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       #Post#: 40001--------------------------------------------------
       Manipulation
       By: FreddyMac Date: January 31, 2020, 3:34 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Hello Jed,
       I'm hoping for some practical advice. I've gone through a long
       period of being confronted with untruth in any belief, social
       structure, relation and whatever else. It just can't be unseen
       anymore. It's like everything I touch turns into wine or gold -
       something once desired, but in these quantities completely
       deprived of utility.
       While liberating, the point I'm at now is that most people avoid
       me unless they get stuck in life and hit me up for coffee as
       some sort of advice how not to care so much about petty things.
       But when we get to the looking at beliefs part, they soon avoid
       me again and life is becoming pretty boring and rather
       challenging money-wise.
       I've gone through the being broke part before and don't feel
       that's necessary again. It feels more like I'm missing something
       that impedes a flow into a more stable environment to deepen my
       insights, instead of struggling to find a break from the
       bullshit of society - whether it's noisy neighbors or a
       government that wants me to jump through hoops. Yes, that
       reveals a desire, which reveals a belief. But I can't see which
       one or how to get there this time. If anything, the word
       'patience' comes to mind all the time. But the thought of doing
       nothing (yes, i know, not exactly 'non-doing'), feels like
       trying out the breatharian diet without really being on the
       supposed prana-frequency because you doubt if it really exist -
       you kind of know that logically you'd physically die from it;
       it's self fulfilling. Or is that the gate, to do it anyway? Of
       course you won't provide an answer, but perhaps you have the
       right counter-question at stock?
       Argh! :-\ ;) My last penny for your thoughts...
       thanks, Fred
       #Post#: 40003--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: Jed McKenna Date: February 1, 2020, 12:42 am
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       Thoughful and appreciated post.
       First off, never try to help anyone. When they come to you with
       a problem, just smile and tell them that they don't really want
       help. Make your assistance the result of having them jump
       through hoops. Be 'unavailable' and make them work for your time
       and energy. Most are too lazy and those who do will end up
       giving you energy instead of frustrating you. I have had a few
       students visit me here in Cambodia and it has always been a
       wonderful experience for all parties, but they had to work to
       get here.... they didn't have to prove anything to me other than
       openness and sincerity in their work, and that is rarer than it
       might sound. Very few people genuinely want assistance. They
       want to moan and justify. I'm sure you have seen that and
       probably it's at the heart of what gets under your skin.
       I assume you were more than joking about breatherianism. I have
       only done two day breatherian (no water, no food) and it was
       quite easy, but certainly not a heck of accomplishment. I have a
       student/friend who went to a course in Europe. There was 24
       students and they start with a few days of good diet then did 4
       days no food or water. Everyone completed it except one student
       who only did 3 days. I met a girl in Thailand who did 11 days no
       food or water. It's quite unusual how some people think it's a
       great idea and others feel very strongly that you are out of
       your mind. My first introduction to it was a lecturer on a boat
       from Singapore to Sydney in 1970. He called is
       'Rhynopsychodiatetics', love the name. I guess one could have a
       career as a Rhynopsychodiatetician, and that would only require
       one response to every inquiry. Easy Job. Met an eye doctor quite
       a while ago who had done 62 days but there was a catch. He did
       it in Australia and upon returning to Colorado in winter, his
       fast promptly ended. I think it's very difficult to maintain in
       cold climates.
       I don't get the problem with most people avoiding you. That's
       going to be good in the AOCV (Age of Corona Virus). People have
       much more control over how, who and when they pic and choose
       their friends. Selectivity is a desirable function IMHO.
       I don't know if I have answered anything for you, I seem to have
       rambled on and on. If you can be more specific, perhaps I can
       discipline myself to be so.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 40011--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: FreddyMac Date: February 1, 2020, 1:03 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Thanks. I’m not sure if I totally got on what level you’re
       really trying to communicate something, but I do see what you
       mean with openness and sincerity.
       To be more specific: I fear that only some of the avoidance is
       fear-based, while another part is a perfectly sound reaction to
       an incongruence within me that I’m not yet aware of myself.
       My doings somehow triggers a feeling within many people that I
       take more than I give. I just know that on some level they’re
       right, deep down there is an intention to rule the world. While
       on many other levels I’ve been given all I have and more than
       once have I experienced life in a way that’s similar to the
       anecdote in the mailing you sent out today. Every few weeks it
       returns and sometimes it comes with a burst of laughing I’ve
       never had with anything else.
       I know this may sound like I believe I know it all, but it is
       not the case. My curse is that I know no other way to write. It
       binds the cluster of tangled up challenges for which I see no
       entry point. Meanwhile there is this voice in the back of my
       head telling me to just feel it and give up the trying to find a
       way out.
       All of this comes down to a fear of having no food and shelter.
       Breatharianism would just be a bypass for that. The mechanism is
       that I fear that if I let things run its course, I’ll be the
       lone nut I know I rather be than anything else I’ve tried. And
       while I worked hard to be good at many jobs, it makes sense not
       to hire me, because doing so reveals the fakery of everything
       people invovled are trying to convince themselves of. My fear is
       not to be (emotionally) loved, of not to be acknowledged to
       exist. To be more specific, the feeling that goes with it. Not
       to exist… It’s like ego remains but realizes it, whereas the
       burst of laughter moments ego was gone. Or am I missing
       something here?
       Sorry, maybe not very specific, not appearing open, but
       seriously sincere...
       #Post#: 40015--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: Jed McKenna Date: February 2, 2020, 1:21 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Thanks for that. I confess to finding it a little confusing. It
       sounds to me that you are rather self-absorbed, whatever that
       might mean.
       One thought that comes to me is about the student/friend who
       tried the breatharian thing mentioned that, while she didn't
       continue with it, it altered her concept of and relation to
       eating. It seemed to have severed a need to eat, a realization
       that so much of it was a habit or compulsion. Now, as an aside
       she was not overweight and was quite healthy at the beginning
       and remained healthy, but she was quite clear that eating took
       on a different meaning to her.
       So, I am at a bit of a loss as to what to say, but perhaps you
       might look closely at one of your compulsions/attachments. If
       that make sense to you, which one would it be?
       Take care, love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 40019--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: FreddyMac Date: February 2, 2020, 4:11 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Thank you. I have to admit my ramble looks rather incoherent to
       me too when I read it again. But somehow the confrontation with
       that, through your reply, triggers an emotional response.
       Clearly, I care about how I come across, even though I write
       anonymously.
       I suppose that counts as an attachment. I took a moment to let
       it sink in to what exactly. The answer that resonates most is,
       attachment to the feeling of being seen as promising. That was
       the case as a child, but I couldn’t stomach the school system
       and later on office life once I finally had plowed through all
       the grades.
       That’s the first time I realized this. I feel shame for all my
       attempts to come across clever by copied tricks and hard work.
       Because truth is, I can’t even remember what I had for dinner
       last night. And for any topic I can engage in a conversation
       about, it is only because I spent many many hours on it. The
       only thing exceptional about me is my willingness to grind
       endlessly. But I now doubt if that’s not just to keep up
       appearances either.
       Well, at least this habit got me to grind on happiness and
       eventually got me past the hard belief in the illusion of being
       an autonomous individual, which for a while stopped me from
       trying to find my place in this absurd society. But it’s almost
       as if things went a bit too fast, as there seems to be no solid
       ground for the realizations to root, yet. Like the grinding got
       me ahead of my natural pace for this process.
       Perhaps this is how it always feels, to any ego. I guess that’s
       why I’m here, to find some reassurance to carry on, go further.
       Writing you without editing, taking on the risk of being
       incoherent - by that already moving half an inch further.
       I’m not going to ask for anything from hereon, but I might
       continue posting if you don’t mind. However, your thoughts are
       always welcome, even if it’s just a ramble.
       Thanks for being here.
       #Post#: 40020--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: Jed McKenna Date: February 2, 2020, 4:57 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Nothing you are saying sounds new to me. Just the way the dream
       proceeds. Make sure you don't take anything seriously.
       Seriousness is an illness.
       Write any time.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 40034--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: FreddyMac Date: February 3, 2020, 11:26 am
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       Things have become clear again. Thanks a lot for 'not' helping.
       :)
       #Post#: 40035--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: FreddyMac Date: February 3, 2020, 12:20 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I used to play some golf. Most people I know quit disappointed
       with their progress before finding out that the learning curve
       for most is just S-shaped. The reason is that you’ll have a hard
       time hitting straight shots at the beginning. This means you end
       up in bushes, in water hazards, behind trees and what have you.
       For some, knowing that’s the case certainly helps with learning
       to focus, but for most people it seems beneficial to get a free
       drop on a flat lie once in a while.
       A similar dynamic seems to appear with my self-inquiry. I’ve
       certainly had moments of clarity or presence, when there was a
       direct experience without identification with the body and mind,
       even when unpleasant thought came by. Those moments it seems
       hard to imagine that will ever fade, but i've had a couple of
       times when  an unpleasant feeling and a strong identification
       combined seem to make me forget to step back, disengage the mind
       and take a couple of deep breaths to regain clarity again.
       I count your feedback as a free drop shot. Part of me likes to
       find a way to prevent this from happening again (i.e. step out
       of the process), but the other part sees the necessity of
       leaving it as is, because from my current perspective I wouldn’t
       matter if it does happen again.
       Life’s easy on the fairway.
       #Post#: 40036--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: Jed McKenna Date: February 3, 2020, 8:07 pm
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       A ways to go before Par, but what the heck. You're not a quiter.
       Stick with it.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 40039--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Manipulation
       By: FreddyMac Date: February 4, 2020, 3:26 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       The persistent fool who persists in his folly.. will find out
       there's nothing to be serious about. Not even persistence.
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