DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
INVISIBLE GURU FORUM
HTML https://jedmckenna.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Member Posts
*****************************************************
#Post#: 35792--------------------------------------------------
A bug
DIR By: guest1696
Date: September 18, 2018, 10:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hi Jed
Let me rant for sometime here. I feel like a vagabond. I have
nothing to look up to. I seem to have deep attachment to safety,
risk, and corporate. I can sense it. Yet, I'm aware and I can
give it away. My body is overgrown. I don't exercise regularly,
I eat when Iam bored. I'd rather die than get married and
torture someone.
I have read all your books. The trilogy helped me in overcoming
my misunderstandings on spirituality. I can see through things
now - if someone is motivated by fear. I feel people like a wet
sponge. I feel that people consider their self image like a real
estate. While it is unsettling to me to have a sense of self
image, others find it comforting to have such predictability.
I'm here & I'm bored. I'm constantly in search of motivation.
What is there for me ? What to do with me ? How to make life a
little more amusing and interesting ? What would you do ?
#Post#: 35793--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: guest1696
Date: September 18, 2018, 10:56 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Just continuing
I'm a chance : the roles I play were someone else's "inspired"
or "absorbed" stuff. Nothing is mine. There is nothing that is
Mine. It's all "inherited".
Except the fact that I'm aware and reflecting that something
resembles "my awareness", other than that the skin is also a
borrowed resource.
I look like my mother,
act like my brother,
shout like my father,
cry like my sister,
act like my neighbour,
try to dress up like an actor (I don't. Used it for rhyming).
;)
I have absorbed your writings alot. So may be I'm trying to look
like an enlightened guy in words. I have no clue what iam and
who iam. When I wonder - its nothing.
How to detox ?
#Post#: 35794--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: guest1696
Date: September 18, 2018, 11:13 am
---------------------------------------------------------
As per your writings - I'm posing a question to myself.
Can I face death? Theoretically (may be); Practically not sure.
Am I ready to give up this body right here and right now -
Definitely not- I'm an attention seeker. I seek attention of the
greatest and brightest. Since you are the so called Enlightened
guy - so I'm seeking your attention to reinforce my sense of
self image. "Subtle psuedo enlightened sense of self image". You
are the "GURU".
I'm like "Look at me- give me your attention-pity me - I'm so
pathetic me- If you dont pity me or say good things about me -
I''ll slander myself more- More masochism - Body a temple of God
- Torture God to rain pity and mercy"
My use of attention seeking words is also a tactic to gain
attention. How can one be at peace with this beast in bed?
#Post#: 35799--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 19, 2018, 2:14 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Well.... hello dear unworthy piece of everyone else. Think you
are different, special... well you are! Cause I don't just write
to anyone, I am very, very selective. (well... not really). Now,
tell me, where do you think other people get their ''personality
clothing'' from. There is only one market for such things,
everyone who doesn't appear to be you is a mini-market selling
their own brand of b.s. This means everyone, from parents on
down, or up, depending upon your perspective.
Once one reaches adulthood they have a pretty complete and
complex wardrobe. The balance of their lives is spent taking
care of that wardrobe and fiercely defending anyone who points
out their fashion no-nos.
Realizing that you, and everyone else with very few exceptions,
are caught up in this game. You sound like you are pretty aware
of it and that is great. Now, forgive and let go of everything,
including that drama queen you.
Write anytime,
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35816--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: guest1696
Date: September 20, 2018, 9:21 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hola Jed
I’m going to share a deepest and really fearful experience till
date. It was just a glimpse and my mind had posthumously wrapped
it with fear.
I have been pondering your writings theoretically and watching
excerpts on YouTube. I was pretty buzzed with your vocabulary.
That was my first bad trip of cannabis. Guess who had a night
mare ?
Every thought of mine got smashed into pieces. I couldn’t
complete, no ground, nothing. Blank nothing.
Then I remembered you and Brett - asked if this was true ?
Truth : the thought of it alone stayed - Gods, Parents, Society
, Me , Body everything went away.
I felt everything was an assumption.
Nothing is really a thing - but assumption at some level. I felt
I could die right there.
Funnily I was reminded of my mother and how she will cry if my
name came in news paper in the obituary. It didn’t matter much -
as much I tried to attach importance.
I was reminded of my personal ego - how disrespectful I would be
to myself if I died there. That was the nail in the coffin. Well
fear rose.
Since then my ego is keeping me away from any serious truth talk
or mind altering stuff.
It portrays that memory in negative shades - “what could have
happened.”
I know as I see it now - in more clarity, that it was a certain
loss of control over senses. My ego conveniently extrapolated it
to Death 💀
And the interesting part was I didn’t have any basis or the
rock to hold on to.
I could have drifted
#Post#: 35822--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 21, 2018, 2:25 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hi A:
Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it helps to talk about it.
However, drugs are more of the problem than the answer. You may
have touched the ''hem of God's cloak'' but only in passing and
certainly not permanent. Find a technique, one that suits you,
and stick with it.
Write me anytime.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35826--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: guest1696
Date: September 21, 2018, 6:16 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Such a deep depth - and emptiness
There is no depth because there is no basis of height.
Yes, the so called experience flew away, for good.
I feel less settled than before. May be a part of me fried up.
It’s neither good nor bad. I’m wearing a costume - a looser one
than before. The glue is slightly weak - or so it appears.
I remember “I”. I remembered asking questions on who is me ,
what is me.
There is no stable me - yet it’s ok. I can look at fears. I can
talk aloud. Just a little grown up that way. But not done.
Fear of unknown exists. I’m yet to decipher and see my exact
fear. Let me see.
Many things do not matter as they did long ago.
#Post#: 35827--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: guest1696
Date: September 21, 2018, 6:18 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Or may be I’m wearing a Jed like costume - *a charlatanic
chameleon*- while writing down all this . Hehe
#Post#: 35829--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 21, 2018, 6:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
As long as a body appears a costume will be one it. Just that
way. However, one can see through that costume on self and
others.... obviously on self is the priority.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35835--------------------------------------------------
Re: A bug
DIR By: guest1696
Date: September 21, 2018, 9:25 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Thank you Jed.
Seeing one’s own situation is a priority.
Writing things down is surprisingly helping. I was not very
conscious of my boundaries - limitations. As soon as I put my
views on paper 📝 it did show some interesting circles of
thought.
I’m using this tool for clarity. I felt I had a ground again.
I’m way deep in sleep - semi conscious and too comfortable in my
skin 😴 Haven’t realised it - but wondering and slowly
gently rocking myself to wakefulness. 🤥
Writing down works for more clarity. My costume says I shouldn’t
slander anyone including me - as it releases pain inducing
Chemicals in my bountiful beautiful body. Sugar coat everything.
Spread love 💖 and never cause pain and affliction to you
or others around you. Such a beautiful sermon I say - no wonder
I ingested many spiritual sutras from ....
Doesn’t matter.
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 4
DIR Next Page