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#Post#: 3122--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Stephan Caspers
Date: October 21, 2014, 4:33 pm
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Who let the God out? ♫ Woof woof woof woof ♪
Am I stephan? Am I loving these parents? (no grudge or anything!
They simply happen to be near my living space :P) Well answer
the fücking question!? burn it! Further! Am i loving them? I
dont know. Who knows not? I? the pointer doesn’t know it
imagined its pointing? It imagines not being attached when it
really is the attachment itself? Come out and play! My guts can
swallow you up like spinach on a cold plate served with unions
and pepperoni cheese mmm…
Who deleted all these previous words? As if its wrong! Ha! Get
real you faker! I know damn well I am talking to nothing
imagined by no one. This is Stephan calling to truth. Even
though I am dreaming (living), I know. Just when I felt downer
than Robert Downey jr. Last 2 weeks, it's been more realer than
this pretending drama we all admire. By the name of God!
Reversed for Dog! I say good earthly night!
Further that crap!
Love you,
Stephan
PS. Once I took a shít I saw jezus in my crappile. Made a selfie
instantly, billions of people worshipped my poop. Good dreams… I
can clarify he DID came back to life Jed! Look for him in the
sewers. HALLELUJAH!
#Post#: 3138--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 22, 2014, 12:14 am
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Dear S:
Errr....thanks for the Jesus imagery, now I really know I don't
want to be saved.
Further,
Jed.
#Post#: 3214--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Stephan Caspers
Date: October 23, 2014, 3:02 pm
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Identity crisis!
I caught this thought telling me I got nothing to lose. Excuse
me, where is this 'I'? This may sound poetricly heroic(my god
that grammar!). How the hell can I lose nothing when I am
nothing itself?
Nothing to gain! Also a believe. Nothing is not an achievement
one can seek or lose. It's what is. Always will be.
Where will this I be? A floathing illusion spread around like an
Ebola virus passed on to generation after generation.
The very first word taught at school is the notorious "I am". In
that very same lesson they ask you to attach your name. I am
Stephan. YAY! Took my first drug! Whole family enlightened with
the news I can READ.
Further.
#Post#: 3232--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 24, 2014, 12:16 am
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Dear S:
Yes, the conspiracy goes back a long way, and has many parties.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 3319--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Stephan Caspers
Date: October 25, 2014, 4:32 pm
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Bloodthirst rant
WHY SO SERIOUS? Why take stuff so personal? My god, I am
dreaming! Dreaming I say! What am I burning to ask the universe?
Come on, no easy comfort. That stuff is dull. I want to dive in
burning hot lava rather than my own pee like everyone keeps
doing. Sure it’s hot, year by year as you get more knowledge the
smell of hot pee won’t even reach your senses. It might even
taste like French wine who knows?
Is the ego only fcking capable to TRY and make a worthwhile
sense of anything?
Stimulance A says: gosh I am bored… I did what Boss guy asked of
me, helped co-worker A and B, fed myself knowdledge good riddens
of that shít, blah blah, complain complain, bladiblah.
I see it clear. The ego needs a grib on any”thing”. It will
never get that which isn’t capturable. It imagines any
imaginable solution to gain an imaginary what?? Purpose? Reason?
Goal? Wanting? Thirst for blood?
Ego tells the mind: Not satisfied yet, let’s collect more
reasons. Reasons are the mind’s xmas tree decorations.
No need to get worked up on anything. Whether I finish whatever
priority. Feeling dissatisfied about results. You will forget it
anyways. Could be within 4 sec or a lifetime (whole family dies
of age 30 yrs from now on leaving you sad and lonely) The ego is
designed to move on regardless of the circumstances. It’s NEVER
satisfied. Much like shopaholic females.
Further.
249 ;)
#Post#: 3351--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Stephan Caspers
Date: October 26, 2014, 5:30 am
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Feed the machine *ERROR*
Human bodies recieve nothing but data to FILTER out and spread a
lie. Jed when you say focus on the YOU, I know what comes from
your mouth is filtered hence never to be taken serious. YOU are
me. You don't give any F's to any personalities (ego's), cause
you know there is no one to do the give and taking. Whereas your
words are of shít value to me.
It's difficult to put it in words forgive me... Easier viewed
without the need of words cause that's what is in me.
Took a shower this morning and I gotta say showers are places
where you can smoothly let your thoughts drain out. This human
body is all about filtering what's true. NOT to be seeking or
reinforcing a persona. During the shower contemplating there was
a switch where one intention was like as if I was talking to a
"secondary" someone or something. The ego is resisting what is.
Asking about "why this, what that blah blah"? Slows me down.
So here is the spread of the lie from my ego to drop filthy data
out on this forum. All I can say is: STOP looking for reasons
just to link it to a personality (your name). I am simply
talking to MYSELF all along! THAT is resistance. Boxing it up to
the size I can be satisfied with.
Further.
Love you.
Stephan
#Post#: 3460--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Stephan Caspers
Date: October 27, 2014, 4:11 pm
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Psycho killer PART 1
I plan my own funeral. Let my death be arranged. Make it happen,
i dont care when, just make it happen! I am certain it will
come. This life isnt worth it. For i might hurt the unaware. My
father, mother, brother, even my dog would be sad. How would
life be for them without a brother and son? I am an orphan. A
child raised by older children. What will I leave behind for
them? A thought. A memory. Life is a memory. Once all the pieces
of “my” existence gets erased nothing shall remain. All my life
experienced gets sucked into oblivion.
Why run away from it? Embrace my kryptonite! Hug it! A
brotherhood must be forged. I know quiet well this body with all
its memories (life energy) will grow old. Turned into dust.
Further.
#Post#: 3461--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Stephan Caspers
Date: October 27, 2014, 4:14 pm
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Psycho killer PART 2
There is no mother, no father. They lived with me, i grew up
with them. I got no answer yet from them: Am I? who the hell are
these people? Who is this brother? I got no use for him. I
imagine him beating up, i leave him bleeding out to death. No
response of helping the guy. Let him slowly bleed out. Let him
cry, let him breath his last few breaths away. Look at it. KICK
IT! kick it! kick it! kill him! Kill them all!
Further.
#Post#: 3462--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Stephan Caspers
Date: October 27, 2014, 4:15 pm
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Psycho killer PART 3
No mother no! Dont stop me from killing him! I kill you with my
hands. Ill beat u up so bad! With all my might i punch with no
second thought. With so much convincing I watch you become
blind. I watch that smile disappear. I see a difficulty in
breathing. Why is this father guy crying? He is the opposite of
me. Very emotional. He lost what he loved. He feels useless. I
have no need to kill him, his suffering says enough. The
detachment from my mother makes his pain a pleasurable torture
in my eyes. Let him suffer. How there he insult me with his
pity.
Further.
#Post#: 3463--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stephan
DIR By: Stephan Caspers
Date: October 27, 2014, 4:18 pm
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Psycho killer PART 4
Allow me to spread disaster. Greetings from mr.nice guy. Now
for my dog to which I can feel a very strong attachment. Those
cute eyes won’t help from your inevitable faith. I’ll end it
quick whilst you sleep. Let me hear your animal deathcry. Scream
like a baby.
Don’t know where these tears suddenly come from..
I got no use for you! Stop crying dog! Ill cut your throat
there, done! No mercy.
I AM LONELY! I am alone! The attachment bleed out. One more
thing to kill: This dream. I mourned long enough. It has been an
emotional rollercoaster of bittersweet pleasure. Now to let go,
burn the house and walk away. Burn those childhood memories.
Adios that which was once my home.
Further.
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