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#Post#: 39165--------------------------------------------------
help - beatrice
By: jimaho10@gmail.com Date: August 31, 2019, 11:49 am
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I have been working with your material for several years now,
but I woke with a profoundly dis-orienting experience this
morning. I woke up not havng any memories of anything prior to
this morning. I have no recollection of yesterday or anything
going back quite a while. I have spent my entire life in this
part of NH so I went for a ride and started recalling different
times in my life, but what I have been able to recall, I have no
emotional connection to. It is freaking me out. Does any of
this sound familiar to you?
#Post#: 39166--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: Jed McKenna Date: August 31, 2019, 1:27 pm
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Hi Beatrice:
Thank you for posting you ''challenge'' and I am certainly
familiar with such things, but usually the come on a person
gradually. Perhaps that's not your luck today. What specific
work have you been doing? Give me a little more to go on. I
trust you have not been taking any drugs of the mind altering
variety. So, tell me more.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 39167--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: jimaho10@gmail.com Date: August 31, 2019, 6:26 pm
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I originally got introduced to this material through Richard
Rose. My ex and I moved to Sedona and got introduced to your
works. I have worked on this "stuff" since 2009. This morning
is the first HUGE change I have gone
through. Forgetting so much is what is freaking me out.
#Post#: 39169--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: Jed McKenna Date: September 1, 2019, 2:13 am
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I wouldn't worry, but I don't worry much anyways. Your
experiences has some parallels so mine. Imagine that you have a
personal thermo-nuclear device and your seeking/work has
resulted in the device being armed and then initiated. KABOOM!
The mirror that you have been living through/by is shattered and
all the shards of mirror and glass on the floor provide
fractured images of your prior being. I definitely had to do
some re-assembling in order to function in the dream of
humanness. It sounds to me like you are going through something
similar.
You didn't answer my question about drugs.
Talk soon,
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 39172--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: jimaho10@gmail.com Date: September 1, 2019, 5:39 am
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I don't do any drugs, I only drink alcohol. Even yesterday is
vague. I make breakfast smoothies in full blender batches (two
quart mason jars). I obviously had one of them yesterday
morning because the empty mason jar was in the sink, but I don't
remember the experience of drinking it. Last night I spent
about an hour on google maps trying to remember the route to
work. The loss of so much memory is freaking me out. I was
upset enough that I texted my ex-wife and asked to stop by and
see her (no one has ever been closer to me than she was). I
stopped by and she seemed so foreign to me. That in and of
itself was really dis-orienting. I only have distant memories
of anything prior to yesterday morning.
#Post#: 39173--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: Jed McKenna Date: September 1, 2019, 10:00 pm
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Your experiences do sound pretty extreme. Do you have any other
symptoms? I think it may be time to be a little practical about
it. I think it wise to get some medical attention.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 39177--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: jimaho10@gmail.com Date: September 2, 2019, 5:26 am
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I am oddly calm. But I have a knowing that I am not person I
was Thursday, I have no memory of Friday. Had a wonderful walk
on the beach in Kittery, Maine yesterday and a nice ride after
that. I have never really understood what No-Self REALLY meant,
but I have to say that is about the only way I know how to
describe how I am feeling. I have all my memories, but I can't
relate to them emotionally. I am having weird experiences like
doing the dishes and not remembering where I keep the wooden
utensils. I am not suicidal or anything, no feelings of anger
or aggression. Just disoriented.
#Post#: 39178--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: Jed McKenna Date: September 2, 2019, 8:16 am
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I was thinking you had a full blown amnesia. You are making it
sound a little less serious.
So, if it's not a huge problem. Just rebuilt yourself for
participation in the remainder of the dream. SOP.... Standard
operating procedure.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 39182--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: jimaho10@gmail.com Date: September 2, 2019, 10:55 am
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Friday is gone for me, I have no memory of it. I have been
re-connecting with memories since Saturday morning, so this is
getting easier for me. I have today off and have to go back to
work tomorrow. I realized I couldn't remember the whole ride to
work (I didn't get upset or freakout) I just decided to make the
trip (1/2 hour) and as I expected it all came back to me. This
is happening all day (ie. can't remember where I keep the soup
bowls). It always comes back so I am not as shaken by it. Are
you saying this is not unusual in the awakening process? And if
so, does it tell anything about where I stand in the journey?
Thanks for your help. I need this.
#Post#: 39184--------------------------------------------------
Re: help - beatrice
By: Jed McKenna Date: September 3, 2019, 3:17 am
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I realize that this is often described in human terms as a
journey. It sort of is and sort of isn't. Once ''completed'' one
realized that there was no journey, there was no doing, there
was no ''you'' all along, and on it goes. Folks have been sold a
bill of goods that T/R is an/the end, not my experience at all.
It was a beginning, and actually the first beginning ever. After
T/R it's like pealing an onion, (tears often included as well).
The reason this has been my reality is due to the infinite
nature of Truth. Regardless of what a scientist or mathematician
might tell you, there is only one things that is really
infinite, and that is Truth. because it is infinite it contains
within it an infinite number of possibilities. They are just
waiting for revelation to you. This is where the fun begins.
Where are you on the journey? I am reluctant to say, here or
there, or assign some number to it. I'll just say, pretty far
and add very close. Specifically vague and vaguely specific.
Best I can do. Now, further.
Love ya, Jed.
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