you in the next step. You dream
about a giant ladder and how each step is totally dependent upon
there being a prior step. Any missing step and it fails to
function as a ladder. You wake up very early in the morning
wondering how ‘awareness’ came to know that it is.
Work really dragged that day as you were eager to get back to
what really mattered most to you. Upon consulting your spasmodic
scribblings, you conclude: it all started with ‘I’ and moved on
to a sense of ‘I am’. Then the concept of ‘awareness’ arose,
almost as a necessity for progress. Now you are at the stage of…
what? Remembering the ladder dream, you review the steps and
figure out that awareness must have a step above it.
Progress slows up a little as you reflect upon how awareness is
aware…. how does it know that it is? Something must inform
awareness that is it aware. After all, awareness informed me
that I am. A larger concept than awareness was called for, a
step higher than awareness. Could that step be ‘consciousness’?
There was only one way to find out. You plug it into your
mental, and now spiritual, machinations and it fills the bill.
You find yourself with no more headaches and an Indiana Jone’s
sense of adventure. A treasure called Wonder is just over the
horizon, or is it?
Your intense search has now cost you a year of evenings. Family
relations are wearing thin. Despite the fact that the local riot
and property damage resulting from frustrated players ignorant
of the real rules has been making your job as insurance adjuster
more and more important, to you it was becoming less and less
important. Something has to give.
Another dream come to the rescue. In fact, you seem to be living
more and more in your dreams than out of them. In your dream,
you are playing poker, a game that you don’t care for. The
reason appears clearly to you. It’s because you don’t like
rules. You have grown to be quite the rebel. In your dream you
begin to bend the rules… some players get angry and accuse you
of breaking the rules. They don’t bother you and you calmly
reply… ‘I am making up new rules’. The players grumble and the
dream game continues until one player freaks, pulls out a gun
and shoots you. His last words where clear amid the smoke. He
screamed, ‘You broke the first rule’.
Startled awake by the loud bang, which subsequently turned out
to be the cat knocking an antique cigarette lighter off the
dresser (in all the stress you took up smoking) you found
yourself riveted on that last utterance. What was the ‘first
rule’? Indeed, you do feel like you have broken a rule, but at
this stage in your life you feel quite strongly that rules were
made to be broken. Nothing like a rebellious insurance adjustor.
Just remember to get him on your side.
What was it about these dreams? It seemed that the further up
the ladder you went, the more you had to turn to your dreams for
answers. You feel like you have to dream your way out of your
human dream.
Then it hit you like a brick. But this time it wasn’t in a
dream. It was in a memory from childhood. You were about six
years old and subjected to harassment by some weirdo ghost under
your bed. He would always reach out and try to grab your feet as
you ran and jumped into bed to avoid him.
You clearly remember telling your mother about it, and in a
rather un-motherly manner, loving as she was, she brushed you
aside with, ‘Oh, you made it all up, all of it’. As a child, the
sense of responsibility for it ‘all’ was crushing. As an adult
it was the key to ultimate liberation. It reminded you of the
game you had created and your ‘first rule’, i.e., The goal of
the game is to escape the game.
It took you another month of evening contemplations to realize
that saying and doing were very different. You finally ‘got’
that in order to win your own game, you couldn’t take anything
with you. Travelling up to Wonder with the slightest attachment
would be like trying to get a Swiss Army knife through TSA. It
just isn’t going to fly.
You sink back a little in the thought of ‘yes, it can be done,
and indeed, I can do it’. You start small by giving up smoking.
That proved to be easy enough. Next you….
Wait a minute! This is just a thought experiment. Supposedly
‘your’ thought experiment, with a little hijacking from me. I’m
passing the reins to you. Share or not… I wish you the best
journey possible from I am to I AM… back to Wonder.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 42240--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: Roguish Date: August 26, 2020, 5:44 am
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Your post opens with "the admonitions of Nis".
Who is Nis? Are we talking about the Danish goblin?
HTML https://pantheon.org/articles/n/nis.html
#Post#: 42241--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 26, 2020, 6:08 am
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Hi R:
Thanks for your post, Nis is an abbreviation for Nisagardatta
Maharaj. He is deseased now, but possibly the worlds greatest
teacher on the current subject. Plenty of Youtube material on
him.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 42242--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: SteppingStone Date: August 26, 2020, 6:18 am
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This game of creating illusion of some kind of separation after
realizing the wholeness of great I-AM will be like "egg [small I
am] evolving itself into Hen [great I-AM] and Hen devolving
ItSelf into egg again." The sole purpose of game will be to keep
the show going on and on without any possible stagnation. It
will be sort of game of a Divine hide and seek OR it will be
like cat playing with her own tail. In mystic perspective, it
will be "Stillness playing with its own movements." This is just
an opinion, which might be over-simplification of the original
thoughts presented above by the worthy Jed.
#Post#: 42243--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: Roguish Date: August 26, 2020, 7:15 am
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[quote author=Jed McKenna link=topic=1997.msg42241#msg42241
date=1598440137]
Nis is an abbreviation for Nisagardatta Maharaj.
[/quote]
Oh, I see. Kinda like calling the Queen of England "Liz".
Anyway, I know Nisargadatta Maharaj. I'm thinking I might take
my chances with the goblin though...
#Post#: 42244--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 26, 2020, 8:06 am
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Your over-simplification is just fine, at least I got you
thinking about it.
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 42245--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 26, 2020, 8:07 am
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I didn't think of Liz, but I would take goblins over her any
day.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 42246--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: Parsley Date: August 26, 2020, 12:46 pm
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Thank you!
It's like a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream
within...
I had to laugh out loud about the joke: "... they are called
Agents of Maya, after a dog a friend once had." :D
(what was first, egg or hen?). Well done!
I (the dreamt character) confess that I am breaking rule 1). I
am used to do so.
All the comparison with others who do the same and all
attachments to whatever is like disfocussing from rule 1).
It's somehow delivering to see it this way and that I can stop
the resistance to what all the absurdities of life "want" to
lead me to (like a benevolent virus) . No reason to fight
because this means to fight and ignore rule 1).
Escaping from the game?
It's about dying. Dying and staying alive!
How is that possible? Is it possible to live totally unattached
and grateful?
Hm, what can NOT be possible in an infinite dream?
#Post#: 42249--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: SteppingStone Date: August 26, 2020, 11:48 pm
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Dear New Member:
I am much more interested in your journey and your experiences.
This is on place where talking about yourself is not only
permitted, it's all I want to here. You are not here to assist
anyone other than yourself and your Self.
Much love and stay healthy.
Jed.
#Post#: 42251--------------------------------------------------
Re: After the accident... a brief story
By: anthropisces Date: August 27, 2020, 12:14 am
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I've tested the boundaries of the game to see if the stories
about consequences hold true. They don't. There's an outcome but
it isn't the outcome that the society is chanting about.
So for example the society, the government, the church, what
have you, is chanting that if one is tardy for work that they
will lose their job. But what is chanted is much more elaborate
than that. The chant goes on to describe the results of the job
loss; there will be less money, less food, reduced health, loss
of home, loss of loved ones and loss of one's place in the
society.
But then if one tests this by being ambivalent about their
arrival time at work the outcomes do not match those simple
stories. The job loss may occur, but the outcomes will be
dramatically different.
I've tested the game in this way, probably much more
aggressively than most, and the testing has never failed to
illuminate the miraculous at play and to destroy the mundane.
Testing the boundaries of the game has a "stepping off the
cliff" feeling to it though and its not something I do all day
every day. Wish I did though.
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must
close his eyes and walk in the dark.”
― St. John of the Cross
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