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#Post#: 41939--------------------------------------------------
zombie's have feelings too
By: Jon Osterman Date: July 17, 2020, 12:44 am
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Before realization I thought people were awesome. I loved
meeting new people and talking endlessly with them....about
their beliefs, their perspectives on various topics, etc.
{After} realization people mostly just annoy me. Not for no good
reason, mind you. People only want something from you, if they
don't get what they want from you they either ignore you
(preferable) or distain you. Not that I mind being the subject
of distain but for practical and very pragmatic reasons
sometimes it does matter. For example when you live or work with
someone, family members that you can't in good conscious
completely tune out without becoming the **** or hurting them.
I've found that for the most part, people are a burden. They are
constantly unhappy, unsatisfied, always looking for something to
be upset about...which is fine....if they didn't burden me with
their misery. Before realization I was a social person, nowadays
I go as far out of my way as possible to avoid them. I wonder if
anyone here or Jed himself can relate and can offer advice on
how to properly deal with zombies without chopping their heads
off....or hurting their feelings. Cheers! ;D
#Post#: 41940--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 17, 2020, 3:04 am
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Hi Jon:
You are experiencing something that almost everyone goes through
at some stage... and while I hold the Bible in deep disregard,
that doesn't mean I hesitate to use it when it suits me. My
licentious abuse follows:
If you want to be able to cope or get through this 'stage', then
''Forgive them, they know not what they do'' holds very true for
those around you. If you, in the alternative, feel like
secreting yourself away in a tropical paradise (what I did),
then go for it. Your loved ones will manage and if they don't,
so what? You have to be very clear on where and on whom
responsibility lies. I realize it sounds a little harsh but you
are the one currently being harsh on yourself. If you want to
stick it out for a while, nothing wrong with that either, but I
am going to tell you straight up, if you do not forgive, release
and let go of your impatience (or whatever you want to call it)
you are a far bigger problem to them than a solution. Stick
around and continue with your story of their sad inadequacies
and the future is full of (standard operating procedure) a
family or social circle that hates pretty much everything in and
about it. I think we already have enough of that, but I could be
wrong.
As Byron Katie very wisely points out, you can't hurt anyone,
you just aren't that powerful. Their stories of how things
should be (when they are not) is what hurts them. And following
on her wonderful work with the corollary: its 'YOUR' story about
how things should be that is causing your frustration and grief.
You expect things, events, people or experiences to be other
than they appear to be, you still think this is real and you are
some kind of person.
Ohhhhh yeh, well... I'm not sure what you 'realized' but there
is still a pretty big you who wants to be on top of some kind of
mountain, but it's pretty stinky up there alone. Do you really
think you know how things and other 'should' be, and I am dead
serious about this. How do you know what they need to do,
experience, go through and the like. Don't you think it's just
smidgen arrogant to think you have any idea at all how this
dream is to unwind, FOR THEM?
If you are still reading this (maybe?) then let me continue... I
have gone through all of it (I know I sound arrogant, but just
put up with me for a moment). I seriously doubt that you can
come up with anything new.... and I had my fill of all those
people and events that I assume you refer to. Running away was
no solution for me. Resolving, solving and after many years,
then running away worked best, but my solution my not be yours
of course.
You decide what you want to do and be what I call
''constructively selfish'' (and this applies to women more than
men). If you don't nurture and take (reasonable) care of 'you'
then you are a hollow empty drone with nothing to offer another
other than shallow repetitious drivel, exactly the thing that is
driving you crazy.
I conclude with a 'thank you' for listening to me. I didn't
provide any specific remedy and perhaps jump around quite a bit
in an effort to shake you up, which, in my hallucination, is
what you need in the moment... but remember, I know nothing as
the good Sargent would say:
HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmzsWxPLIOo
Love ya and wish you the best.
Jed.
#Post#: 41945--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jon Osterman Date: July 17, 2020, 10:15 pm
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Yes, everything you've said is what I've already felt to be
true. I don't like the idea of retreat, I prefer to conquer, so
running off to the mountains (while appealing on it's own
accord) is out of the question. I like the chaos of people, I
just don't like feeling guilty for not sympathizing with their
tedious drama. I literally cannot do it and I am unable to hide
that fact and the fallout is almost all consuming. Mind you, I
never say things like this directly to people because it's rude
and arrogant and I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings. You
said something very true in your reply above. That I have to
forgive and forget. This is true and I already know it. I guess
the dilemma is that I don't know how to do it. To play their
drama games or to invest in their emotional lives. Not because I
think it's wrong or beneath me or anything pretentious or
preachy like that (I'm just as "flawed" as anyone else) but
simply because it's freaking annoying! :) It's all consuming.
It's like a fly at a picnic that just won't go away.... I don't
care if you're the most patient person alive, fly's at a picnic
are freaking annoying! You said "let go of your impatience".
Spot on! Any advice on how to do that, lol? Because that is
exactly it. And I suspect that some of the impatience is
actually frustration at not being able to relate on a currently
existing experiential level with almost everyone I come in
contact with which goes almost always unnoticed until I'm face
with the burden of someone else's expectations of how reality is
or should be (so sort of like what I'm doing here....except
hopefully I'm not burdening anyone, lol). My feelings wouldn't
be hurt if the reply I got back was "nobody cares, log off".
Cheers!
#Post#: 41946--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 18, 2020, 12:08 am
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Some double entente there. 'Nobody' cares, well, when one finds
they are nobody then they will indeed realize what it means to
care. People who still think they are people are only capable of
what might be called an, ''egoic-crippled'' (or: eqippled) form
of caring, the old 'road to ruin is paved with good intentions'
saying.
Tell you what, write me at cambodianashram@gmail.com and we can
talk further. Something a little unusual have come into my world
and I would like to share it with you.
SPOILER ALERT: No, I am not selling AMWAY, HERBALIFE or
SCIENTOLOGY or (FILL IN THE BLANK) .... just in case you might
have thought so
... but I sense you are smarter than that. LOL.
Much love an be well.
Jed.
#Post#: 41953--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jon Osterman Date: July 18, 2020, 9:02 pm
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Aw shucks, I was in the market for some HERBALIFE. Thanks, will
do!
#Post#: 41956--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 19, 2020, 12:51 am
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O.K., do you want the skinny on this. Everyone is fat, but there
are two kinds of fat. Once comes from over-eating and the other
from over-thinking. I offer the solution to the later, and for
the former, I have a suggestion, but I feel it might be a little
rude, so I'm going to just shut-up now.
Much love, Jed.
#Post#: 41960--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jon Osterman Date: July 19, 2020, 11:36 am
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Haha, Bobb Dobbs has a run for his money with you! I'm sold!
On a less serious note, it suddenly occurred to me that as pure
subjectivity people only exist as "my" objects. Then it occurred
to me that since this is the case I myself must also be an
object. Which means the frustration is also an object. Problem
is, I"m not sure exactly what to do with this revelation or if
it's even relevant. But a useful insight regardless!
#Post#: 41962--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 20, 2020, 7:02 am
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I suggest abundant use of the word 'appears'. An example....
On a less serious note, it suddenly occurred to me that as pure
subjectivity, people only appear to exist as "my" objects. Then
it occurred to what appears to be me, that since this appears to
be the case I myself must also appear to be an object. Which
means my apparent frustration also appears as an object. The
problem appears to be this. What appears to be me is not sure
exactly what to do with this apparent revelation or if it's even
relevant. But it appears to be a useful insight regardless!
I appear to love you and care for your well being,
Jed (apparantly my spell check doesn't work)
#Post#: 41964--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jon Osterman Date: July 20, 2020, 9:48 am
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Ah, okay, that appears to make sense. I apparently need to brush
up on my e-prime as well......oops. :)
#Post#: 41966--------------------------------------------------
Re: zombie's have feelings too
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 21, 2020, 10:22 pm
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Me, making sense ??? ??? ???.... time to lock me up. :P :P :P
Love ya, Jed
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