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#Post#: 38621--------------------------------------------------
Jed Rant: A different student's report
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 7, 2019, 9:38 am
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So something really strange happened last night.
I've been generally feeling really really shitty lately. I think
it started when I started to do the identity work and getting to
understand my panic attacts. It's years since I've felt so
anxious!
So I started to wrote down my feelings and why I feel that way
and what I can do about it. Just really plain, sticking to the
"facts".
Later I was just cooking my dinner and listened to your kk
contemplations about the infinite capacity vs. finite capacity.
I haven't really understood that before. I was just playing it
on the background not really focusing but just taking in what
wants to come in.
Later that evening as I was already going to bed this
"revelation" happened... I kind of stepped out of myself.. out
of the human experience like to a "higher level" or perspective.
Suddenly I wasn't anymore that little miserable "me"or my story.
I could see "my story" and my life from a distance.
And this "new place" or perspective I was now felt familiar -
like I've forgotten that this is where or what I really am. And
it felt big.
I don't know is this the "final stage" or whatever but it
certainly felt more real (and feels) than my "humanity", my
identity, personal story etc.
And when I "remembered" (that's how it felt like bc i never
really left?) I couldn't really do anything but LAUGH HARD . and
i might have hit myself few times in the face and yell stupid
stupid stupid :Ddd lol
So this sounds really weird but that's what happened and no I
wasn't tripping on anything. (my curry maybe??)
And now I'm kinda out of my story...
Nothing changed but everything feels definitely different. ..
I'm not that "little old me" anymore.. I never was. And I'm not
in a way attached to "my story" or "my life" anymore.
I don't know will this last but yeah.. I don't know.
Another students feedback:
I'm looking all my thoughts and actions like from a distance.
Like oh - this is the human thing - that's funny. Not reacting
or taking my stuff personally. Is not continueous but the dream
is getting more and more lucid. I keep waking up in between the
lines.
It's funny how this happened because I really needed to FEEL my
humaneness to see through it. It's not all. It's just a tiny
scratch...
So, here's what's happening now. Sorry if all this is bit messy
- it's hard to put in words and I honestly am afraid that you
think I've just gone nuts.
anyway! love!! byee!
(After asking permission...)
Haha great! Yes you can definitely post it to the forum (if
there's some misspelling feel free to correct them!).
And just wanted to add that now many things you've been talking
about which didn't make sense before now make sense.. but I'll
keep on going.
Love!!
#Post#: 38623--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: A different student's report
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: July 8, 2019, 5:47 am
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:D
"I keep waking up between the lines" !! **Hypnic jerk**
("jerk" as in sudden jolting twitch through the body :) )
Tripping on curry. **big LOL**
It's all "yes, yes, yes!" from start to finish. As per.....all
these pivotal moments in my completely disjointed, incoherent
"story". Pivotal dreams...you know...the BIG ones. All coming
together...after years and years....decades. They've found
their center!
#Post#: 38624--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: A different student's report
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 8, 2019, 7:25 am
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I'm eating curry too, must be a sign.. oohh.... ::) ::) ::)
Love ya, Jed.
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