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#Post#: 31104--------------------------------------------------
Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 24, 2017, 11:34 am
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Dear Members and Lurkers:
What is guilt? A regret about something that happened in the
past, a wanting of something to have been different..it's easy
to make up your own definition and it is going to be appropriate
for you. Make up a thousand definitions and not one will change
what appeared to have happened in the past. Unless you have some
voodoo up your sleeve. In addition, the past you would like to
change is not as you remember it. You only have some vague
pictures and stories about it.
Stories of the past can be changed though and rationalizations
about the past are a favorite human pastime: he did, she did,
they did, he cause me to do this, she caused me to do this, that
organization caused me to do that, it was because of my parents
and how they raised me ... blah, blah, blah. The memory of the
past is just a story and piling on more stories is an energy
wasting mind game.
Take blame, guilt and regret and ask yourself what do they hinge
upon? What is the single and only component that is an absolute
must in order for those experiences to exist, or at least appear
to exist?
Without the sense of the personal, the ''I, me, my, mine'' up
and running, then who is ''there'' to experience the blame, to
feel regret and guilt? No one is home... but there's another
facet to loss of the sense of the personal. There is no other
person ''out there''. This is experienced as not seeing another
but only one's ''Self'' (capital ''S'') as everything that is
seen, heard, etc.
It's impossible for you to hurt anyone, as BK points out better
than I, because it's only their stories of ''shoulds, woulds,
can'ts, and musts'' that are being bruised. In reality they
(you) hurt themselves (you). These imperatives are always based
on the past because if they were based on the present one would
instantly see what's going on and there would be no ''shoulds,
woulds, can'ts, and musts'' because there is only what is and
it's all You anyways. If anyone is responsible for other's
stories, it's certainly not you. You don't make up their
stories, maybe your own, but certainly not theirs.
Have you ever been involved in a divorce or breakup. What really
happens? It's usually one of the biggest comedy routines in this
dream and it's repeated thousands of times every day. One party
(their stories) feels deceived or offended by another party and
thus the you-know-what hits the fan. Defenses (the fences) are
raises, stories are cemented in place and sometimes it takes
years for people to get over it. What on earth is going on?
Wife: Sorry baby, I don't love you any more.
Husband: Got it hon, I am having an affair anyways.
Wife: Wow, that sounds like fun.
Husband: Well, it is, at least temporarily as Jed has explained.
Wife: So, what will we do?
Husband: Well... I guess that breaking up is what comes next.
Wife: Sounds reasonable, let's list all those little details
that we need to take care of.
Husband: Let's make a plan.
It that a ridiculous scenario... absolutely not and was pretty
much what happened after my second marriage of 20 years
(actually not the affair part... it was only inserted to get
your attention). If you want drama and gnashing of teeth the go
for it... FULL ON... mind you, it can be pretty tiring and I
don't recommend it. Your will be putting unnecessary wear and
tear on the body which will just age the dream character.
And then there are the ''friends'' who are quick to say ''We
don't take sides'' and then promptly do so because their stories
of you two as a ''couple'' has just been shattered.
I don't write this to criticize those who have gone through such
travails... I seek to point out that the anxiety that arises is
an absolute and total waste of time. If your mate finds someone
who seems to make him or her happier then why on earth would you
not want them to pursue that. Don't you want someone you care
about to be happy? Are you petty, jealous, envious, insecure...
NO... you are just believing stories that are doomed to be blown
out of the water... someday. Knowing that there is no such thing
as another your experience the world is one. No one can hurt you
and you can't hurt anyone... only their stories hurt and those
stories are always stories of separation.
I understand that this rant sounds idealistic and quite
impossible to execute when view from within the human dream.
Realize your True Nature and it will effortlessly be your
experience. Go there... and find out for yourself. It's the only
way you will believe and experience it. Be careful about jumping
to conclusion when you haven't walked the walk of T/R. Stories
are not living, they are fictions. You can't ''deal'' with guilt
because it is just another story. When nothing is personal this
whole dream lightens up and is seen for what it is. You can make
up any story you feel like, but you will never believe it again.
With no belief attached there is no crash possible.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 31259--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: EternalDawning
Date: August 28, 2017, 6:33 am
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It's not unreasonable at all. When my husband and I divorced we
had a few days of the best most open conversations in 9 years.
It was time to move on. Love 'em and let 'em go.
It's reasonable when there's reasonability.
#Post#: 31495--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: Harrisonhappy
Date: September 7, 2017, 10:24 am
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Thanks Jed ! it's relieved to read the article. I just broke up
with my boyfriend,but I still miss him，wove the story
about Me&myself&I&Mine. :'(
#Post#: 31496--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 7, 2017, 12:36 pm
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Just be as aware as possible without judgments.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 31501--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: guest1413
Date: September 7, 2017, 3:08 pm
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After my perspective on this weird thing called life changed to
one. I was capable of forgiving myself and my ex wife (and
everybody else). Before that i was fighting every experience
that the situation brought to and through me. Nice article.
Resonates pretty damn well.
#Post#: 31504--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 7, 2017, 11:35 pm
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Thanks for sharing guys and gals.
Love ya, Jed. l
#Post#: 31552--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: Huzefa
Date: September 10, 2017, 7:43 pm
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The whole thing seems so sad :'( . But if you cannot have the
low of leaving people, you probably cannot be euphoric of being
with a person. I'm just guessing. My dream character has a
non-existent love life anyway. :P
Thanks,
Dobby.
#Post#: 31937--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: EternalDawning
Date: September 28, 2017, 9:45 am
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Guilt is a convoluted story for martyers and victims of
overgrown imaginations. It's a level of specialness and
individuality too great to fully claim. It is the pitchfork at
the gateless gate keeping heaven at bay.
#Post#: 31940--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 28, 2017, 10:56 pm
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Yup.....
#Post#: 32617--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
DIR By: no one
Date: November 3, 2017, 3:40 pm
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Hey Jed. I hope all is well with you. I feel some guilt when I
write because it's all give and all take: you give, I take...all
the time. :'( Apparently my selfish desire for T/R overrides
any concerns for you. My mind just said, "But he created this
forum, he's here for you." Perhaps I can donate some dinero to
your efforts in Cambodia??
I have really nice neighbors, so I will be happy for them if
they win. Now, there are some days, when I won't have that
feeling and thought, "Damn, I wish it was me that won!" And,
then I'll have those days when that feeling is not present.
Sometimes it seems like I'm quite grown up, and then in the
blink of an eye....I can act or feel like a 3 year old or an
adolescent. I'm not stable, Jed! I'm tryin' though.
So, when Grace has come upon me and the Heart opens wide, or
stories are just dropped or seen through, the relief, and the
compassion and love for self and 'other' is what I experience as
that peace that passeth all understanding. I AM grateful for
those 'openings,' without a doubt....here come the 'but.' But
then the heart closes again, and stories are believed, and out
the door goes the peace. Feeling' a wee bit sorry for me self
>:(
In the dream, is it just conditioning that keeps pulling 'me
back in?' Damn, no one is getting pulled back in. How to stop
identifying with this character with nothing else to identify
with? Attempt to drop the thinking mind and TRY to experience
what is right here, right now? I've read that no effort is
needed and also that effort is needed. It feels like it takes
someeffort to relax and just observe what's actually present. A
relaxed kind of effort, not that, do it if it kills me kind.
Thinking: do i have to identify with something? who or what
identifies with something? Thank you for taking the time to
read this, Jed.
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