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#Post#: 27997--------------------------------------------------
Death, agony and torture
DIR By: arminkandzic
Date: April 11, 2017, 2:28 am
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Hi,
Quick introduction: familiar with the trilogy and ToE;spended
quite some time searching for the "right tools" to get to the
answer of "who/what am/is I/me?" in the aisles of spirituality,
philosophy, religion and science.
Recently, I started with SA, and a theme started to occur in my
surroundings - death. Wife's cousin died from cancer, my cousin
died 2 weeks afterwards in a car accident and a good friend died
from a stroke a week later. I've contemplated each of their
deaths and how it related to me (in short, they left an
interesting void).
To get to the point, I've been practicing death awareness:
putting on screensavers that reminded me of death, visited a
graveyard, twisting my mind about nonexistence, hollow core and
so on.
But, I never feared death itself (or could this be a layer that
doesn't let me pass through, saying "Oh, you're not afraid of
death. Continue. Leave that for those who are afraid of it.")?
In fact, I was ALWAYS afraid of that what could come before
death - agony. Pain. Specifically, torture and not being ABLE to
die. When you wish for death to come, but it doesn't. It is
hypothetical, but still, it is a layer to be peeled off. So,
I've came to the conclusion that I'm afraid of pain and agony,
but could it be that I'm deluding myself that I'm not afraid of
death?
Or could I be NOT afraid of death because I accepted it as
inevitable?
How does it look from your point of view, Jed? Hopefully, I made
it clear enough.
Thanks
#Post#: 27998--------------------------------------------------
Re: Death, agony and torture
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: April 11, 2017, 3:50 am
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Thanks for your post and welcome to the forum.
What is clear to me, glaringly clear, is the use of I and my, a
dozen or so times. That is what you might want to put out of
it's misery. It is pretending to be you and has nothing to do
with you.
Death with an I in your beliefs is difficult, without an I,
there is no death as you might think it to be.
Look and see.
#Post#: 27999--------------------------------------------------
Re: Death, agony and torture
DIR By: arminkandzic
Date: April 11, 2017, 4:10 am
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Yep, there is still that "I" that keeps lingering there. But "I"
has nothing else to refer itself to when introduction is in
play. By "I" I mean simple this form that experiences itself.
So are you saying that "I" is in the way of "I" dying
(metaphorically)?
But what about physical pain? Torture, pain, agony (literally)?
What about the fear of not being ABLE to die? Wishing for death
to come. How to process that?
Thanks
#Post#: 28000--------------------------------------------------
Re: Death, agony and torture
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: April 11, 2017, 4:35 am
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How many times have you experienced torture, pain and/or agony
(literally)? I want to know exactly, and I am not joking. Also,
how many times have you not been able to die? Incidences with
brief descriptions is acceptable.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 28004--------------------------------------------------
Re: Death, agony and torture
DIR By: arminkandzic
Date: April 11, 2017, 2:19 pm
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Well, that's the point. I haven't been there. In neither case.
It was experienced only vicariously through TV, videos, pictures
and stories.
A yet still, it's there.
Is pain only a mask on the face of Death?
What strategy to use? Taking off the mask or striking through
it?
BR
Sent from my SM-J510FN using Tapatalk
#Post#: 28007--------------------------------------------------
Re: Death, agony and torture
DIR By: arminkandzic
Date: April 11, 2017, 11:08 pm
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The more contemplating I do, the clearer it gets. It's realized.
Pain is what is in the way, so pain shall be burned down.
Death gives meaning to life. Death makes life pointless. It's
the same. Is that true?
Thanks, Jed
P. S. Further
Sent from my SM-J510FN using Tapatalk
#Post#: 28008--------------------------------------------------
Re: Death, agony and torture
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: April 12, 2017, 1:12 am
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No guidance required. You are doing just fine. Now... further.
Love ya, Jed
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