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#Post#: 33753--------------------------------------------------
universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: January 20, 2018, 11:08 am
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hi jed,
i can hardly believe i've stumbled upon you and this forum. even
though i got to see now and then how magical life is, this seems
just too fucking much of a grace to me. of course i wonder if
this is really you, but i can't help the impression it MUST be
you (as, reading the books, i wondered if your enlightenment is
real, but finally i couldn't resist to taking your writings
extremely seriously). so i'd like to use the opportunity to
express my gratitude for all the good work so far. you gave me
something like a first glimpse into what it could mean to be
alive - the remainder to be discovered by myself.
but still i'd be happy to get some advice now and then. right
now i feel like i'm entering the HA state, but what really
troubles me up to a minor depression is that i can't connect
with most of the other human beings anymore. there's just
nothing to say, bc the thing that mostly interests me is that
process of becoming HA and also some philosophical stuff, but
most people around me aren't interested in that. so here my
questions go:
- will i ever feel comfortable/free to express myself when being
with other people and if yes, how can i get there? at the moment
i scan everything i say or do for egoic, self-serving BS and
totally don't trust myself anymore bc i suspect and feel ego in
everything i or other people are doing/saying.
- is it likely i got kinda brainwashed by your books? sometimes
i suspect that, bc after reading them several times i recognize
myself in so much stuff you say about being HA and i know how
keen the ego is to identify with fancy HA stories. And i don't
think my social anxiety fits in that concept of HA very well, so
what's going on here? maybe it has to do with my imagination of
a HA being necessarily a lonesome cowboy in an underdeveloped
environment (might have something to do with the books ;) )...
but the difference between others and me in will and ability to
understand that HA kinda stuff seems so real!!
sorry for the many words and bigtime greetings from berlin to
wherever you are!! Love ya too.
#Post#: 33755--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: January 20, 2018, 6:41 pm
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Dear M:
Welcome to the forum... good questions. I quoted below and
responded.
- will i ever feel comfortable/free to express myself when being
with other people and if yes, how can i get there? at the moment
i scan everything i say or do for egoic, self-serving BS and
totally don't trust myself anymore bc i suspect and feel ego in
everything i or other people are doing/saying.
Your previous comfort was all illusory. Eventually you will get
that are no other people in this human dream. Communication with
others is also and illusion because who would communicate with
whom. You will just let go of you egoic need to be right and
communicate. Things will become very gentle and easy. Be
patient.
- is it likely i got kinda brainwashed by your books? sometimes
i suspect that, bc after reading them several times i recognize
myself in so much stuff you say about being HA and i know how
keen the ego is to identify with fancy HA stories. And i don't
think my social anxiety fits in that concept of HA very well, so
what's going on here? maybe it has to do with my imagination of
a HA being necessarily a lonesome cowboy in an underdeveloped
environment (might have something to do with the books ;) )...
but the difference between others and me in will and ability to
understand that HA kinda stuff seems so real!!
Let go of this emphasize on ''others''. The point of any book is
to sorta brainwash you into another experience. It's called
''entertainment'' and it's the only reason you are in the human
appearance. I strongly suggest you avoid ALL ''spiritual'' type
conversations with others. Let the pressure build in you and
prop you forward. Others dreams, ideals and learnings are none
of your business.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 34227--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: March 12, 2018, 10:59 pm
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Dear Jed. I got it. You are basically me :o sounds kinda stupid,
but funny anyways ;D ;D
Love ya,
Raphael
#Post#: 34228--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: March 13, 2018, 3:53 am
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Of coures I am you, who else would I be?
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 34235--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: March 14, 2018, 8:01 pm
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does h/a "automatically" lead to t/r at a certain point or time?
or is it possible to dream this human life dream lucidly over an
infinite amount of lives (and, of course, deaths) without ever
waking up from it into truth/no self? and if we awaken to truth,
will we never incarnate again?
#Post#: 34236--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: March 15, 2018, 4:31 am
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Nothing ''automatically'' leads to T/R, and anything might just
lead to T/R...it's been accurrately called a ''divine
accident''.
I think you are refereing to the reincarnation story, which is
only accurrate when you realize that it's not a ''person'' or
'personality" who reincarnates. It's the I am and in this
universe there is only one I am. Once your personality is dead,
or fully realized, there is nothing left of it to reincarnate.
The common new age reincarnation story is just ego/maya seeking
the comfort of continuity... but it's a very false continuity...
sheesh, if there is anything I would not want to continue it
would be a ''personality''.
Love ya, Jed.
P.S. now tell me what you really want....
#Post#: 34238--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: March 15, 2018, 7:14 am
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I rather tell you what I don't want: I don't want to realize
truth if that is the starting point to a process of slowly
fading out of life. i don't wanna awaken out of duality and thus
put less and less energy into my dream character until it fully
dissolves (like you describe your own process). i don't wanna
come to an end of the evolutionary process of change and
transformation. you write that h/a means to constantly wander
about and explore and play and thats exactly what I am eager to.
Maybe I'm just kinda like a child who refuses to go to sleep,
but anyways, I wonder if T/R is necessarily the ending point of
all evolution. Ah and foremost I don't wanna fall back in a less
conscious state than now and have to travel this
suffering/samsara road ever and ever again. I don't wanna be
Sisyphos.
Where am I mistaking?
#Post#: 34239--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: March 15, 2018, 9:10 pm
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Nothing wrong with just desiring H/A. I can attest to it being
quite rewarding and a great deal of fun also. So, if something
was in the way of you ''growing up'' what would it be?
Please be as specific as possible. Remember, this is only and
always about you.... not what someone else desires for you.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 34241--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: March 16, 2018, 5:18 am
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"not what someone else desires for you." I don't get that ??? ;D
hmm what would be in the way of me growing up...? I know that
finally the only threat to my growing up process is myself, or,
to be more specific, false pre-assumptions that keep me
enchained. The assumptions that led to this question have to do
with what you say in the interview in the bonus content of SIE.
There you talk about life being a process of orbiting and thus
slowly approaching the one source we all come from: "This
re-integration is the state to which everyone is in constant
motion". And the first step means to abandon the orbit and go
straightly back into the center of all. So I interpret this as
H/A orbiting around closely to the center and T/R just being
(in) the center. And if every travel ends right in the center,
mustn't that mean that T/R is inevitable, that H/A is just a
transit towards it and there is no way of just staying in the
state of H/A? And after being back to center/oneness, doesn't
that game start anew so you slowly move back from center and
travel all this samsara road of suffering until you get pulled
back to center again? Thats what I mean with Sisyphos.
And another pre-assumption that I have regarding this issue is
that that process takes places over many lives (although I know
that its not my dream character that reincarnates).
#Post#: 34383--------------------------------------------------
Re: universe, neurosis & me
DIR By: morrinow
Date: April 5, 2018, 3:27 pm
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Is it appropriate to describe the process towards enlightenment
as the atmanic consciousness and the brahmanic consciousness
becoming one?
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