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#Post#: 36192--------------------------------------------------
Dunkdivee
DIR By: dunkdivee
Date: November 2, 2018, 5:49 am
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I'm in the dark night of the soul, except it's lasting a lot
longer than just one night.
I get that the only way to go through this is to truly give up.
Too bad its not something I can do, it's something that has to
happen.
Feeling incredibly powerless, probably because I am but it's a
terrible feeling at the moment.
#Post#: 36194--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 3, 2018, 1:31 am
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Hi there and welcome to the forum
Yes, DNOTS is inevitably more like dark month or two or the
soul. The only way out is to not fight it and go right through
the middle. Not easy.
Just do the best you can which is all one can expect. If it's
any consolation, your are not the first to experience this, and
the other side is.... well.. it's the other side. You will enjoy
it immensely.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 36254--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: dunkdivee
Date: November 15, 2018, 5:29 am
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I want to start therapy soon, preferably group therapy.
I'm carrying a lot of shame around that I need to go through.
Working through those feelings in a group seems like a good
option, because when I'm alone it's very easy to repress them
all.
I've had a few moments in my life where I broke through the
clouds and ended up on the other side where I felt free, in wide
open space.
Been living a life of quiet desperation for too long now.
All the thinking and rationalizing in the world can't release a
single feeling.
#Post#: 36255--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 15, 2018, 7:55 am
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You are right about logic and it's failures. So... what would
you do instead.
Group therapy, it's very dependent on the models, theories and
presenters. It can be a double edged sword.
I suggest caution, but I also suggest action.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 36261--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: dunkdivee
Date: November 16, 2018, 4:56 am
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Yea, don't think I'll go through with the therapy. I thought I'd
need it to really get to the core of all the pain.
But last night I focused on that feeling and I got right in the
middle of it, crying harder than I've ever done, snot dripping
on the floor, it was glorious.
Didn't go all the way though, as today I am feeling incredibly
angry, like 'kill every fucking person I see'-anger.
#Post#: 36262--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 16, 2018, 7:44 am
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Dear Snot Dripping Angry Person:
Super! I love it, now do not let up.... stick with it.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 36452--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: dunkdivee
Date: December 6, 2018, 4:52 am
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Going to a psychologist after all, it's very hard to do the work
on my own consistently.
Having a psych meeting every week or so should really help with
that.
Psychology, for the most part, is trading in a story for a
better one imo.
I'm well aware of this, but there are plenty of gold nuggets in
there, though.
Having a personal story is restrictive, no matter what the story
is, better off not having one.
It's really incredible how attached I am to it, to the point
that I would die before giving it up.
#Post#: 36453--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 6, 2018, 6:07 am
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If you want to die before giving up your b.s., then you probably
will. Seems rather silly to me, but what do I know?
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 36967--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: dunkdivee
Date: January 8, 2019, 5:45 am
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Some things that caught my attention.
In response to Escapist claiming T/R, you responded with:
'Welcome home my friend.'
You dismissed Frits' concerns by questioning his
reasoning/motives for bringing them up, instead of answering
directly.
You said 'My job is .., not to rate person's progress or
attainment.' but you end your post with 'In my experience and
observations, the fact that anyone would engage in such a debate
is a petty good indicator that they are not, but hey, what do I
know?'
#Post#: 36968--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dunkdivee
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: January 8, 2019, 6:06 am
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and.... what does that mean in your world? Does it have any
effect on you? I suggest you stick with your own journey. If you
have a specific question for me, I might be able to assist.
However, to be of any value, it must be a question about you and
your experiences. Looking in is much more productive than
looking out.
Love ya, Jed
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