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#Post#: 41900--------------------------------------------------
Simultaneously lost and found
By: Meno Date: July 11, 2020, 10:00 am
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Hi Jed
I think I need to write; I am lost but totally know where I am.
I have a desire to find out more, but what more is there to find
out? Nothing I read anymore (spiritual stuff) captures my
interest, or at least that I have tried, I am bored of hearing
the same stuff, really bored and restless and I know what I need
to do but I can't seem to do it. I don't know how to.
The bubble burst for me about 6 years ago - thank **** It has
been a desperate quest since I was a very young child. Life now,
whatever that is (in the dreamworld), is pretty good (it rarely
has been). Mostly I am pretty happy. When I am not, it is still
fine and it passes quickly. But I can't see any signposts
anymore. There is nothing telling me where to go - there always
has been; even when I've felt totally isolated in a deep dark
space, that is where I was at least. I have tried to rejoin and
embrace the dream/ego, what else is there to do? Much as I think
I would like to live in a cave I can't, I have older children, a
perfect partner and a pretty enjoyable job. Is it really better
in a cave? At least I would not have to deal with this mad world
which is a massive bonus. I feel ready to die (not in a bad way)
but is this really it? Like really, is this really it? How do I
live in this dreamworld in a compatible way? There is nowhere
else to go anymore and I don't even feel compelled to 'make the
most of it' if I was told I had 6 months to live. It sounds
hugely ungrateful but this is where I am at.
Thanks for allowing me to do this - I'm sure it will be valuable
even if it isn't :)
#Post#: 41901--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 11, 2020, 10:50 am
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Hi Meno:
This human dream comes with infinite facets. Some are good and
some bad, and that doesn't matter one single bit to anybody,
other than a 'mind'. You, and everyone else, makes up meaning,
we are 'meaning making machines'.... and we LOVE our
machinations... and in our hearts we too don't give a tinker's
damn about such dogma. In our hearts we are 'nature' and she
let's it all happen as it happens, sans meaning. That's as close
as anyone one can get to real love... by releasing all
meaning... letting everything appear as it does.
Sit down, take a deep breath and look around you, the idiocy is
monumental and hilarious, acts of kindness are are rare but if
you look, they are everywhere, disease ravages the world but you
sound healthy as a horse.... nothing is as it seems and it seems
we cannot understand nothing, we have to think we know something
in order to move forward on anything while, in Truth, everything
is coming to us... and if you think you are confused you think
you are lost when the truth is you are very close to all
answers.
Be happy, be sad, be loving, be not-so-loving, don't think that
anything matters to anyone/thing other than your mind. You still
think you and what you are experiencing is important in some
way. Nature doesn't care, so give me a hundred reasons why you
should. Seriously.
Do not think you understand what I am saying... that's just more
thinking.
Do you have the Full Body Breathing tape?
Love ya and stay healthy,
Jed.
#Post#: 41902--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Meno Date: July 11, 2020, 12:17 pm
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Thank you Jed - so many gems in there.
Yes I do seem to think that my experiences are important in some
way - the thought of them not being important is particularly
enticing so I will try and 'be' with that, without thinking too
much and trying to find meaning. I am out of touch with
everything being meaningless; I've forgotten this in my day to
day experience and am relatively detached from my heart.
I do a breathing exercise (and breath holding) most days but
haven't for a couple of weeks so.... I do not have your 'Full
Body Breathing tape' but I am hoping you are going to send me an
old fashioned cassette from the 90's, or 80's even - just
kidding ;)
Just one thing.... you said "....the truth is that you are very
close to all the answers" Are there actually any answers?
How can there be?
#Post#: 41903--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 11, 2020, 11:38 pm
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Hi Meno:
You are brilliant, you raise a most important point. The mind
want's answers and there is only one 'true' answer, and it is
rather obvious, 'There is no answer'. There is a mystery though,
and that mystery is best just left alone and accepted. As the
song says ''Let it be, let it be''.
You Full Body Breathing tape is on the way, an eight-track in
the saddle bag of a Wells Fargo rider. I hear they are more
reliable than their name sake bank... but that's just
speculation. If you don't have an eight-track player I can loan
you my old Volvo... that one still works (the player, not the
Volvo).
If you don't receive it by yesterday, please write me at
cambodianashram@gmail.com.
Take care and chill well.
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 41905--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Meno Date: July 12, 2020, 10:35 am
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Ha! ;D Nothing would make me happier than receiving a breathing
tape from a Wells Fargo rider (had to look that up :-[) I can
imagine them pulling on their reins and grinding to a dramatic
halt outside my little house whilst they dispatched the goods.
I would then invite them in for tea (I'm English) and ask them
about their crazy adventures and enquire as to how they crossed
the Atlantic Ocean on a horse. Then your old Volvo would
magically appear on my driveway and I would sit in it and
breathe whilst listening to the tape - not bad for a Sunday; oh
no it was yesterday, so Saturday.
So I have been 'chilling well' today - reading a great book and
intermittently reminding myself that there is no answer; I had
forgotten; or my mind had. What a relief. There is no mystery
today but when it comes I hope to welcome and delight in it.
After all if we knew everything it would all be a bit boring.
Thank you.
#Post#: 41911--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 13, 2020, 2:11 am
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Send to Full Body Breath tape and some Chi Kung tapes that I
follow and get value from.
Let me know how it goes.
Love ya and stay well.
Jed.
#Post#: 41925--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Meno Date: July 15, 2020, 4:20 am
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Hi Jed
Thanks again for the tapes - much appreciated!
In Mod One, when writing a list of things we want in life,
should we include things that we already have? As these things
may at any minute disappear of course (but they are still
desired) .... or do we stick to things that we haven't got? It
made me realise that at the moment, I have what I most desire
but if it went then things might go a bit belly up. But there
are of course a few other things that I still desire.... which I
can list too.
Sorry if I'm overthinking ??? !
Thanks as always :)
#Post#: 41931--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 15, 2020, 11:09 pm
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Maybe it's 'over-fearing'. The marvel of life is that anything
may appear to arise in the next moment.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 41936--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Meno Date: July 16, 2020, 4:46 pm
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Oh yes there's definitely fear :)! That's why I was wondering
about including things that one has already.... as there is some
fear around losing them - more so than wanting to acquire or
wish for more, if that makes sense? It's still quite superficial
but it's definitely there. So it would be good to look at this
more deeply.... on one hand I feel pretty ok with death (it's
always been the hugest and most deepest fear but this has been
fairly absent for a while now) - yet on the other hand if I lost
my washing machine I would probably have a panic attack - maybe
a bit of an exaggeration ;D but the paradoxes are there for
sure.
#Post#: 41938--------------------------------------------------
Re: Simultaneously lost and found
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 16, 2020, 10:36 pm
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Paradoxes, parallels and conundrums.... somethings must be
permitted to be as they are, sans understanding.
Love ya, Jed
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