DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
INVISIBLE GURU FORUM
HTML https://jedmckenna.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Member Posts
*****************************************************
#Post#: 205--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Smith
Date: August 31, 2014, 2:26 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Even though it’s a cliché, my question is ‘What am I?’. ‘What’s
the truth of reality?’ feels truer, I use that as well. ‘What am
I?’ sort of subtly imply a not-I. What’s the point of ‘I’ if
there’s no one else? But I still use it, but ‘me’ or ‘I’ is not
really a part of the question. (I didn’t really notice it
before, but having a specific question is very focusing.)
Perhaps you meant a question that is more ‘step like’? I don’t
have one right now.
#Post#: 224--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Smith
Date: August 31, 2014, 10:52 am
---------------------------------------------------------
‘Wants’ come up. It is irrelevant. That’s one side of the coin.
Just ignore the bs and head for truth. On the other, it holds be
back. Thoughts still go there. Energy still goes left and right.
How do I let go? That’s a good question. You asked me for a
question. How do I let go? I never quite figured it out. My
answer would be, I can’t let go, there is no one to do it. But
still, some action (even though it’s not action) seems to help.
So what? One way to let go of something is to see that it’s not
something you actually want. And to really see that the ‘want’
itself is not very fun to have. When you don’t want it, you let
it go. It’s like having a crazy girlfriend that’s no good for
you, but you still stay with her. Once you get to the point of
clear seeing, that it’s doing you more harm than good, then
letting go happens. It’s fully automatic the letting go itself.
But apparently there are things you can do to get to that point.
Asking: What do I really get from it getting this? Seeing fully
what life is at that point, but also after that point.
There are wants though, that feels sort of true. That I truly
believe life would be much more fun if I did those things. These
are not wants in the sense that I want ‘something’, I would like
to do something that I know would help me grow. But I’m so
scared of doing it. And at the same time, I feel I would lose
energy for doing this. But at the same time, it feels like this
process is dependent upon me doing this. I’m not sure that’s
true. Maybe it feels true now. So how do I get over this shit.
Some roads you can think through, others you must actually go.
This seems like a ‘detour’ that’s necessary. I’m not sure if
it’s necessary for TR, but it’s necessary for HA. Although I
hate spreading energy, I have to admit this would be well spent.
When there’s a thing you really feel like doing, and you don’t,
you feel like an unnatural creature. Deformed. Out of alignment.
I’ve tried to do this before though. Several times… I’ve never
made it through to the other side. On one hand it feels like ego
bullshit, on the other – why am I so scared of this? It’s not
that I want something, or to be someone (perhaps a little). It’s
mostly about wanting to conquer fear. I know it’s not dangerous.
I am pretty sure there would be very little bad consequences. I
know I would feel amazing afterwards, no matter how it goes. I
can baby step it a little. But then there’s a big jump. I will
pray for the courage to do it. I will write about all the good
things that will come of it, and really look at the bad things
and see if they’re really that bad.
In many ways I’m a good guy. I have a great girlfriend, I’m
intelligent, I’m usually nice to people, I’m honest. I want the
best for people. Then, other times I feel weird, shameful, but
mostly afraid. Isolated. Somehow I hope TR would solve all that
shit. Or at least I could be done with that, and then focus on
growing up. You talk about how HA is usually a prerequisite to
TR. Is that really true? If you feel like you’re making headway
in the TR department, but there’s this feeling that you are
still not an adult. What is your advice? What is the most
efficient path here? Now, that’s my question to you.
#Post#: 228--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 31, 2014, 11:22 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hi Smith:
You have quite a few free running programs in place, mostly
transparent to you and somewhat visible to others, but there is
a keystone. One thing that if removed will let them tumble down
of their own accord. It's your resistance. Sometimes it
manifests in your mind as having to figure things out. That's
just a clever variation on the song of resistance.
I suggest taking some quiet time and just watch your mind and
all that comes up, emotions as well. Then you move along after
it quiets a little and start inviting stuff. Little things at
first. Find some childhood slight and invite it up. Really
experience it, welcome it, just as it is NO ANALYSIS OR CHANGING
IT, AS IT IS. Start small. If you're that smart a guy, and I
think you are, you will notice a quietening down of emotions and
noise. Whoa, is this not what you want? What if you did it,
say... 48 hours a day? Just welcomed what is. What could this
lead to?
But, there is a little problem. You have a pretty big ego/mind
and it just may reject such a simplistic solution. So be it. It
always up to you, or is it?
This has nothing to with whatever incident it was, it's all
about being the universe, which is, if nothing else infinite
welcoming of what is. How could it be any other way (his mind
said). It's not the answer, but it will bring you light years
closer and may just crack your head open. I don't want to hear
back from you until you have given this a genuine shot. Love ya,
Jed. P.S. It just may be the answer....
#Post#: 506--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Smith
Date: September 4, 2014, 4:49 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hi Jed. You seem to have hit the nail on the head. When I
explore my childhood memories, there are so many incidents with
emotional attachments. Some connected to feelings of injustice,
many to shame and embarrassment. The more I look, the more
incidents I remember. Emotional energy manifests mostly in the
stomach for me. Nice to see when it disappears. Actually pretty
exciting to go through this stuff. Feels necessary.
I have a question though. I remember you said something on the
old forum about dis-creating the event in stead of working
through it. I think it was on the timebreaking thread (I never
tried that btw). Could working through events be a first step,
and then perhaps dis-creating them later?
#Post#: 516--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 4, 2014, 8:55 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hey there, don't get caught up in mind again. Looking for a
better route out? STOP. I have said thousands of things that
were contradictory and confusing, if they weren't I would be
Depak and on Oprah right now.
Just do what I said, no questions, no doubt, I am your teacher
for the moment. You can tell me to screw off any time but I
suggest you follow through this one time. Clarification of
directions is fine, but please don't second guess what's going
on. It will only lead to mental chaos. Not our goal. Got it
Grasshopper?
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 521--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Smith
Date: September 4, 2014, 9:20 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Yep, no looking ahead, no need to understand
#Post#: 757--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Smith
Date: September 7, 2014, 12:39 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I’ve been doing what you suggested. Or at least what I think you
suggested. Looking for "bad emotions" in the body. Going over
childhood memories to trigger them. Feeling the core of the
energy. The eye of the storm, as Tom Stone calls it.
It’s not as easy as it seems. Sometimes it works wonderfully,
sometimes I don’t find much, other times I struggle to
‘complete’ the energy. When I’m tired it’s often like that.
Harder to fully accept the energy. Then there are times when I’m
fully rested and find some knot like sensations in the stomach.
I fully feel into them, and they perhaps transition to something
else or move somewhere and eventually die down. However, very
often they pop right back up. So I embrace them as well, but it
continues to happen after that as well. So I’m sort of wondering
why they keep coming back like that. Perhaps I just have that
much work to do with those anxiety knots. If that’s the case,
then great! Keep ‘em coming until there are no more.
I guess I sort of have this image that a session should come to
a full completion as opposed to this ‘sort of’ completion with
another (or the same?) energy ball lingering in the shadows. But
overall optimistic.
#Post#: 758--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Smith
Date: September 7, 2014, 12:48 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
It probably all comes down to resistance though. Just be as
inviting, as forgiving and as patient as I can be.
#Post#: 977--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Smith
Date: September 10, 2014, 3:05 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
After doing this emotion exploration for a couple of days, I
have come to the following conclusions:
- 'Feeling things fully' becomes easier with practice, but it
can be very difficult as well. Becoming a 'black belt' at this
is one of the best things you can do for your life (Tom Stone).
- It can be difficult finding something really emotional. Small
charges are easier to find.
- This can be applied not only to memories, but anything with an
emotional attachment. Everything about myself that I don't like,
bring it up. 'I am disappointed that I never did (...)', 'I am
so bad at (...)'. These beliefs have significant emotional
attachments, that's what's keeping them in place.
- This can also be applied to fears. I imagine my fears
happening and deal with the emotions that come up. For instance,
I imagined my girlfriend and me in a natural disaster and me
having to let go of her hand. Just anything where there is
emotion is up for grabs, not always fun.
#Post#: 980--------------------------------------------------
Re: Smith
DIR By: Smith
Date: September 10, 2014, 3:50 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I read a post from you that struck a nerve with me. About how
women are usually the ones initiating a break up.
My girlfriend is much more of a 'success', then I am. That
doesn't really bother me. A lot of that comes from me following
this stupid path I guess. I small part of me worries that she
one day 'has had enough' of my direction in life. I've never had
a really long relationship before, seems so crazy to separate
from the person you've loved for years. Rationally, I know I
would be fine, but emotionally, it brings tears to my eyes. It's
basically the one secure, stable thing in my life. If our
relationship ended, my life and universe would change. Something
lonelier. At least at first. This is just ranting btw. I fear it
mostly in an 'imagine if' scenario. But everything stable can't
be that stable. It's an illusion. I guess I'm trying to
challenge it a bit. I do have an intense love for this woman. I
doesn't always show it, but to me she's the greatest thing in
the world. My heart lies between her and the yearning for truth.
I love her, love her, love her, but the more I find myself, the
less needy the love is. I'm grateful and open to whatever life
brings me. In the non neediness and the openness lies total
control.
*****************************************************
Page 2 of 6
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page