DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
INVISIBLE GURU FORUM
HTML https://jedmckenna.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Member Posts
*****************************************************
#Post#: 39819--------------------------------------------------
Stillness
By: Username1 Date: December 10, 2019, 11:29 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hi Jed,
My exterior is still, dead still. eg. when I take the dog for a
walk there is no rustling of trees or bamboo, they sit suspended
in stillness, without so much of a sway. The long grass in the
fields doesn't even move. It's so very still and obvious that I
can't not notice it.
It doesn't concern me, but as I'm battling with some inner
turmoil it seems out of place.
I love the stillness but it doesn't fit with what I'm working on
internally.
Can you shed some light on this?
#Post#: 39822--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stillness
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 10, 2019, 11:13 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Dear poster:
Thank you for your post and questions. It's not much for me to
go on, really. What I would like to know is more about what you
have studied, past experiences, yoga, perhaps age, etc. Also,
current status as in do you have stresses such as divorce, or
falling in love (also a stress, posi-stress). The more info I
have the better the quality of my response. I trust you
undersand.
If you feel a little, hmm.. shy about doing that here, you can
write me privately, at cambodianashram@gmail.com.
Look forward to hearing a little more,
love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 39823--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stillness
By: Username1 Date: December 11, 2019, 12:57 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Jed,
My story is long and boring and I'm pretty sure you're not
interested in 99% of it, and neither really am i.
my current stress is a narcissistic vicar of a mother who i have
had nothing to do with for 20 years and has been diagnosed with
pancreatic cancer, prognosis bad. I have had no relationship
with her, no malice towards her, but no 'love' either - so am
pretty neutral about the situation however others appear to
believe I should be suffering terribly.
I have not got any 'love' interests - The last I had was a
psychopath around 5 years ago I went 'no contact' and was
stalked, harassed and lucky to escape with my life. It was at
this point i took a look at the pattern of abusive relationships
and realised that i had been lying to myself which resulted in a
form of what i believe you call autolysis, although it's only in
hindsight I see this. This didn't take me far enough though,
just to the energyless, motiveless, can't stand my job place
which ive been in for a while.
I'm not old, but not a spring chicken either. I dabbled with
Crowley in my 20's (mostly as a f**k you to my mother) and have
done a lot of yoga, I trained in computer programming,
I do spend every moment i can trying to abide in I am, ive never
had a 'guru'..
I fail too see how any of this assists you in answering why I
have fallen out of the world and into a dead zone?
#Post#: 39825--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stillness
By: Username1 Date: December 11, 2019, 2:21 am
---------------------------------------------------------
PS
Re my mother. I have inquired fairly extensively to see whether
there are any feelings associated with everyones huge sympathy
for me and expectation of me but I can't find guilt or sadness
other than 'standard' empathy for someone suffering and in pain.
I am strangely grateful that because of her I didn't have a lot
of trouble getting rid of the external male god in heaven. If
you understand what I mean.
Re experiences. I have had a few. what can be described as full
body intuition on steroids type flashes. I've also had the one
previously mentioned where 'going deeper' i ended up in a
completely formless velvet space of nothingness. but this didn't
have the feeling of truth associated with it, hence the
questioning.
And most recently this strange stillness.
I can watch myself with relative ease, but sometimes a thought
arises that is total gobbledygook - as though someone wiped
their hand over a keyboard. and it's impossible for me to not go
'wtf' in response and giggle.
Hope this is enough info..
#Post#: 39829--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stillness
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 11, 2019, 5:24 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for sharing your story.
Whenever stuck, in any endevour, I always go back to basics. So,
tell me who knows there is this stillness along with inner
trumoil? Stillness and turmoil are just arising and there is
someone who is aware of those arisings. Who or what is it?
Love ya, Jed.
*****************************************************