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       #Post#: 37700--------------------------------------------------
       Prometheus
       By: anthropisces Date: April 1, 2019, 6:25 pm
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       I recently suffered something similar to a stroke. It’s a bit
       different but there's still the paralysis and other physical
       differences of that sort and I've gone from a super-athletic
       life to being able to walk without falling and to do some chores
       around the house; its been quite a life change.
       I enjoy myself most when I understand it as a next step of an
       adventure that I have no idea where it is taking me. I enjoy
       myself most when I abandon having a plan. I like watching it
       unfold instead of trying to control it.
       I enjoy myself least when I find myself taking things at their
       face value and watching myself get upset over things which seem
       to have consequences. I don't enjoy it when plans of
       self-preservation (or ideas that I am preserving someone else)
       are spooling in my head.
       Fear keeps me oscillating between truth and not-truth and I seem
       sort of condemned to repeating the cycle. No amount of spiritual
       autolysis seems to be able to permanently lay it bare. Rather I
       see it, forget that I've seen it, only to later return to
       watching the wall in Plato's cave.
       #Post#: 37703--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: Jed McKenna Date: April 1, 2019, 11:25 pm
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       When you realize that there is no you seeing anything, then the
       nothingness is going to stick.. but don't ask me to what....
       ::) ::) ::)
       Love ya, Jed
       #Post#: 37721--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: anthropisces Date: April 2, 2019, 10:32 am
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       Maybe this thing that goes around calling itself I is a
       forgetter. There have to be icons for forgetting in this,
       otherwise how might remembering be possible? There's no down
       without up. no remembering without forgetting. There are no
       characters going around remembering if there aren't characters
       going around forgetting. There is no realizing without not
       realizing.
       If someone doesn't remember the names of their loved ones it
       doesn't seem relevant to say "when you realize such and such,
       then it will stick..." That is like trying to apply tape to an
       oily surface. It doesn't matter how tried and true the recipe is
       for applying tape; it simply won't work.
       Without those things that go around calling themselves "I" that
       don't realize, how could there be those that do? One defines the
       other.
       It can't be known for sure when the eagle will land to eat this
       liver again, or how long it will take to regrow. It has been
       going on this way for quite some time and realizing doesn't seem
       to change anything about it except the emotional
       investment...all of which probably deserves another look, and
       all of which seems sure to be forgotten (unrealized).
       #Post#: 37736--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: Jed McKenna Date: April 3, 2019, 12:06 am
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       Thanks for sharing, but I can't seem to remember who you are. If
       you find out, please let me know.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 37746--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: anthropisces Date: April 3, 2019, 10:37 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I guess I had better get more serious about SA. It is not as if
       I have some other idea for what to do. I have written so much
       and I have to admit that through it I've come to some starling
       realizations. For example I've come to the understanding that I
       don't have anything to teach anyone. There have been a few other
       big surprises like that. But no matter how much SA I've done,
       the Prometheus cycle is still at play.
       For me it is like Satan's comment that every man is a happiness
       and suffering machine. The up-down is dizzying.
       Thanks very much Jed
       #Post#: 37755--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: anthropisces Date: April 3, 2019, 8:07 pm
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       There's identity with my dream character at play that I can't
       seem to shake in a way that might be called "abiding".
       There's a lot of watching of the cave wall that i also can't
       seem to shake in a way that is abiding.
       I guess I have a lot in common with someone that is trying to
       quit something addictive. Is that what I'm doing? When I "use"
       again, there's a lot of nausea. What am I using? I don't even
       know. Maybe I'm using attachment? I'm just as miserable as a a
       stereotypical junkie in an old Starsky and Hutch episode and I
       don't even know what the monkey that is on my back is.
       There's lots of temporary this and that, but the reason I called
       my thread Prometheus as that none of it is abiding.
       Is this realization that there is no I going to come from
       continued writing? I thought that I had experienced that
       realization and then I saw that it was something egoic and
       didn't keep going. In addition to SA I write about gratitude,
       miracles and coincidences.
       #Post#: 37758--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: Jed McKenna Date: April 3, 2019, 8:16 pm
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       Just stick with it.
       Love ya, Jed
       #Post#: 37799--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: anthropisces Date: April 5, 2019, 5:27 pm
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       Read the stories of a lot of people, legends, writers, speakers.
       Tried their methods. Tried them on like a set of clothes and
       wore them for years. I done a lot of methods. Spent a lifetime
       as a Method_done addict.
       Now there's Jed McKenna. Read two of his three books and am
       reading his Jed Talks 2. I read and listen to a lot of stuff
       related to Jed McKenna.
       He describes a method called Spiritual Autolysis and he provides
       some maps of whats along the road he took. He writes a lot about
       Moby Dick. I spent half the train ride from Tokyo to Kamikura
       reading about the composition of the head of a Sperm Whale in
       one of the chapters of that book. I read it because Jed seems
       different and Jed read it and he says that breakout archetype of
       Ahab is something one might want to contemplate (maybe if they
       are nauseous from watching their liver being picked out in a
       cyclic fashion).
       This is what a Method-done addiction would generate though isn't
       it? another set of methods.
       Don't see, calculate; more methods. Write down what's true, keep
       pulling the thread; more methods.
       These methods have to be the real methods right? It isn't just
       because of the addiction, the Method-done addiction.
       It's true that there's no way of knowing what's out there.
       It seems true that if a bird flies at the windshield on the
       highway that there's a chance for there to be a perception of
       swerving and ducking. Its unknown whats involved, whether there
       is a bird, a driver, a car, etc. but there is a perception of
       these. It seems true that there's other perceived phenomenon
       like that and its true that there's a perception of
       exhilaration. That exhilaration might be linked to what is being
       perceived playing on the wall of the movie theater.
       It seems to be the case that there can be a perception that a
       watching of the movie on the cave wall ends, and that there is a
       walking away from it right back into another theater in which
       the movie playing is one in which the cave wall is no longer
       being watched.
       #Post#: 37801--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: Jed McKenna Date: April 5, 2019, 11:44 pm
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       Dear Method-done-jumping-around-person:
       Thanks for sharing. I think you are more of a dabbler than a
       doer....am I right? Just guessing. I suggest finding whatever
       clicks for you and following it to it's end... just make sure
       you don't ''follow'' or dedicate yourself to any ''person''
       because the dream doesn't need more sheep.
       There are hundreds of methods and any one can take you all the
       way, provided you follow through and you are ripe. The latter
       one being the more challenging cause you have little control
       over it.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 37839--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Prometheus
       By: anthropisces Date: April 8, 2019, 8:14 pm
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       Isn't following what clicks till its end just the same as
       living?
       Following what clicks doesn't lead where it seems like it might.
       Its not in any way disappointing and further it can make things
       pretty fun to have to adapt to the unexpected. When my career
       took me to live and work in Asian countries I was blown away by
       that unexpected turn. There were unexpected limitation
       associated with the cultural differences though and these I did
       not expect. I had started out following a career in science and
       I ended up as a cultural bridge between the western and eastern
       sides of the business. That was unexpected. When they laid me
       off, and I ended up in a very different field that was
       unexpected.
       Do you mean something else?
       i'm realizing that some of the doing/dabbling has been about
       identity more than about either doing or dabbling.
       What I really need is a recipe to stop thinking. What do people
       do who don't constantly think? Are they hearing every bird
       chirp, seeing every branch blow in the breeze? Do they go around
       appreciating instead of angsting all day?
       I ride this roller coaster of understanding and forgetting and
       the voids are filled by thinking.
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