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#Post#: 42225--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 21, 2020, 11:25 am
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Back at you, my friend.
#Post#: 42432--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Kieran Date: September 28, 2020, 4:52 am
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Hi Jed
As promised in my last communication, I am still doing the work,
but very slowly.
I got distracted with Alan Watts, Krishnamurti, et. al, and
learning about Buddhist meditation.
I’d hoped to find some techniques that would amplify my focus on
the autolysis.
Sadly I seemed to just get distracted collected fingers that
point to the moon while not getting to see it for myself.
I was a bit desperate. My mental state has been somewhat
unbearable.
My body has been weakening in unison with this feeling of
collapse. I’ve lost weight.
I don’t know how much is just poor health as happens to most
people at some point in their lives, or if it is linked to the
earth shattering effects this endeavour can take.
I could really do with some help with the autolysis process.
What was yours like?
Did you write statements about, say, historical events? Then
study them to the nth degree only to discover they weren’t as
‘true’ as you’d thought? Did you undergo this kind of thing
until you could no longer think of questions to topics to ‘fact
check’?
Was it more a noting down of your own general philosophies about
the world? Did you study a point of view through the wisdom of
the men and women of ages, until you felt you’d made a dead end?
My best guess so far is to make a bullet point list of topics
that feel a bit ‘sticky’ to me. As Alan Watts describes them,
‘hang ups’. I want to come back in and examine these as much as
I can.
I have considered writing letters to people I have ‘hang ups’
with, while having no intention of sending them.
I started out trying Julie’s tactic of writing letters to you,
as a form of autolysis, but I never know what to say to you.
You are a Buddha I’ve yet to slay as my teacher so there may be
some feeling of intimidation or reverence that impedes me.
I have returned to reading Damndest again, and it feels a bit
like a cosy warm blanket, but I don’t want it to be a habitual
thing I do when I desire to feel I’m making progress.
Put simply, I want your help so that I can behead you as my
teacher. I’m not playing for fun any more.
Sorry for the long message. I hope my very rudimentary writing
ability hasn’t scrambled your brain and made your eyes cross
over. Know that our conversations here are a great pleasure for
me. Go well, friend.
Kieran
#Post#: 42439--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Jed McKenna Date: September 29, 2020, 10:37 pm
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Hi Keiran:
Good to hear from you and thanks for sharing. I will share the
essence of the process.
Autolysis is surprisingly simple and when done properly you only
need to write one thing that is true.
So, I might write that 'I am in a restaurant eating breakast'. I
follow up with 'Is that true?' and from there I burrow as deep
as I can into that one purported truth. On the surface, I
concede that is does appear to be true... but is it really? And
here is where the crux of the matter lies. If you question the
truth of your statement long enough and deeply enough... you
will find that something quite unusual happens. This is not
something that is done in a moment (usually)... you have to dig
and dig and dig... 'Is that really true?'.... you keep asking
youself and when you do it enough, you will realize that it's
not true. It might appear true, but it is not.
You have to take this to a rediculous level to make headway. Is
that previous sentence true? Is any sentence True? Persistence
and patience in large amounts is called for.
Any understanding on mental level is not going to be of
muchvalue. On a mental level, I can say to myself 'Well, nothing
is really true' but that is very shallow. You must seek a gut
level experience that nothing is true... absolutely nothing.
Yes, it might appear that various things are true from time to
time, but that is just Maya convincing you that this dream is
real... and it ain't.
Much love and don't give up,
Jed.
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