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#Post#: 38172--------------------------------------------------
Continuing
By: BreakingOut Date: May 21, 2019, 4:13 pm
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Hey, Jed. Long time no see!
My mind went up and around avoiding THE topic. Motivation
plummeted, it found other things, like ANYthing other then this.
It became obsessed with some trivial topics, thrilling through
them like there is something that could be found there. I let it
do that for some time, knowing pretty much what is happening and
why, with all that avoidance. I knew it is was futile to try to
force it to anything so I went with the flow knowing we will
come back to this. I put the tracks back on during my rides and
got the courage to come back here again.
So, now we will see what happens next!
Kisses
#Post#: 39414--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: BreakingOut Date: October 5, 2019, 6:20 pm
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So, that was a fail attempt :D
Now I am begining to see why you say only few will proceede,
when the fire starts burning you up, the ego finds itself a few
hobbies to play with, to avoid it... So only when it becomes too
painful to be living a lie, is where you get the drive to do it
further. I understand this now much better. I can't say this
ultimate drive is driving my character's actions yet, but here I
am again. So I guess I am toying with this thing again...
Missed ya.
#Post#: 39428--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: Jed McKenna Date: October 7, 2019, 10:11 pm
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Well.. you are learning more about this venture every day.
Wisdom doesn't hurt the hunt. Stick with it.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 39812--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: BreakingOut Date: December 9, 2019, 5:25 pm
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Dear Jed,
Lately I have been recieving a feedback that in social
relationships I am distant and not connecting, and I saw it too.
Hm, interesting how instead of 'my character', I began to use
'I' again. Falling back into illusion, it is like a live sand,
as I can see. As soon as the character drifts a little bit away,
it start sucking it in again.
But, back to the point of this post. What my character wanted to
say, how would she even be able to connect truly with anybody
when she has these thoughts in the mind most of the time? When
talking to people, they seem so... Fooled, it is hard to get
them very seriously. Does that mean my character wont be able to
form a relationship at all? Of course she doesnt want that, so
no wonder she has been drifting away. Thank you, love you <3
#Post#: 39816--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 9, 2019, 9:44 pm
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You kind of answered your own question. You don't want to be in
relationships and hence aren't. Why worry about ever wanting to
be in one again. If you do you will, if you don't you won't,
what's all the drama about.
From the perspective of T/R, who is there to be in a
relationship with. This thing called me is in relationship with
everyone and everything, and has never been in relationship with
anyone or anything.
Life is very simple when you let is be as it is.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 39821--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: BreakingOut Date: December 10, 2019, 5:09 pm
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There is an I and there is the character. Character is what I
get identified with, so when I say 'I', I think of my character.
The character is in pain, in pleasure, addicted, not good enough
- mashed in some drama story created from the life (from the
code), to teach it something. This, after many lessons leads to
the final leeson: to teach it who it is, the great mistery. I
guess life leads you to this by the code (program), so there is
not much I can do to make it fastet, if I am not there yet; I
can't force it.
Still, I am very blessed that my character really likes to go
around this and explore with the honest intetest; I am very
grateful for this. And I am very grateful for you.
#Post#: 39828--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: Jed McKenna Date: December 11, 2019, 5:14 am
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Thank you for you kind words.
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 39955--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: BreakingOut Date: January 19, 2020, 3:55 pm
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Being in love makes me appreciate Maya...
#Post#: 39957--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: Jed McKenna Date: January 19, 2020, 8:27 pm
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Whatever it takes... now enjoy it but never believe it's real.
It's no more real than a movie, but movies can be entertaining.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 40657--------------------------------------------------
Re: Continuing
By: BreakingOut Date: April 4, 2020, 2:00 pm
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Funny thing.
Being dumped and locked down makes me appriciate Maya a lot
less.
Actually, it makes me wanna return to this search I had going
on.
It makes me think... is the search like a getaway? Like an
escape? When the movie becomes unenjoyable, I want to get out of
the theater... is it like that?
PS: I really enjoy your e-mails. They light up my day in these
times. I hope your person is doing fine.
Love you.
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