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#Post#: 1464--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 20, 2014, 3:09 am
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Dear Syrian:
Your UG quote is very good.
All questions come from believed in answers. (as UG well said)
Serious scrutiny disintegrates all questions.
Therefore, scrutiny gets one rid of all beliefs - answers.
I is just a bundle of beliefs.
=>scrutiny kills I
#Post#: 3011--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: syrian
Date: October 18, 2014, 5:08 am
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Still at it, whenever I find strength to do it - or rather,
whenever I don't have strength not to - but my focus has been
very weak lately. Maybe worse than ever. Except this little
spontaneous meditation breakdown where all meaning ceased to
exist, my body felt crazy and neck like breaking, nothing
notable. I haven't killed any lies in a while, I'm wallowing in
them.
I've started working in this little place at the mall. I see
thousand of people daily, I make hundreds of eye contacts. And
it's there in all of them, Jed. All of them.
Lie. Confusion. Guessing. Pretending. Acting. Some act better,
some are obvious amateurs. Some really believe their roles.
Nobody has a fucking clue. Some try to act like they do, but
they're only trying to convince themselves and they're not doing
very good job of it.
The only reason I'm able to recognize it in the first place is
that it's in me as well.
Scary thing is that it may be ALL there is.
I hate it, because I'm doing exactly the same thing. I don't see
an end to this. Hell... I don't even see the next step. I'm it
drowning in it.
I'm, disgusting.
See ya later.
#Post#: 5021--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: syrian
Date: November 23, 2014, 6:02 am
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Oh well. Here we go again. It's still coming to me in different
forms. So much of it in your rants lately. I wrote:
"The subject of releasing a tiller has been coming to me lately
again and again.
... blablablabla... no wonder it doesn't work. Letting this
thing go for now."
Letting go of finding out how to let go. Like it's fucking
science.
Other than obvious silliness that wasn't as obvious at the time,
this shit seems to be vital and can't be skipped.
Every time I let go of anything, I let go of "I", because it
consists of these attachments. Just space.... I isn't there
without them. Every time I give up the control in any situation,
there is very strong energy shift and stuff just is what is. And
somehow it's pleasant, even when it's not.
This ME seems to feed on all these petty useless resistances to
change what happens. I'm addicted to them. And I doesn't even
want to change them, it just use bitching about it to prolong it
existence.
Scratch that. I am not addicted to them, I am them. I is them.
Without this commentary, there is nobody, just what happens and
no need for me. There is no "cleaner and better and closer to
T/R I" without recently released attachement, there's just the
thing without anyone attached to it (and maybe there is not even
that thing).
There must be tens of thousands of these bitches. From as small
(seriously embarrassing, don't laugh) as squishing a tomato on
skillet to as big as tens of years of family relationships.
I'm a milionfold tentacle octopus.
No way to kill it. It grows back quicker than I can cut it.
"Attachments and other options"... no thanks.
#Post#: 5307--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: syrian
Date: November 27, 2014, 10:08 am
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Just so you guys know, I have nothing to do with syrian hackers
attacking this forum. I was just playing with my nickname and
this is what came up at the time I was registering. ;D alright
then. Further ya'll.
#Post#: 5308--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 27, 2014, 10:25 am
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;)
#Post#: 8210--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: syrian
Date: January 13, 2015, 2:39 pm
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Oh Steven, you foxy little dragon ;).
Steven is my new imaginary friend I direct my writings to. He's
cool, wears glasses and I like him.
Everything I write as true reliably turns into **** within few
minutes/days, therefore writing anything seems futile
beforehand, but I still try to. I produce lots of **** and wish
it was marketable. Oh wait, new-age movement...
Every-thing. ****.
What I just wrote seems pretty solid, let's see within a few
days.
So long, Steve.
EDIT: Yup, already.
#Post#: 13058--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: syrian
Date: July 19, 2015, 3:16 pm
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Do I have to fall in love with my self before I can see through
it's apparent existence? Lately, it feels like hating it and
trying to get rid of it are THE two things that have been
keeping it in place ... and that's what I've been doing all
along. "Self is an illusion" became just an empty, automatic
mantra triggered at sight of "self" in any way or form.
"Self cannot get out of self" kind of thing.
#Post#: 13066--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 20, 2015, 2:53 am
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Don't expect your jailor to hand you a set of escape plans,
unless you happen to be Joaquin Guzman and the jail is south of
the border. Gotta love that one.
So, no need to love the illusion of you, loving or hating
anything will keep it in place. You need to see through it. Get
that the little you who seems so darn important is merely a
collection of memories and thoughts... so intangible it's
embarrassing... realize there is nothing to love or hate,
nothing but the Truth of what you are... endlessly open and
available capacity for all that appears to appear, which is all
anything ever does.
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 17224--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: syrian
Date: January 4, 2016, 3:08 pm
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Jed, I feel like a butter free cookie.
Three year realtionship over, all future plans on fire. Falling.
I shouldn't be surprised, it was coming, I was slowly
disappearing piece by piece with no one left to hold, or want to
hold things together.
I really wonder if "love" is just a drug. Seems so. Was everyone
I ever "loved", including my family, just a source of good
feelings? Is that all there is to it? Is mourning the loss of a
loved one just a withdrawal symptom from taking away good
feelings?
It feels very lonely, very hopeless, very fucked up.
#Post#: 17235--------------------------------------------------
Re: syrian
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: January 4, 2016, 10:13 pm
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Human love is completely made up. Now, can you let go of you
love of ''hope''? It's just a form of dope.
Love ya, Jed.
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