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#Post#: 25390--------------------------------------------------
backsliding?
DIR By: mllem
Date: November 14, 2016, 10:19 pm
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my world fell apart this autumn and became reduced to near nil.
during this time i was reading jed and it coincided with my
state/experience; i stopped at some portal; i 'let go' of all i
could, but there were two significant relationships i couldn't
let go of, even at a personal cost to myself, so i didn't, and
accepted i was not through the portal; since then, i have worked
with a guide at lu (is that self-explanatory here?) and have
seen me wish to expand my circle of interaction, so to speak. is
that backsliding? is that cult-talk? :) adios amigos.
#Post#: 25392--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 14, 2016, 11:26 pm
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Hi there:
Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post.
Look inside. You know the answer to those questions. If you
don't think you know then pretend you know... that's all you
ever do anyways.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 25394--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: mllem
Date: November 15, 2016, 12:07 am
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Thank you, Jed. I'm sure you are right :) A pleasure to directly
connect with you, I have found your writing concisely
instructive! Blessings, Marlowe
#Post#: 25396--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 15, 2016, 2:00 am
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Drop back any time.
Cheers.
#Post#: 25553--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: mllem
Date: November 22, 2016, 11:20 pm
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Hi Jed,
Thank you for your invite to drop back. This is, for some
reason, really a challenge for me to write. I have the 400 and +
word version, but it is difficult to scale back. I will try to
go for essence. The essence is that I recently (from mid-July,
and ongoing) have gone through a hurry-up of life changes,
concomitant with reading Trilogy and Theory of Everything; a lot
has fallen away from me; where I get stuck is in love and loss.
When I came to the end of these books, and came home from
traveling, I felt like I could not race to the finish line; I
even accepted this, that there were some relationships in my
life that I could not imagine relinquishing, but I also found I
could not release what was calling me; I am in pain; tonight I
am alone; it is difficult for me to have this experience; I am
not sure what life holds for me in this arena; I don’t think I’m
special; I think many people are where I am right now.
The long version of my backsliding question
Marlowe
#Post#: 25561--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: mllem
Date: November 23, 2016, 9:03 pm
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accepting being alone is the hardest thing i have never done.
the pain of being alone. tonight it is less than last night.
#Post#: 25565--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: mllem
Date: November 23, 2016, 10:37 pm
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reading marcel in marcusfable (is it okay to cross-reference in
this manner?) brings me up against my deepest fears... alone at
the edge of the universe....
#Post#: 25567--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 23, 2016, 11:41 pm
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Dear M:
There are two levels/perspective here (or perhaps a thousand).
One is the human perspective where humans want acceptance and
love, mostly from some other human.
Once you go up from that and realize there is only ''One'' then
you will see the fallacy, there is no one who could possibly
give you what you already are. The challenge is not that one is
better than the other because those judgments don't apply, it's
what going from human to One is a big change. Change isn't
always accepted or seen as desirable... until you get used to
it.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 25569--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: mllem
Date: November 23, 2016, 11:49 pm
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it's feeling scary and impossible right now.
#Post#: 25570--------------------------------------------------
Re: backsliding?
DIR By: mllem
Date: November 23, 2016, 11:50 pm
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...and i know it's not possible that that's true (what i just
wrote).
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