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#Post#: 42187--------------------------------------------------
Struggle/Surrender
By: anybritt Date: August 18, 2020, 5:32 pm
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Here I thought in the last few years of struggle I’d made some
progress only to realize I haven’t even begun.
It’s the surrender thing.
I’ve proven beyond reasonable doubt that I will always struggle
if left to my own devices. NO MATTER what those devices are. I
do not know what is best for me. My preferences lead me in
circles and I end up in the same place. And lately a panic sets
in as I see this more clearly because there’s no going back to
the things I already crossed off the list (alcohol, sex, love,
whatever), I cannot stay where I am (I would really rather die),
and I am too exhausted to get up and try it my way again. I’ve
finally given up hope.
And you know what, that feels like actual progress.
My question, how do I keep fueling that inner little bastard to
keep going?
#Post#: 42190--------------------------------------------------
Re: Struggle/Surrender
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 19, 2020, 12:14 am
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What do you mean by 'crossed of the list'? What's wrong with
alcohol, sex and love... in moderation of course. You see, these
are not the problem. You have attached importances to things of
the dream. The reality is you have made them important when they
are just glitter on the diamond. Thus missing the point. Your
mind cannot entertain a negative so attaching such things is
really quite silly and will indeed result in you wasting you
human energy, as you mentioned.
Set out to not eat chocolate cake, when, at the end of the day
you find yourself full of deserts in the evening, and the first
thing you will think of in the morning is chocolate cake. This
is why diets fail. I will not (fill in the blank) is an embedded
command to the mind to 'X' because the mind cannot think of 'not
X'.
You don't want to resist alcohol, sex and love, you need to
realize that they don't matter, you need to release your
importances around those issues. I remember years ago, a
therapist who treated alcoholics and upon completion of his
treatment the would test his work. They would both go out for a
beer and then go home. Now that is what I would call a cure.
Yes, you will always struggle if left to your own devices. It's
the old set up, upset, set up, upset and your mind is wasting
valuable energy majoring in minors, making mountains out of mole
hills, and whatever other metaphors you can come up with.
Everything you do is to avoid the nothing that you are. You
think that beating up you human tendencies will give you some
kind of freedom when all you are doing is bringing in a
construction company to assemble more re-bar and pour more
concrete around your feed.
But, don't let my berating bring you down. Accept that it's
hopeless and your mind is not the place that a solution lies.
Thinking is the problem and you have spent way too much energy
thinking and too little doing non-doing, just being.
I am indeed glad to hear you have given up hope because all hope
is false hope. Relax and let everything be however it appears.
Why? Because it's not real. When invest you energy in changing
what it not real.
Do you have my Full Body Breathing tape? Write me at
cambodianashram@gmail.com if you don't and I will send it. It's
a good start and many students are enjoying it, free of course.
Much love and now it might be time to give up, to put down all
your mentally derived 'weapons' and just let yourself experience
a little peace.
Stay healthy,
Jed.
#Post#: 43252--------------------------------------------------
Re: Struggle/Surrender
By: Pavel Date: January 3, 2022, 8:04 pm
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Jed, good day. I recently made my first film. In the process of
creating it, I tried to distance myself from my personal desire
and let the process take over. As a result, I got a pretty good
movie - some parts came out especially well. However, I noticed
a lot of flaws in the part where I resisted the creation
process. So I have a question. How can this friction be
minimized so that the process runs more smoothly?
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