DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
INVISIBLE GURU FORUM
HTML https://jedmckenna.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Member Posts
*****************************************************
#Post#: 3297--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Fear
Date: October 25, 2014, 6:38 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Im stuck on wanting my parents approval for my wishes , wants,
for my being, for my place and doing in life, whatever comes up
that i have a strong inclination to do, I see as not valid
unless the parents give me a green light. If they object to
anything, I do not go through despite the objection, I only do
the stuff they are ok with, which is a seriously f-ed up
mechanism and a way of thinking of acting of behaving, OF being
that I support and subscribe to.
I would want to do what there is a want to do without fighting
or strong opposition or just basic negligence, and im really
really stuck on that. I cant respect their dislike and my likes
at the same time, I just keep bashing my head internally,
instead of going though and facing the resulting situation. Im
afraid of seeing just what kind of idiots my parents are, and I
just keep behaving like a good little dead and invisible boy.
#Post#: 3300--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 25, 2014, 7:40 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Who did you say is the idiot? I must have missed it.
Love ya, Jed.
P.S. How old are you?
#Post#: 3304--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Fear
Date: October 25, 2014, 9:53 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Im 25. This body and programming have a strong inclination to
just forget stuff and stew on the inside and Im the idiot of
course, but I dont want to be bothered by being an idiot and I
dont know how to fix the situation because this isnt a hollywood
movie and they dont really respond well to any alterations or
betterment, theyre quite happy in their fog. And i pretend I am
too, and I am a lot of times, which also bothers me, but other
times I am violently not. I hate the duality and the split.
I feel like a total idiot and I dont know how to just cut
through the situation, because, I am living in "their" house.
Blah blah blah over concrete action, as always. Blah.
I dont know how to be honest with people because it kills them,
the conversation doesnt survive it. And if im not honest well,
what the hell is that then? ALso, I have this weird feeling like
any new step i make is totally in the dark and a total chance,
nothing feels familiar any more.
Thanks.
#Post#: 3315--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Fear
Date: October 25, 2014, 2:28 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Problem with my parents got fixed, I didnt have any.
Thanks,
the makyo guy ( aka Fear). I think.
#Post#: 3335--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 26, 2014, 12:21 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I missed your question.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 3344--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Fear
Date: October 26, 2014, 2:45 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I think Im gonna drop SA, I have been doing it for 2 years with
breaks and one year intensively. Now it just soothes me when Im
agitated and Im guessing we dont want that (do we?) . Im working
on your , well, my , new stuff.
#Post#: 3349--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Fear
Date: October 26, 2014, 3:54 am
---------------------------------------------------------
At the part when Im supposed to drop the "I" experienceing I
feel real agitation, unease and fear, even tho there is not much
real change as I see it. Even a lot more clearly I experience a
sense of relief when I get back to the idea of I experiencing
all this.
WIthout the pacifier of SA, that is my writing, I feel really
nervous and its getting worse and worse , like Im about to punch
someone in the face at the slightest provocation. And yet even
when I do the "pacify" it does not last long and it makes little
sense any longer not to go through it all. Should I drop the
"soothers"?
#Post#: 3355--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 26, 2014, 6:22 am
---------------------------------------------------------
SA sounds like a crutch for you. I suggest dropping it. Just do
the exercise.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 3357--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Fear
Date: October 26, 2014, 6:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I also feel like I should get a dog, I mean I strongly want this
dog that I found on the local ad site. Is it okay to get it
while one is cocooned like this, I wouldnt want to damage his
life by my rash decision, I dont have a job or a secure home ,
it feels dumb, but the want is really strong.
I see that as my key issues, I feel as my wants are as strong as
the fears. Like I want something bad and then I start fearing it
that badly, but the want does not go away, or fear.
#Post#: 3360--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fear
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: October 26, 2014, 6:50 am
---------------------------------------------------------
The dog thing is up to you, I am here to assist in realization
issues. Get it or don't get it, or just stew forever about it.
Whatever makes sense to you.
Love ya, Jed.
*****************************************************
Page 7 of 53
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page