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#Post#: 41989--------------------------------------------------
Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Kieran Date: July 28, 2020, 4:26 am
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Has anybody else had that experience on this journey?
The sincere feeling of observing a stranger in the mirror,
during a time of new awakening to reality?
As I find the veil between truth and dream state getting thin, I
feel quite strange about my physicality and the idea that there
is some kind of tangible representation of a me that doesn’t
exist. Like when I’m talking to someone I don’t want to say
“what are you looking at?!” So much as “who is it you are
looking at”!
#Post#: 41998--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 30, 2020, 1:49 am
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Dear K:
Thank you for sharing your experience. I have a question for
you. Why do you want to know if others have had the same
experience? Now, don't get me wrong, I encourage sharing, it's
all entertainment anyways. However, concern about other folks
sharing experiences is something I would avoid. You have your
experiences and they have theirs... focus on you and you alone.
Whatever arises as experience is very impermanent. All
experiences have a beginning, middle and end... Truth doesn't.
Focus on that.
And, if you like sharing, then that is what the forum is for....
share, get it off you chest and move on, further....
Love ya and stay healthy.
Jed.
#Post#: 42000--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Kieran Date: July 30, 2020, 3:31 am
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I suppose I’m partly sharing what seemed like a ‘glitch in the
matrix’ moment I found entertaining.
I think part of my ‘further’ now lies in exploring physicality.
For some reason, the idea of the spirit being a drop that is
also the ocean, is easier for me to ‘get’ without adding in the
concept that the drop lives in a container. And what does it
mean to be a drop, an ocean, and a strange looking container.
Sorry if I seem vague or muddled. Is this the mind/body
conundrum I’ve heard of? I don’t rightly know what I am. That
doesn’t stop ‘me’ feeling weird when my awareness notices things
that I’d confidently assumed to be ‘me’ in the physical realm,
such as ‘my’ reflection in the mirror.
Now the me, the awareness of a me, and the idea of a physical
realm are getting really soupy. Not necessarily a bad thing,
Just waaayy out there.
In Spiritual Warfare, or Dreamstate, I can’t recall which, you
mention the universe’s non-existence being one of the simple
truths. Or words to that effect. I’m wondering if/how this
effects us drop-of-ocean-in-container types. Where these
containers reside if not in the universe. Are ‘we’ somewhere’,
and/or nowhere?
See what I mean about soupy?
#Post#: 42001--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 30, 2020, 6:04 am
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I suggest you gently contemplate everywhere and nowhere...
everything and nothing... or just dwell on however you can
conceive of 'infinity'. You are on the right track and I do
appreciate the work you are doing (appear to be doing).
Much love
Jed.
#Post#: 42010--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Kieran Date: July 30, 2020, 3:15 pm
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There isn’t much that feels gentle about this process at the
moment. The inside ‘story’ wants to take over and get all
cerebral whenever it can, assuring that it is still in control
while things under the surface get wobbly. The ‘story’ wants
this whole experience labelled, categorised, filed away and
taken care of so it can resume normal operations.
I will remember your advice about gentle contemplation whenever
my awareness catches ‘me’ trying to ‘achieve’ enlightenment,
while the ‘story’ tries to pull me back in.
I feel like Dave in 2001 Space Odyssey, trying to disconnect the
HAL9000, removing a processor at a time, HAL slows down and gets
scared and disoriented... begging Dave to stop and assuring that
things will be different from now on if he’ll just let HAL live.
Except the CPU room is ‘me’. And Dave is, well, I don’t know.
The DAMNDEST thing.
#Post#: 42012--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 31, 2020, 2:51 am
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Dear Dave:
Thanks for sharing and you great analogy.
Love ya,
Jed... (with a few of my own processors missing)
#Post#: 42033--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Kieran Date: August 2, 2020, 9:34 pm
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Hi Jed
I’m starting to understand, as I contemplate that I can’t ever
really have a true attachment to my kids, that I can’t ever
really be attached to anything ever. At first my mind fought
this, ‘Of COURSE I’m attached to my children, their my KIDS for
goodness sake!’, but then a kind of a peace came. The idea that
I should be able to have fun, in my character within the
dreamstate, interacting with their characters and quirks and
charms... but ultimately we are not in any real form of
attachment. This is a good thing for me I think. Does this sound
on the right track?
A second thing I hope you could take a look at with me, since
you are very kind with your time in responding to my
ramblings... is pain. I don’t yet see how material existence
doesn’t exist, or that it’s ‘false’. If I’m making a chicken
coop and hit my thumb with a hammer (true story), I don’t think
Ooh that awareness/appearance thing sure is a trip, I think
ARRGGHH. Is that true because it isn’t changing? Each time I do
that I will experience some amount of AARGH...
If Pain is true, is pain the only ‘true’ part of the material
world? Or is it simply more appearance? It seems a very
different thing to ‘emotional’ pain which I can instantly credit
to ego. Physical pain doesn’t feel that same way. SOrry if this
is confusing.
K
#Post#: 42041--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 3, 2020, 8:42 pm
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That's definitely what I would call the right track... should
there be such a thing.
Physical and emotional pain are illusion to the Real You, but to
that little you, they are a very real and durable illusion.
As Nis said on his death bed, words to the effect that, 'Yes,
there is great pain, but no one here to feel it'.
You are doing well on 'your' path and one day you will realize
that all paths are false because you are already at you
destination, indeed, YOU are your destination.
Much love and keep on making chicken coops.
Jed
#Post#: 42089--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Kieran Date: August 11, 2020, 11:05 pm
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Hi Jed.
I decided to take some time with your last advice to me, rather
than keep firing posts at you. Gently contemplate everything and
nothing, you suggested. I strapped in for the roller coaster,
and it definitely began to move as I meditated on this. Then it
seemed to shunt and halt.
I’ve been doing a fair bit of journaling/autolysis as I go and I
noted that at the point the roller coaster stopped, monkey
chatter began to kick in pretty solidly. I started waking each
day remembering some vivid dream about people I’ve known, when I
don’t normally ever remember dreams. I’ve caught myself running
memories through in the backrooms of my mind, barely noticeable,
but unmissable once I realised. I’ve seen into how empty my
‘future’ seems, when I know it isn’t really real. I haven’t
resisted any of this, since that seems to be another pointless
venture. I have noticed it, and done my best to just let it
pass. But it is eating at me still.
If I didn’t know better, using a Jed-ism, It’s almost like Maya
got my divorce papers and is trying to lure me back into the
game. It was tempting to see all this as back-sliding after what
felt like a genuine step forward, but I’m guessing that’s not
really how things happen? Do I just keep gently contemplating
despite the road-side attraction/distraction? I’m not sure if
I’m stumped as to what to do next, or if I’m blind to what’s
right in front of me. It’s a bit like I’m tied to a chair while
Maya tortures me for answers, and she won’t believe me that I
don’t know anything, and so I can’t get out.
Go well,
Kieran
#Post#: 42093--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reaaaally strange experience looking in a mirror
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 12, 2020, 12:23 am
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Yes, it is like a lot of marriages... start out with a dream and
end up with... fill in the blank.
Oh well... onwards and upwards.
Much love, Jed.
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