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#Post#: 40434--------------------------------------------------
toxic
By: moron2014 Date: March 28, 2020, 8:27 pm
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Went full black. Toxic on all levels, physically alc, cigs,
mentally obsessed with revealing the dark side, emotionally
unforgiving towards the willful sleepers and towards myself for
dreaming this nightmare up. Full of wrath towards the dreamer.
Social isolation, years of quarantine, only going out to fight
bird killers and cock fight participants. You see wonderful
people all around you, I mainly see unscrupulous retards. I used
to be unable to feel anger at all, now I would kill those
involved in eyes wide shut kids stuff and other monstrosities
with my own hands. I distrust and hate the dreamer, I see
consciousness as the infinite all-encompassing virus and us as
its hosts. I would push the bottom to erase all worlds and or my
own existence. My only fear is being lured or forced into
remaining within the cycle of dreams of sheer powerlessness and
never-ending deception. I want to be free and live in a free
world. What is your ACIM worth if the overall setup remains
untouched? Do you think I can enjoy a full belly in a world of
starving lambs?
Unity love, beingness bliss, nothingness peace all gone. Seems
that I have become what I hate. What went wrong? How to delete
this toxic cramp once and for all?
#Post#: 40438--------------------------------------------------
Re: toxic
By: Jed McKenna Date: March 28, 2020, 11:39 pm
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Dear Moron:
Well, you certainly know how to brighten up one's day. And, in a
strange way, I am not being sarcastic. The reason I find you
post uplifting is that:
1.) It's different, more than a little unusual
2.) It's honest, more than a little honest.
3.) I can, at least temporarily, take your position and see
things through your eyes, and that is a strange, but momentarily
delightful change.
4.) You have vicariously confirmed that you are being
entertained, perhaps more than most. I got a 3D super sounds
around image through your words.
5.) It is a wondrous counter-point to the massive amount of a
disingenuous-fakoe-new-age-feel-good-warm-fuzzy bu l l s h i t
that flies around the internet in an endless hurricare of well
intentioned bold-faced lies and cries (no... wimpers) for
personal attention.
My only complaint is I am a little dissappointment in that you
only scratched the surface. At least in my opinion. Bottom line,
you are holding back, you are puting an ever-so-thin film of
illusory goodness over your sharings. Perhaps you are afraid to
really dig deeper, to really see what is, to just hold your nose
and dive in the deep end of the infinite 'Pool of Doodoo'. What
is, albeit only in the dream, is much, much worse that you
indicate... and I just don't think you get it.... yet. This is a
nightmare beyond anything you could possibily dream up in your
limited little mind. Stephen King only hinted at the true horror
of it all.
Now... if you are willing to go deeper, I would be delighted to
hear more. If you are going to try to sell me some garbage about
it getting better, please don't waste your time. You and I know
that this S**** Show is going full Three-ring. And we have front
row seats, very, very front row seats.
So, if you like, tell me more from your vision of the show. Come
on, I can take it all, and I mean all.... RIGHT BETWEEN THE
EYES!
With lukewarm dubious love and conditional caring,
Jed.
P.S. May I make a movie suggestion, Brain Candy by Kids in the
hall. When you have had a chance to see it, get back to me.
There is an incredibly relavent line that I loved. I believe it
was from 'Don'. I wonder if you can find it. A hint, 'The ___
____ ____ ____ ____ ____ dry'. If anyone can, you can. Give it a
shot, I double-dog dare yah.....
#Post#: 40495--------------------------------------------------
Re: toxic
By: moron2014 Date: March 29, 2020, 10:03 pm
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die nippel der mutter des schicksals sind versiegt...
Frst u make me watch Dumb and Dumber, now this. Why the hell
does the guy speak german, my mother tongue. The film suggests
that the inability to accept the void creates psychopathy. is
that so? Ego clearly is, but is all darkness and evil born from
resistance to the void?
Darkness. I am a little embarrassed to talk freely among all
these grateful loving enlightened peaceful beings around here.
But ok, I also talk to my mother. Why is there always this
inauthentic feel around spiritual groups. I even had it in
Ramana´s ashram. And even with his talks. not regarding the
ultimate stuff, but everything around it. He must have known
that this is what people will cling to and copy, no? Not that I
am authentic. Who knows why I am writing here, maybe I just
wanted your attention which you gave me, thank you. Or maybe I
just want to stick around for the time being and pretend to be
pals or play balls with my sadhguru. Authenticity is the degree
of awareness and admittance of pretension. The way out is
through, I know, but how to swim through or dive to the bottom
of an infinite pool. Moreover, it is not static, but ever
changing, it has fled before it has been identified, it cannot
be put behind bars. Neither can the light, not even via
perfected mind control and AI. Dostojewskis Crime and Punishment
describes the individual evolution from the concepts of laws and
morals towards conscience which I believe is part of the natural
state of man. So the darkness can never be perfected. Neither
can the light.
It feels awkward to communicate. And futile. I can talk lines
and quadrats and even cycles and spirals, but I can never get to
the point, let alone the void beyond it. Every understanding is
a misunderstanding, every shown face a mask, every that not it
and the it forever untouchable. The I changes states and cycles
thousands of times a day, it, too, has fled before it has been
identified and cannot be put behind bars. Fear and hope build
the bars of the dark and light cages for the lambs, and words
are the bars of their identity prisons. I am entertained, yes,
but I am also tired to live in a world of endless bars and
programmed masses. How to thrive here. You will say, see the
bars as possibilites. But theư put up new bars every day. We are
kept busy all day long transforming bars, if we bother with
keeping up. That is not thriving, that is Sysiphus. Camus said S
was a happy man. While contermplating suicide.
I want to talk about freedom. Although I do not exist, I demand
to be free. And if it means that I have to create my own
unrealities in eternal aloneness, so be it. It has already
turned out to be that way anyway. Just no more being dreamt up
in the world of another dreamer. This is the root of my
toxicity, I guess. I am one with the dreamer and yet have
emancipated myself from it. So the whole setup seems odd now,
with the dreamt up and the dreamer and the emancipated dreamer
and the void all in place and no-one left to handle the mess.
#Post#: 40496--------------------------------------------------
Re: toxic
By: Jed McKenna Date: March 30, 2020, 1:58 am
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Dear Full Black:
Thanks for sharing a slice of your world. Don't think for a
minute that those inauthentic bliss ninnies who strole around
various ashrams in their pajamas are any less authentic that you
are in this moment. Go black or go white, either is false, one
is a little more fun. BUT, when you go all grey on me, then the
nipples of mother hope have indeed run dry. If a student writes
me and says I am a stark raving mad bullshitter, I am delighted,
and if one sends me pictures of themself bowing on bended knee
and lighting incense to bless me, great. I can work with either,
I have someone to get a hold of, we can enter into a dialogue
and we both learn... but this 'greyness' you hold out to be your
reality, it's actually a little slimy. I'm not sure I can be of
assistance at all.
There is a very simple mini-contemplation in the Nav Series, and
that is to say, 'So what?' to everything that arises, even if
only for a brief time. Give it a try.
I hear you and say, ''Yeh, so what?'' You can show and prove
that life is complete B.S., 'Yeh, so what?', you can come up
with a ton of proof that humans are just a bunch of primitive
bastards (oh yeh, bitches too), 'Yeh, so what?'. You can wonder
till the end of time 'Why?' and miss the real party, 'Yeh, so
what?' You can threaten suicide, 'Yeh, so what?'. (that, BTW, is
the least impressive thing you said). You might experience full
blown enlightenment, 'Yeh, so what?'. You might observe
insincerity at Ashrams (sure, like 'I' haven't?), and I say,
'Yeh, so what?' I could go on and on and on... 'Yeh, so what?
Now you're boring me Jed'.
I listen as best I can to my students, but never believe what
they say, I never take them literally, they don't lie, they just
seldom talk about the real issue, and that's what you are doing.
You are crying for attention, and you lack the courage to just
ask for it... you have mine, for now. Plus, but I'm not finished
(Yeh, so what?).
You are not telling me anything I don't know, haven't seen or
experienced... except the suicide part (yet). Can you be a
little more original, a little less ordinary and repetitive. I
find your words to be, well... I gotta say it... boring. And the
comeback to me that would make me happy is??? You guessed it,
'Yeh, so what smarty pants Mr. Guru?'.
There is an old 'hippy era' philosopher named Alan Watts...
great guy in his time. He once quoted Camus in a lecture,
'“Camus said there is only one serious philosophical question
which is whether or not to commit suicide.” My
interpretation.... every morning you wake up with this amazing
choice, do I kill myself today, or do I live it out and see what
arises. Most people lack the courage to do either, so they go
around each day like the walking dead. I suggest consciously
making that choice and make it with all your heart and will,
every day. We have sufficient zombies in the dream to last
another Kali Yuga.
Love ya, and contrary to appearances, wish you the best in your
quest, and let me add, if you seek to be right and continually
live in your attention seeking dream, you can kiss any hope of
happiness and freedom goodbye. (Yeh, so what?)
Love ya, Jed. (Yeh, so what? Give it a break Jed, or go join
OOA, On and On Anonymous)
Thanks for the suggestion, I did try to join but no one would
listen to me.
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