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#Post#: 25071--------------------------------------------------
advice
DIR By: whoa
Date: November 4, 2016, 3:20 pm
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Hi I'm new here. I have a few questions.
Long story short, I got into self development and improving my
social skills. I changed so much so fast that I just had the
epiphany that I had no idea who I was and my mind split. I
didn't even know what enlightenment was until I started
googling. This process is happening to me where I am killing
myself mentally. Like in the Jed McKenna books. I've read the
first two. Anyway, I have a wife that I provide for and two
very young kids. I've already had to kill my attachment to my
kids in my mind because it isn't real. It's very painful. Now
I'm killing my favorite memories. Has anyone made it through
this process with their relationships intact? I'm amazed it
hasn't ended already. My kids need me in their lives. Am I on
the path to human adulthood or enlightenment? Is there a way I
can make sure I end up with human adulthood?
#Post#: 25079--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 5, 2016, 1:26 am
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Dear Whoa:
Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post.
First off, rest assured that none of your experiences are
particularly unique. All serious students go through this.
Regarding keeping your relationships intact. That's a bit of a
challenge because there are no such things in Truth. In Truth
there is only One, and in order to have a particular human
experiences we pretend their are two, or billions. Then we
pretend to have a relationship with a none-existent ''other'',
with all it's ups and downs, good and bad, blah, blah. But
that's just for entertainment purposes with a bit of survival of
the species thrown in. Reality is you have responsibilities and
you (in my hallucination) would be wise to take care of them
first. You will probably have time after for deeper searching.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 25094--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: whoa
Date: November 5, 2016, 7:01 am
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Thx for the reply. I don't really feel like I'm in control of
this process. I wouldn't choose to do this. I'm not sure I'll
ever be able to selectively delude myself but I do want to be a
Dad, and if you think I can put it off then I suppose there will
be a choice at some point.
#Post#: 25095--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: whoa
Date: November 5, 2016, 7:36 am
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For example just now realizing that part of my desire to be a
Dad is guilt. Which isn't real, so now I have to kill that
somehow. Why would anyone seek this?
#Post#: 25096--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 5, 2016, 7:48 am
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You don't really have to kill anything. Profound understanding
and seeing through something handle pretty much any b.s., like
guilt, that might arise. Forgive yourself and get on with life.
Guilt is one of the stupidest things one can experience....
sheesh, regretting a non-existent past.. what a joke.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 25098--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: whoa
Date: November 5, 2016, 8:12 am
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Okay. I guess My ego is just being a little bitch. Onward.
Thx.
#Post#: 25126--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 6, 2016, 1:19 am
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Yup... a little full of yourself.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 25166--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: whoa
Date: November 7, 2016, 11:12 am
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Quick update. I'm feeling much better. I'm not "enlightened,"
but also not who I was before either. Like I said I took the
first step unknowingly, but your second book really kicked my
ass. I probably would have gotten here on my own, but your
books were a huge help (and entertaining). I have a feeling I
probably will be enlightened some day but in the mean time I'm
just going to enjoy the dream while I can and see if I can try
and enjoy some positive emotions for a while. Or maybe I should
say try not to not enjoy the positive emotions. haha.
Thanks. :-*
#Post#: 25184--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: November 8, 2016, 12:26 am
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Do what you will... just remember, it's all entertainment in the
dream.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 25261--------------------------------------------------
Re: advice
DIR By: whoa
Date: November 10, 2016, 10:06 am
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A couple more questions.
I have had this experience where for a few days at a time I get
in this state where I'm completely outcome independent, going
with the flow, not self conscious at all, happy... I'm guessing
this is the "integrated state". The first time it happened I
thought it might be "unity consciousness" but I'm starting to
wonder if that normally doesn't last so long. Opinion?
While I'm not in this state frequently I get this sad feeling in
my body, but no associated sad thoughts. Normally when it was a
thought I could drill down and falsify it, but when it's just a
feeling I'm not sure what to do. Thoughts?
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