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#Post#: 40984--------------------------------------------------
Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a big
difference.
By: Jed McKenna Date: April 20, 2020, 9:34 am
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Dear Forum member:
I know that sounds a little strange... but let's look closer.
Imagine the following scenarios:
1.) You are in a room, let's say it's a house, and in the next
room there are something like ten people. Now, for whatever
reason, they are familiar with you and all of them have fallen
deeply in love with you. Man, woman, and in between are ALL
madly in love with you, and they brought their pets... who are
also totally adoring of you. It could be any range of emotions,
romantic love, envious admiration, whatever combinations arises.
The catch is you don't know they are there. So, you just ho-hum
around and not much happens. Got it?
2.) You are now in a somewhat similar situation but in reverse.
That group of people and pets, for some unknowing reason, do not
know you are in the other room and don't really care, and for
some additional unknown reason, you happen to be madly in love
with all of them, including their pets. In neither case is any
contact permitted, not even the ability to see each other.
I ask that you place yourself in each of those
positions/circumstances, and contemplate which you would rather
be in. The one being loved and the other loving others. Where
would the juice lie for you? Do you seek to love or to be loved?
Or perhaps some combination of the two.
Let me know your thoughts, and take care,
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 40988--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: EternalDawning Date: April 20, 2020, 10:41 am
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To love absolutely, for no reason. That seems the easiest
position. From the other bubble; What is love? What does it
mean? So many things, to so many people. Is there more to it
beyond what is circumstantial and programming? Is it
motivating? What is the absolute source of it? Do we drink from
the unconditional fountain of it or are we seeking
someone/something to plug a hole where we keep loosing it?
To be a conduit to love anyone or anything is a miraculous
strange thing. What inspires streams to wander and what
mountains will they move?
#Post#: 40989--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: Jed McKenna Date: April 20, 2020, 11:00 am
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Well expressed my friend.
Much love and stay well.
Jed.
#Post#: 40990--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: Jon Osterman Date: April 20, 2020, 12:06 pm
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You've just described my experience. Being the unnoticed
admirer. I've actually never been comfortable with people
admiring or envying me. For me, the less attention the better. I
rarely socialize in large groups, my wardrobe is mostly neutral
colors and grey, I don't wear anything fancy that would attract
attention. I've never been very good at taking compliments or
receiving affection. Mostly because I don't know how to respond,
even if the feeling is reciprocated. I like to admire people,
pets, or better stated the process of life from afar but the
moment I'm noticed back or approached the feeling generally
fades pretty quickly. The idea of being stuck in a room with a
bunch of people loving and admiring me honestly sounds like
hell. I've often wondered if it's a disgust response to ego or
if it's because I don't feel deserving of admiration. Most
likely it's a disgust response because i"m actually pretty
freaking awesome and totally deserve admiration.....I just don't
want it. lol
#Post#: 40991--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: Marshak Date: April 20, 2020, 2:37 pm
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Good experiment ;) I came to several conclusions only just to
forget them again and then the process was like the more I
pondered the more I discarded both possibilites with a mild,
warm and soft 'yeah whatever'-smile
#Post#: 40992--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: Robert Capozzi Date: April 20, 2020, 2:39 pm
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My take:
In Case 1, I am loved yet unaware of it. In Case 2, I am in love
but unaware of the objects of that love’s proximity.
The emotion of love is felt directly in Case 2. While that
emotion would likely be heightened in their presence, I still
have the feeling of love.
While it is pleasant to BE loved, love coming toward me is far
less likely to be palpable in Case 1. If I were considering my
relationship with these 10 and their pets, I am only guessing
how they feel toward me. They SEEM to appreciate me, but I
cannot really know how they feel about me.
Optimally, the loving feelings are reciprocal. But, given the
choice, tis better to seek to love than to be loved. It's
similar to the NT's it's better to give than to receive.
#Post#: 40993--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: True Date: April 20, 2020, 6:36 pm
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If honest... To be loved. That is the truth. I want the answer
to be number 2, one hundred percent. But that isn't the truth.
#Post#: 40996--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: EternalDawning Date: April 20, 2020, 11:04 pm
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I appreciate your thought provoking/destroying prodding.
#Post#: 40997--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: Jed McKenna Date: April 21, 2020, 12:18 am
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Much thanks my friends.... all good input... I like the 'want it
to be #2, but that's not the truth'. Wise and honest words from
all .
Take care and be well.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 41000--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you want to be loved, or do you want to love? There is a
big difference.
By: Neverx2x2 Date: April 21, 2020, 2:32 am
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I asked a similar question last year... as a result of the
following thought that occurred to me:
Better to be on Outside-Looking-In, facing rejection... than to
be on the Inside-Looking-Out, through the bars of a prison...
and calling it Home.
Eventually, I had to ask... "So how could I cross between the
two referential perspectives?" ...ie If I wanted out of the
prison, what to change, and vice/versa.
It took a few months... and then "Where have you put infinity?"
... which later becomes something more practical... like "On
which side of the corneas have you put Infinity?"
The analogy is that of looking through a window... you can climb
out, get in a car, maybe fly a plane, maybe invent a
light-travel space vehicle (like a dream machine) and get
out-there into more and more of the infinite-out-there, but you
will always be in some kind of bubble/prison... looking 'out
there'. If, however, Infinity is on the side of the window you
are 'already on'... well, 'out-there' becomes more like
'in-there' (as in, looking into the bubble from the Infinite
Emptiness).
The resemblance to the two 'Unfulfilled love' perspectives
described in your post might come clear at this point.
Infinity-on-your-side-of-the-corneas offers rejection from that
which you love to observe. Infinity-on-the-not-your-side leaves
you loving freedom, while being trapped in a bubble.
I still want to say it's better to be on the Outside-Looking-In,
facing rejection.... but maybe it's better to be able to move
Infinity between the two extreme perspectives... not being
attached to either.
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