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#Post#: 35230--------------------------------------------------
The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: DanJ
Date: August 4, 2018, 1:39 pm
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Hi Jed,
I know in your books you allude to Maya, that 'meddlesome Hindu
deity', as I believe you call the Goddess of Illusion.
Ramakrishna would always say 'Maya is women and gold', and that
you need to overcome attachment to these two things to make any
progress on the path to wisdom/liberation.
I was wondering if you agree with this, and if you could provide
any practical advice on how to get over them. Addiction to
money and women in one form or another has tormented me to the
point of desperation throughout my life, as I'm sure it does to
us all, and I can't seem to make any headway in resolving it.
To quote a popular song's lyrics, 'all the gold and the guns and
the girls couldn't get you off'. I understand this, that there
is ultimately no way to satisfy my desires, but I can't just
eliminate them either. It's just a never ending cycle of
wanting what or who I can't have and being depressed about it.
Is there anything you could suggest?
Thanks
Dan
#Post#: 35234--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 5, 2018, 12:13 am
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Hi Dan:
Thank you for your thoughtful questions. The things of this
dream, often called Maya, are a distraction as you realize.
While ''appearing'' to be''here'' and a ''you'' they cannot be
avoided. I love Maya and am an endless admirer of her tricks and
traps. She is truly brilliant and while ''here'' any effort to
overcome her is doing exactly what she wants you to do... waste
energy that would be better spent on seeking the realization of
Truth, your True Nature. That is the only one true desire
(de-off, sire-father) and all else are just shallow Mayanic
tricks. While in this dream you will have desires. They are not
real but certainly appear to be.
Your desire for money is a quest for security and continuity...
that you will be safe and the dream will go on and on. The real
you does go on forever as it has no start and thus no end. There
is nothing more secure than the real you. What you seek, you
seek for a dreamed character which will never be fully satisfied
and will drop the body at some future point. That's just the way
it is.
You are attaching importances to your desires and they
inevitably originate in your childhood. The strange trick with
desires, with one exception, is that desiring tends to push the
wanted thingy away from you. Not caring tends to open up the
possibilities which include realization of those ''desired''
thingys.
There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting sex and money. Of
course, I don't encourage hurting anyone in the process of
meeting your desires. But there is something that doesn't work
for you otherwise you.
Care to share a little more about you upbringing, ''spiritual''
studies, readings, etc. Give me a little more to chew on.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35236--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 5, 2018, 1:27 am
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Hi Dan:
I wrote another response, lost it then found it. It may add to
your knowledge or confuse you even further.... I prefer the
latter.
Maya is a lovable ****. Everywhere in this dream. She will pull
and use energy that might be spent on better things, like
seeking T/R. Early on I found that if I love and admire her she
just doesn't bother me. I do understand you concerns though and
I think you are lying about them.
You don't really want sex and money, you want acceptance/love
and the assurance of continuity in the dream. Within the dream
is the context that you are currently in. The more you
understand what is going on the less you will be affected by it.
I have met very few circumstance which could not be
''corrected'' (not the right word) by awareness. It's all
entertainment and while you could just be enjoying it you are
continually experiencing the arising of importances installed in
the non-existent past mostly by well meaning, immature and
incompetent people and organizations. Forgive them, they know
not what they do (and did).
How do you deal with any dream? I suggest the ultimate solvent,
awareness.
Now, where do all your problems go when there is no ''you'' or
''I''? Everything in this dream hinges on that concept, and
there is no ''I''. Try to find it and you will fail for a
thousand lifetimes.
All you desires will go unsatisfied because you are missing that
one desire that will take care of it all... the desire (de-of
the, sire-father) for your source, your origins, the true
reality, and any other word folks might use to describe the
indescribable.
There is a way of being in this dream where you see all
(including Maya) as a pointer back to that true desire. Maya
will never stop showing you what isn't... now focus on what is
and in the meantime enjoy the show... it's all entertainment.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35285--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: DanJ
Date: August 6, 2018, 8:45 pm
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Thank you for the feedback Jed.
Regarding what you said about money, yes security is definitely
a part of it. Not sure about the 'wanting continuity in the
dream' aspect, though. The dream/nightmare will probably
continue regardless, but having money just makes it more
tolerable.
I do completely agree with your comment about sex/women- it
really is all about love and acceptance.... it struck a chord
reading that. If I really like or 'love' someone, it becomes of
paramount importance what they think about 'me' (or this
character I'm portraying).
I also agree that there seems to be an inverse proportion or
ratio between how much I care and how much of that affection I
receive. But is there really a way to care less about someone's
opinion who I hold in very high regard and feel that intense
attraction to? Is it all just ego validation?
#Post#: 35286--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 6, 2018, 9:27 pm
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Not all about ego, just 100%.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35399--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: DanJ
Date: August 12, 2018, 5:25 pm
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So please, is there any advice you can give to help me destroy
this mind which has caused such misery for so long?
#Post#: 35403--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 13, 2018, 12:22 am
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Good question. While you still appear to be in the body,
destroying the mind will make you totally dysfunctional and you
will probably be locked up. Drug addicts are a good example of a
destroyed mind. It's not what you want. You want understanding,
of the mind, its patterns, its games and the world it creates.
The starting point is that ultimate solvent, awareness. Practice
taking the position of an impartial/disinterested observer.
Don't expect your world to change over night (but it might).
Just be patient and you will find from that witness perspective,
emotions, ups and downs, etc. will smooth out rather
surprisingly.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35578--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: DanJ
Date: August 26, 2018, 7:41 pm
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I can take the witness perspective, but I'm still identified
with this terrible 'me' who is obviously being tormented by the
universe itself. It's becoming more and more obvious that I am
a joke that someone or something is getting entertainment out of
psychologically tormenting. No, I'm not in a North Korean
gulag, but I am in a pretty f-ed up place where things are
getting worse.
I hate doing the woe is me thing; ultimately almost everyone on
this forum seems to write to you because they are dealing with
their own personal world of s--t. It's just that there doesn't
seem to be any actual solution to any of it. Like the hope for
real change is a complete illusion, and it's a fundamental part
of the great lie. Hope was the last thing to come out of
Pandora's box, after all.
So all the spiritual autolysis and meditation and awareness
stuff doesn't amount to anything at the end of the day. Find out
your 'true nature' is what you all say, but it's such a bill of
goods. I know I am the joke, and the one who watches the joke,
but where does that get me? Nowhere but here.
#Post#: 35581--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 27, 2018, 1:41 am
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Dear Tortured One:
Sounds that you want a quick fix.... can happen but usually
takes another trauma to shock you out of your current trauma.
Obviously that second matter can become an issue all on it's
own. Yes, all hope is false hope... so what? Nothing every
changes? Well... from the perspective of T/R that is absolutely
true.
How long did it take you to weave this current mess that you
appear to be in? What are you willing to do to rise above it?
How long do you think it will take? What is one thing you could
do (doesn't have to be big) NOW?
Remember, almost all the things that need changing come under
the category of ''thinking''... with a few lying in
''circumstance''.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35592--------------------------------------------------
Re: The insufficient 'I'
DIR By: DanJ
Date: August 27, 2018, 7:31 am
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I wouldn't say I'm just looking for a quick fix. I've been knee
deep in this 'awakening' stuff for 20 years, and I'm getting
nowhere. I constantly think suicidal thoughts, and I'm not
looking for sympathy, but it's just the truth. When I was 19 I
tried to kill myself by jumping off a 3 story building because I
thought the universe was indicating it (I know how crazy that
sounds but it's a long story) and just ended up breaking my
back. I don't know if I need to try again from a higher one.
It seems like it might be the only way for things to change.
Ramakrishna only got his enlightenment when he was about to
decapitate himself with Kali's sword.
Again, I know it's all relative and many people have it much
worse than me. I'm just really over feeling depressed and
impotent all day long, with addictions and cravings that can
never be satisfied; I don't know what I can do NOW, other than
sit on my couch or lie on my bed staring at the f--cking
ceiling.
I would absolutely want to change my thinking, i know it's so
important as you say, but I've tried for so long and am
obviously too mentally weak. I cannot stop the negative
thoughts that are constantly besieging me, and taking the
witness perspective simply hasn't worked.
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