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#Post#: 3413--------------------------------------------------
Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 27, 2014, 1:16 am
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Dear Members:
The word 'Guru' simply means 'teacher'. Let's use teacher as
Guru has been pretty abused and is loaded.
First question. Do you need one? Yes and no. (doesn't take Jed
long to get slippery does it?). I mentioned on the previous
forum that if you were a right dick before an enlightenment
experience you would be a right dick after. Enlightenment cures
nothing, and can actually make some psychological disorders
worse. One of the prerequisites to mental health is a tool
required for T/R, the propensity to question, everything and
everyone.
A good teacher will not put up with your b.s., not lull you into
a somnambulistic state through hypnotic droning, will not turn
you into a simplistic bliss ninny. In addition, he/she should,
IMHO, be T/R themselves. How are you going to evaluate these
matters?
Well, let me take you back to 'Do you need one?'. How mature are
you? Really, how mature do you think you are.. how adult are
you? Do you go around blaming everyone for your ills, do you
cling to past hurts, pains, even success, are you quick to anger
and defend yourself or a precious concept... perhaps
self-righteous about your belief system... then you probably
need a teacher because you are not mature enough to find your
own way. Your forest of mind is just too cluttered with weeds.
However, taking on a teacher, or a teaching perhaps, doesn't
mean you marry it. You take it, use it and chuck it. That's the
drill. Nisagardatta was very good at throwing people out of his
little loft. He wouldn't tolerate much stupidity and would only
let you come about a dozen times. If you didn't have it by then,
he would tell you to leave and make room for someone else. Damn
good policy.
Do you need me? Well, I think many of you could use me
productively, but you don't 'need' me. You don't really 'need'
anything. The 'needing' implies an adding something. I'm all for
subtracting something, or everything.
One of the reasons for my obscurity is I specifically don't want
people attaching to me. It's not good for either of us. I am
here to be used and discarded, as is anything I teach.
A member asked if T/R always had to be about angst and pain
(paraphrasing). I responded that realization is like a gentle
spring breeze. The pain is only from your inability to let go,
nothing else, just the pain of clinging, and it's always
clinging to what doesn't exist... making what isn't more
important than what is. Hence, most experience pain and
disruption.
Your love for family and job seem to be diminishing, what do do?
Love is always there, but your attachments are being realized
and dropped. Once again, pain will come only if you cling to the
past and your ideas of 'what should be'.
I ask members what they want, what they really want, and they
all lie. They tell me what they think they want or what they
think I want to hear them say. You only want two things and it's
dog simple.
On the plus side you want happiness and expressing the other
side in the negative, you want to be free of suffering. That is
all anyone who has ever been born wants. Bottom line. There are
a zillions stories made up around this, but that's the bottom
line. Absolute!
Why do you want T/R? You think it will give you these two
things. Just slice everything as thin as you can and it comes
down to that, happiness sans suffering. Like catching
butterflies on your shoulder, T/R has a tendency to duck from
your grasp.
I would suggest that very few of you actually want T/R and I
know this because you would have it if you really wanted it. You
would do whatever it took to get it and it would be yours, BUT,
you are not being honest. You want T/R as a tool that will
relieve your un-happiness and suffering. This is evident because
you always talk about those two items. I would guess that 90% of
what you write is about pain and grief. The expressed or implied
questions is how can I stop it, oh, and by the way, I want T/R
also.
This is not intended as a criticism, but an observation
resulting from my lifetime experiences in this field. Take it to
heart, just for a moment and see it it's true for you. No good
or bad, I just what you to get what's true for you. I may be
wrong and I always welcome intelligent questioning of my
apparent authority. (only apparent). But don't be surprised if I
come back like a bowling ball.
It's much easier to sell a fancy wrapped package promising
future bliss (like in the hereafter....hmm...) than the reality
that you are a telling yourself a bunch of lies and waking up to
that is the first step, one that very few have the courage to
take.
You are the final authority on this, you and only you. What do
you want? If I said 'Here is T/R but you will be miserable for
the rest of your life', would you take it? I'm not so sure you
would. That means that you have placed happiness higher that
T/R. Once again, nothing wrong with that, but T/R requires
fierce honesty.
This is the point where H/A comes into play. H/A is all about
being a sane person. You lack the need to defend, you have a
degree of maturity in your relationships, really nothing
unusual, it's just common sense, but not very common. You have
the skill of being able to let go, to drop attachments almost
before they occur. This will result in T/R being more gentle on
you IF you want to go for it.
Most members seek T/R to relieve their pain thinking that 'I'll
get T/R and all will be just grand, then I can be an adult and
happy'. O.K., but what if, like so many things in our world,
that is completely bass akwards. What if you would be far better
of finding H/A first, then go for the big banana, if you want
to, and you may not chose to.
So, some justification and explanation. Many times, almost all
in fact, I respond to members with methods, suggestions, ideas,
etc., that do not directly aim at T/R. They could even be called
therapeutic in some sense. This is because almost everyone has
put the cart before the horse. They want something (T/R) but are
not willing to pay the price (H/A).
There are people in India called Masts. They have become
realized and are walking, talking and living in a Godly
awareness. Great, but they can't do anything for themselves, and
I mean nothing. People have to literally take care of them.
Their systems where completely overloaded by realization when
they didn't have the maturity to handle it.
I hear from members that they are involved in petty dealings, he
loves me, she loves me, doesn't love me, doesn't do the dishes,
hate mom, mom hates me, damn, have to take the dog out, on and
on and with little variation. So, I ask myself 'Self... what
would Maharaj do?'. Hmmm.....
Back up for a moment and look at your writings, your lives, your
wantings, desires, clingings, hates, loves, peeves, and ask
yourself, 'Are these evidence of one who is ready for T/R?'
Fight with your loved ones, hurt them all you want, fly off the
handle in pointless rages, argue over nothing of any
consequence... do as you want, but remember, don't do it once
and learn from it, repeat the same behavior over and over and
over. On your deathbed you may just wonder WTF was I doing.
I suggest you DIE NOW to all this ridiculously immature behavior
and thus pave the way for something that may be of value, your
choice of course, but make that choice from a position of as
much maturity as possible.
How do you change? It just keeps repeating and repeating, ad
nauseum. How the hell can you do this with such regularity and
not miss a beat, but you can't reach out and forgive, can't let
go, can drop old hurts?
Yeh, I'm getting over my wife leaving me. Sorry to hear that,
when did she leave? 22 years ago. Yeh, I know what you mean.
Wanna play marbles (sorry, got none left.).
Do not feel you are alone in this, you are NOT.
You can do all kinds of therapy and some are of value, most
aren't. But, what happens when a therapy succeeds. My
observation is that a person just grows up, just like that, they
make a decision, nothing more.
A decision was all that put then into their ridiculous
unproductive patterns and it's just that which gets them out.
One day, maybe very soon, you will look around and contemplate,
'Is this what I really want to be like? Am I living optimally'?
You may answer 'F**K NO!
Fed up can be a very useful place to be. If I could push you
there I would. Some will go back and some forward. That's just
the way it is.
STOP and THINK now, have you reached that point of just being
fed up with the silliness you exhibit and experience, the shear
stupidity and immaturity of the way you are living? The endless
reaching out for someone to solve your problems. The 'I can't do
this, must do that, but won't get this and he will do that if I
do this and on and on and on and on.....'.
Do you have any idea what you look like and sound like? I mean
really. O.K. go cover it up, dope, booze, chocolate, unrewarding
sex, whatever you want. I don't want for you but ONE thing, to
BE AWARE.
You can always say, 'I am better than this and deserve better,
and it starts with me.' Remember, only a decision, that's all.
It may require a little momentum but it's always, even after 20
years of therapy, just a decision to change. YOU make it, nobody
else, just you. Certainly not me.
I don't want you to see it as I do, I want you to see it as it
is for you, but be ruthlessly honest with yourself, the one
person you should always be honest with (at least as best you
can).
Warriors, not wimps are what is called for. Know where you are
at and then go from there. If you don't know where you are at,
you are already lost. Too many like that in our world. Stop,
look around, and in this matter, DO NOT BE GENTLE, you can catch
up on that later. Be an adult first.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 3417--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: Smiling
Date: October 27, 2014, 3:12 am
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Dear Jed,
Reading this whole rant, I felt cold in my body. Still do. Not
sure why. I need to really think about what you ranted.
BTW, I am surprised to know about those Masts in India. If I'd
seen one without knowing it, I might have taken him/her as a
fraud, 'How could an enlightened being not able to take care of
himself/herself?!'
OK, enough about 'others', i will focus on me.
Thank you.
Love, Smiling
#Post#: 3423--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: jacoba
Date: October 27, 2014, 4:20 am
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thank you Jed, you put into words what I vaguely felt: 'don't be
further than you are'.
#Post#: 3429--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: Matthijs
Date: October 27, 2014, 5:03 am
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sobering.. thank you!
#Post#: 3435--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: Jesse
Date: October 27, 2014, 6:58 am
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Jed:
In the past you have seemed a little reluctant to field H/A
questions directly, so this is interesting to me.
Some time ago I realized H/A is all I've been after in the first
place, so went back through each of the books in the trilogy to
collate all the H/A-relative information. (I have a text-file of
a handful of great passages I'm more than happy to share, by the
way, in case any members here are interested.)
Anyway, the book-Jed seems to suggest the transformation is
always tied to some kind of uh, calamity, if I recall.. One of
the hallmarks of the "first step" or some such..
What are your thoughts on that?
#Post#: 3437--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: lynnth
Date: October 27, 2014, 7:34 am
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#Post#: 3441--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: Dan
Date: October 27, 2014, 9:17 am
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sticky this one Jed... you nailed it. It's the post I've been
waiting to read and think everyone will find value in this
#Post#: 3442--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: know1
Date: October 27, 2014, 9:21 am
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None of what you are saying in this rant resonates Jed, I
remember it, but that is like a dream I had. To Jesse, yes, my
experience was that it takes a calamity, for me it took about 8
to 10 major calamities before I got the message and when I say
calamities I mean the top 3 or 4 on every therapist's top ten
list of painful life experiences.
The reason I know this and know exactly where I am is that the
latest calamity, my daughter falling 20 feet onto concrete and
shattering her feet, back, sternum, hand and being partially
paralyzed so that she still, after over a year is using a
catheter to go pee, that event I saw from the beginning, the
moment it happened, as what was. Shortly after I saw it as an
opportunity, a gift. Every other calamity I perceived from the
victim role, a child. I finally got it, loud and clear.
Because I treated this calamity in a new way and interacted with
her from this new perspective, it had a radically different
outcome. Through this event, my angry, bulimic, drug and alcohol
addled, childlike 25 year old child, awakened, she is now a
radiant person, a pleasure to be around and converse with, full
of gratitude and has a path. This calamity was nothing but a
flower opening and my response to it allowed me to witness it
clearly (not hinder it with an ego's agenda) for exactly what it
was.
I spend every minute of every day working on this, it's not a
hobby, I am not a dilettante, it's been consistent for over 3
years, I am crashing down a muddy slope at breakneck speed and I
love it, can't get enough, don't want to go to sleep because
life is amazing and boring which is amazing. I love being alone,
the greatest feeling ever because when I'm alone I am one with
everything, when the other ego's show up I am reminded of how
tedious it is to be separate, I can only take so much of that
before it's time to disappear again.
Right now it's Monday (there's a Monday?) morning (there's a
morning?) and I'm (there's an I?) in love, with consciousness...
#Post#: 3446--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 27, 2014, 11:44 am
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Thank you for all your good work.
Keep in mind that absolutely anything is possible. There are
certain patterns that tend to repeat, but seeking a pattern or
anticipating one can block what's happening in this moment, and
that is all that matters, if anything does.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 3468--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed rant on the Guru for You and H/A
DIR By: Smiling
Date: October 27, 2014, 5:41 pm
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Thank you Jed for your last input.
Necessary reminder for me.
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