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#Post#: 34389--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: April 6, 2018, 5:02 am
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I don't have a clue what you are talking about.... really...
please explain in plain English.
How can anything become ''one'' when ''One'' is all there is?
Don't confuse the simplest thing in .... well... just ''in''.
Thanks in advance.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 34868--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: June 4, 2018, 1:46 pm
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Jed, I have a huge sticking point. I often feel terrible bc I
don't know what to live for. Inside me, there's a deep feeling
of being lost and that I will never feel like I belong here on
this planet, some feeling that tells me that I belong nowhere. I
feel unable to have intimate and reliable relationships and at
the same time I think that has to do with me not being willing
to really get involved in another person's life and care for
someone else. I feel like that has to do with some sort of deep
egocentrism - like I'm just not interested in other persons. to
be honest, I believe that I'm a truly selfish person and I would
want to change it, but don't know how. I'm trying to write
everything down to get it out of my head and to observe how my
ego is working, but it seems like its not helping - ever and
ever the same topics again and it feels like I am wasting my
life being trapped in myself and writing is just the process of
trapping myself in. How can I go on?
#Post#: 34869--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: June 5, 2018, 12:49 am
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Sounds like a bit of a pickle.... regarding your writing, are
you asking if what you write is ''true''? Write a sentence, any
will do, and contemplate if it is true. Don't be superficial, go
deep... very deep.
I listen to everyone I can as best I can, but I never, ever
believe a word they say. They don't know what they are talking
about, and in addition, words are terrible liars.
So, tell me, what are you lying about? Now, lying isn't
intrinsically bad, it's just what humans do. The first lie is
you tell yourself, and present yourself. as a person/human, and
that's light years from the true reality of who/what you are.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 34872--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: June 5, 2018, 9:39 am
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When I write, I usually try to be as honest to myself as I can,
in order to find out what's really going on inside me. It's not
like I make abstract statements which I try to prove or falsify
(like "the sky is blue"), but I try to explore the thoughts and
feelings which torment me. I try to track down my pains to the
ground. What I've found out so far is that all of my fears and
pains have to do with feeling unwanted, which seems to be sort
of the core of my identity: "I am the unwanted one". But still,
it seems like I'm not able to free myself of it.
So - what am I lying about? I don't know. How could I find out?
The point of my writing exactly is to try not to lie to myself
and look at what's going on inside me. What am I doing wrong?
#Post#: 34874--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: June 6, 2018, 1:24 am
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An identity such as this can go pretty deep. It's the identity
of ''I am unwanted''. While all identities are false/made up,
that doesn't mean that they are not without considerable power
and influence over one's life. Yes, they are lies because you
are not what you ''think'' you are... ever. I suggest you write
me at cambodianashram@gmail.com
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 34893--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: June 12, 2018, 11:12 am
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Hi Jed,
I guess your idea is to invite me to participate in the nav
series. to be honest, (at least for now) I don't want to do
that, instead I want to figure it out for myself, but if that's
okay for you i would write you here from time to time when I
feel I'm stuck like now. Or do you think there's not really a
chance for me to solve that huge "I am unwanted" thing on my
own?
Some 18 months ago, I started to write down everything that
torments me and since then I've filled almost 300 pages, but
recently i started to wonder if that really helps or if it just
makes me getting lost in the maze of my wicked thoughts and
feelings. And I wonder if I'm just doing it wrong. I mean,
people tell me that i make a different impression on them since
then, that i look healthier and appear more self-confident and
stuff, but how can I know that this really has to do with my
writing process? maybe i just believe that i am heading towards
the right direction and that i'm getting closer to some kind of
oneness and that hope or believe is what gives me the "improved"
charisma. and as i told you, there are still days of depression
and feeling lost and without orientation. i don't know if i'm
really proceeding or if i just tell that to myself, avoiding the
real fight. sometimes everything is just confusing and feels
wrong, in other moments everything seems clear to me. is that
normal? will it ever get easier?
#Post#: 34894--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: June 12, 2018, 9:34 pm
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I would suggest you ask yourself if you really want things to
change. It may sound a little strange to you, but I have heard,
literally, thousands of students who claim they want to change
and these two problems arise:
1.) They are getting something out of their present beingness
and are unconsciously reluctant to give that up.
2.) They don't have a systematic methodology which is important
in order to work around said reluctance.
Have you realized that nothing you have written is true? Go back
and start with your first writings... ask yourself, ''Is that
true?''. Contemplate, if it is really true? How do you know if
it's true or not? I am not referring to ''Truth'' but to what is
true. If it's from you memory, is your memory 100 percent
accurate? Question everything, absolutely everything.
Best wishes on your journey.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35129--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: July 20, 2018, 12:58 pm
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Hi Jed,
Remember that motorcycle accident in Warfare? How could you tell
the universe was indicating you to not ride motorcycles anymore?
is it a question of age, like any person older than 50 or 60 (I
don't know how old you are) shouldn't engage in motorcycling
anymore? Seems unlikely to me as the universe surely has no
problem with even older persons riding motorbikes. so how could
you tell it was a matter of age and not a call to buy you a new
and better bike, for instance? Or that the only purpose of this
incident was to explain the h/a state to Lisa and the readers of
your book?
#Post#: 35130--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: July 21, 2018, 3:38 am
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I don't know how to explain it other than more stories. This
world has sufficient stories. Who cares, really?
Inquire as to who wants to know. Go as deep as you can and then
go deeper.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 35339--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: August 9, 2018, 12:46 pm
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Does the universe have a will? I understand H/A mostly as
getting in alignment with the universe's will, but I doubt there
even is something as a "will" of the universe.
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