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#Post#: 33359--------------------------------------------------
*shrugs*
DIR By: WhoKnows
Date: December 21, 2017, 6:20 am
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The universe really is a baby having fun. ( i dont remember how
you phrased it jed,thats if you are the actual jed mckenna). I
had been distracting myself by thinking i needed a teacher or
guide or someone/something to tell me whether im doing the right
thing, headed the right way. The universe answered me obviously
by ridiculing me. It wasnt until yesterday/today when I decided
to kill all the teachers (including you jed, not sorry) and stop
reading any more books that I somehow got to this forum.
Anywho, I'm guessing this is somewhere I can do SA in peace (
ive been writiing shiz down even before I read your books jed
but its so much easier to type it out ) with a little guidance
if needed.
My SA started with me writing about myself and the thoughts I
have through out the day. Usually any guilt or fear or
self-importance experience. Then I usually try and figure out
the root cause, usually a past experience. Now i'm starting to
question the validity of my conclusions. If thought is false,
how can i use the same thoughts to dissect what truth is? Is
there another method of knowing other than thought? A knowing
that only cimes about through a silencing of the internal
dialogue?
#Post#: 33360--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 21, 2017, 11:10 am
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Hi there:
Welcome to the forum. Glad you stop reading books because most
of them are full of silly new age nonsense... in my
not-very-humble opinion.
If you are going to do S/A and are serious about it, I suggest
you write it out by hand, in ink. Digital is just not as
effective.
As I read the balance of you post, I realized that you are not
doing S/A at all. Yes, there is another way of knowing but it is
beyond explanation. If you are serious about S/A, then write
something that is true... try it and let me now how it goes.
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 33365--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: WhoKnows
Date: December 21, 2017, 5:18 pm
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hmm ok, something true. I can say it is true that im typing this
right now. How do I know? Well, my hand is pressing certain
buttons on the keyboard and as a result there are characters
appearing on the screen. How do I know its my hand? I can see it
and im the one controlling it . How do i know im controlling it?
well... uh because it's through my own volition that i'm typing
this. whos volition now? mine? whos that?
And that brings me to the who am I question? My honest answer
atm is IDK. Am I my thoughts? opinions? experiences? memories?
If I remove all of that, nothing remains...
I dont want to give the obvious answer: "i" dont exist. While I
understand this intellectually, I havent felt this in my bones
and in each cell.
#Post#: 33368--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: WhoKnows
Date: December 21, 2017, 7:26 pm
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During my younger teenage years I started questioning everything
that was shoved down my throat. Then i got rid of them:
religion,politics, morality, love, social roles etc. I thought
I was done and I had removed all the baggage so i took a 2 year
"break". I didnt want to post anything about my background
because I pity myself for taking that break when i could've
achieved so much during that period. Anyway, I thought it may be
useful so whatever. Now that im looking deeper, I see a lot of
fear, guilt, regret, anger, jealousy, insecurity etc. I still
have demons to purge.
Why do I have these feelings? Is it the feelings or the
attachment to the idea that I shouldnt have these feelings?
While i'm practising to be aware whenever they come up, that
doesnt stop them from coming up later again. Is it because i
still believe in an "I" that experiences these feelings? Should
i keep on being mindful of these feelings and try to root them
down? hm
#Post#: 33376--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: WhoKnows
Date: December 22, 2017, 6:42 am
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who am i ? perhaps i should start with who i am not. am i
something physical? my body? but thats always changing. if i
have no legs or arms, i wont feel less me. 2million cells are
replaced every second so can i call something thats
non-permanent me? how about what i do? my various roles? nah, i
know theyre all scripted and theres an I that takes it too
seriously sometimes. how about my thoughts? Those as well are
always changing but i seem to react to these thoughts. "i'm
ugly" echoes in my head and i react with insecurity. so am i
just a product of my thoughts? what ae thoughts composed of?
experiences, which are all in the past. so essentially thoughts
are memories on replay so am i nothing more than memories? If i
get into a car accident, with my guts splattered and my head
damaged, and i lose all my memories, what happens to me? well,
idk, i dont have any memory of losing all my memories... but
what acc changes about me ?
when thoughts pop up ( where the hell do they come from) and im
aware of it, attaching no importance to it, who's aware of it?
Are there 2 I's? the observed and the observer? do I own my
thoughts? who owns now? i dont feel any substance in the
observer. Theres no-thing that makes up the observer? so am i
the observer. the observed, none or both? HUH
#Post#: 33378--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 22, 2017, 8:54 am
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Your going to have to realize that yourself(s).
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 33401--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: WhoKnows
Date: December 23, 2017, 7:28 am
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supposed truth : I am angry.
Once aware of this anger, it stops, fades away like the illusion
it is. The anger is just a programmed response; a pattern
repeated on. In "observer mode" the anger disappears. This goes
for all emotions and feelings. I'm not angry, i just... am. I
see why jed calls it no-self. Its just consciousness.
I've always wondered what bill hicks meant by "...we are all one
consciousness experiencing itself subjectively..." I stumbled
upon this other quote and got it instantly " I am the background
that sees in all of us". This consciousness, this " I am",
everyone is it but thoughts create a separation. But then how do
I know that this consciousness is the same as john's or jeds? I
just knew somehow. Words are a curse and a blessing so this is
my attempt at explaining it .
Nothing can be more nothing than nothing. There are 2 cups of
diff sizes with nothing inside. the larger cup isnt emptier than
the smaller one. theyre just both empty. the same emptiness. ok
so how about me and a table? are we separate? living and
non-living are just concepts and labels. "...all matter is
merely energy condensed to a slow vibration.." reduced to its
purest form everything is energy ( thoughts are apparently
energy too but I dont get how thats possible. will look into
that next) so the table and i are both energy. the table doesnt
think ( i think ) so its in constant no-self just like my
no-self and your no-self.
idk if my description is clear but it all made sense to me. I'm
also yet to grasp the observed\observer thing. Further.
#Post#: 33402--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 23, 2017, 8:41 am
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There are no cups.... hm....
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 33403--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: WhoKnows
Date: December 23, 2017, 11:36 pm
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the cups represent the physical body. Are you saying theres no
physical body?
Or theres no one that owns the body? hm
#Post#: 33404--------------------------------------------------
Re: *shrugs*
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 24, 2017, 1:27 am
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The only thing that tells you, or anyone, that there is a body
is a fiction... just a story based on memories, hearsay and
senses. All of those are of highly questionable authority. Yes,
from within the dream of humanness there does appear to be a
body, but that is only an appearance. From the perspective of
Truth, it is just an appearance and of no consequent at all.
I suggest you focus on what the appearance of the human arises
in, what is the context?
Love ya, Jed.
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