DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
INVISIBLE GURU FORUM
HTML https://jedmckenna.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Member Posts
*****************************************************
#Post#: 38393--------------------------------------------------
"A Truce With Maya"
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: June 12, 2019, 8:06 am
---------------------------------------------------------
.....or, "Learning to Flirt with the Spinning Skirt of the Event
Horizon of the Supermassive Black Hole at the Center of the
Self"
So, I'm gonna just spew stuff here as it emerges into
awareness/experience....hopefully pinned down as it revolves
around the only centralizing thing that exists: The ineffable
black hole of The Truth. Moderators? Moderate!
So black holes.....their "nature".....the presumed
characteristics of them from scientific perspective...has just
popped up almost incessantly for me of late....the last several
years. It's almost a preoccupation learning about
them.....without, of course, the depth of attention to really
understand anything from a physics point of view....but, then
again, driven by this compulsive something to read about them
from the lay perspective....and to try to tie those learned
about characteristics to this personal exploration of the
self....this nagging inkling/hunch....this reaching inward into
the dark....this trying to see "through"....this need to loosen
the perceived bonds of seemingly routinary exprience of day to
day life....the daily dream. I know its a dream, composed of
layers of colored smoke. I've gazed at it, eyes open and wide
awake and seen the presumed solidity dissolve into a translucent
construct seemingly composed of melded beads of glass....with
this omnipresent glow of clear light shining through. I know
its a dream.....and that, being a dream that ultimately has no
hands to grip with, can be gently let go of to at least enhance
the sense of intensity, energy, awe, joy (yeah....I said it :) )
thats available in the appreciation of this "world" and its
"reality". You know.....Human Adult stuff. Enough awareness of
the empty center that dispels fear and opens up a "world of
opportunity" in this stable dreamed reality. There's also the
possibility of delving further into the pleuripotential empty
center more deeply.....gently closer to the event horizon,
without spilling over to be lost (found) forever from the
discernible "self" perspective and the dreamstate which provides
the forum for its existencde. More awareness of the empty
center, perhaps, opens up the possibility of sheer flexibility
of dreaming. Infinite Games type stuff, as Jed has mentioned
before somewhere. Multiple dreams.....strange and interesting
options which, perhaps, can be experienced with a sense of pure
immersion such as is inherent in this dreamed "reality" Thing
is.....the ego and its compulsive clinging/aversion which helps
it to survive.....must be loosened. Too much ego in those
states, while being unmoored from the stability of a single
dream....could lead to spiraling off into compulsive fear-driven
hellish nightmares which *shudder*....I don't want to think
about for too long. I've tasted some of
THAT....and.....*gulp*....no thanks, I don't have the stomach
for it.
Anyways, sry...I'm spinning off into rhetorical speculation
again. It's a very interesting, though, the synchronicity of
this emerging fascination with black holes and, specifically,
supermassive black holes at the center of every galaxy....and
then, as with many others, I get this e-mail, out of the blue,
re Jed's most recent rant.....and then, off-handedly pick up
Jed's most recent book, Dreamstate....and flip to the page about
Eden and being ejected into the dream state from the void with
the flaming sword protecting against the event horizon revolving
around that very real/unreal black hole at the center of the
self.
That's why I'm here, I can only guess. I had no intention of
coming back, thinking I don't have that drive or stability to
ever find and stabilize in Enlightenment....or to even find and
stabilize into Human Adulthood.
So, why waste anyone's time here....Jed, and your more
disciplined students? And yet, there's this nagging compulsion
to explore this relationship with the void that I can't
shake....in spite of my compulsive, fear/pleasure
aversion/grasping indulgence in the blessing/curse ridden dream
of daily life. What I've seen is that.....this dreaming
existence.....gets more incredible/awesome/joyful/intense....the
more aware of/closer to my empty, self-less center. If this
place helps me find more of THAT.....then I'm in,
whole-heartedly :)
#Post#: 38396--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Jed McKenna Date: June 12, 2019, 8:32 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I appreciate you sharing, and you are quite good at expressing
it, but...(don't ya love that word) there is a 200 word limit. I
am very busy and trust you can appreciate that a certain amount
of brevity serves both yours and my purposes... and I have no
idea of what purposes I am speaking of.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 38398--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: June 12, 2019, 11:29 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Oh man.....my bad! Sry, I can be a noisy boor when excited.
Yes, brevity is best....for you.....for me....for all. And,
speaking of which, looks like this one over-extends the 1 post
per day limit (if it even gets approved). So.....once a
day.....short and sweet. Got it ;)
Thanks again, kind sir
#Post#: 38403--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Jed McKenna Date: June 13, 2019, 2:19 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Excellent....
#Post#: 38406--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: June 13, 2019, 5:30 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Ah jeez.....I remember this, now. Wow, that didn't take long.
It's amazing how the ambient tone of a place, like a forum,
shifts ones intent all by itself. And that's just it...the
intent of this place pressuring to kind of withdraw and
cultivate this perennial overriding view, all day long,
observing myself and the things I do and the things I
think....all happening all by itself, driven forward. The
script.....the act. There's lots of ugliness there/here I'd
rather not see...particularly in the context of the appearance
of the seeming impotence to change anything. Just observe the
moving machinery. Gotta remember compassion...no self judgment.
Uh oh!....speaking of which. Is there a word counter. I
wond...
:)
#Post#: 38410--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: June 14, 2019, 4:25 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Watching myself.
Observing the kind of low energy introverted psychosis as I try
to find "the sweet spot" through which awareness is effortlessly
released inward/outward....then realize I'm "trying to find" to
then try to stop trying to find. It's like thumb wrestling with
myself. Sometimes effortless awareness finds itself...and
yes...the release outward/inward!....and it is sweet.
Yesterday, during afternoon meditation session...this
aforementioned back and forth, up and down, writhing around like
an abductee captured in a canvas bag. Wrestling with thoughts
(my god! who thunk this thought thing! It's the WORST! But I
guess its the best, given what it was designed to do).
Sometimes finding the groove where I can relax and
watch....breathe. Then I see the leaves and needles of the
white oaks and southern pines gleaming gold-green in the
sunshine...and then shadows from the clouds smoothly pass
by...darkening....then brightening...in smooth undulating
waves...no edge to the transitions. My breathing slows and
becomes smooth...effortless. Something within says "this is how
you do it" :)
#Post#: 38413--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Jed McKenna Date: June 14, 2019, 5:50 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Got it, thanks for sharing.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 38422--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: June 15, 2019, 3:50 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I woke up from weird lucid dream this a.m. in which lucid me
climbed onto non-lucid me's lap, straddling myself like an
exotic dancer, intent on helping non-lucid me to wake up. I was
slapping my own face...pinching my own cheeks..."Dude, you've
got to wake up! It's time to become lucid. Now, man...now!!".
Non-lucid me, like an OD'd drug addict...head lolling around in
a listless stupor.
Vision yesterday in meditation...finally released into clear
space of the void..watching bazillions of luminous threads
spilling/rolling over/around themselves in a giant, galactic
toroidal ring. Yesterday a.m., walking to work, similar
sensation as everything around suddenly loosens and this
destabilizing feeling of rolling forward....vertiginous feeling
of "something's about to happen!" till it backed off.
*whew*...thought I was in trouble there for a sec
Intent to watch myself, from clear space, all day long.
Frequently releasing with a laugh. Its weird simultaneously
watching myself react, seemingly impotent to change it....like a
hand spasming around a live wire.
#Post#: 38424--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Jed McKenna Date: June 15, 2019, 8:55 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for sharing.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 38435--------------------------------------------------
Re: "A Truce With Maya"
By: Death_by_SallyD Date: June 16, 2019, 10:18 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Thanks, Jed....for your love.
So, really....why am I here? Ultimately, I don't know....but,
in terms of appearances....of improving my view, so to
speak....the whole "Truce with Maya"...I do know. I've shared a
bit of the sense of sheer awe (my favorite experience, by
far...particularly when blended with Infinity's peerless sense
of impeccably timed, perennially surprising, infinitely creative
sense of ironic humor).....ease....joy...seemingly boundless
energy....all inherent in what little bit of transient focus and
release I've been able to cultivate over the course of my life
in the last 20 years honing on my personal interface with
Infinity. In spite of that.....I have not been able to surpass
the compulsion associated with addiction.
Lust....intoxicants/euphoriants.....entertainment distraction.
I've been baptized.....twice. Once in a river and once in a
Southern Baptist sanctuary....been prayed over by a mascara
streaming, tongue-talking Tammy Faye equivalent,
full-of-the-Holy-Ghost snake handler....been to rehab 3
times....been through hellish withdrawals countless
times.....had the threat of hell waved in my trance induced face
by self-christened Toltec priests. Kicked out of the
house....welcome back Prodigal Son over and over i.e. you name
it....I've tried it. And I cannot get past the repeating
pattern of my addiction.
Can you help me, Jed. I feel doomed. I'm not saying fix
me...I know that's not the way. It's about sustained
emphasis....in the context of truly knowing what's at stake.
Anyways, I think that's what its about
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page