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       #Post#: 5414--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Jed McKenna Date: November 28, 2014, 2:25 pm
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       Dear c-ball:
       Whenever you look outside at others, especially with frustration
       or anger, it's you ego play a little b.s. game with you. Just
       watch. It is trying to take you off point. Get close to it and
       shake it up a little and it immediately judges others and points
       fingers.
       It will make it oh so real and important.
       I suggest you just say thanks to it and move on.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 5512--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Cannonball Date: November 30, 2014, 10:33 am
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       Thanks.
       It sounds so simple but I still deal with that daily with
       parents/friends/coworkers. (or boss so identified in his role
       and my ego saying he is really still a child and aint got
       nothing on me lol) It gets easier though. Slowly.
       I have found that consuming a lot of alcohol actually takes out
       garbage aswell. I really have a love/hate relationship with it.
       I get why some call it the Devil's drink and I also get why
       Plato said alcoholic parties should be the basis of any
       educational system.
       Obviously the effects of alcohol are pretty well known, but I'm
       talking about the day-after. Aside from feeling dehydrated/maybe
       a headache my perceptions are crystal clear. I started noticing
       this over the last couple of weeks and it kinda amazed me. I do
       feel it takes a heavy toll from my body so I'll probably slow it
       down a little. Find other ways to do this garbage cleaning.
       But damn. Drugs are not what they seem at all. Including
       alcohol.
       #Post#: 5515--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Jed McKenna Date: November 30, 2014, 11:11 am
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       Booze suppresses your feelings and can mimic T/R in a minor way,
       but next day they all come back in spades. If you want to get
       high watch Oprah for 24 hours straight. Follow it with an enema
       and a green smoothie full of raw garlic, then swath yourself in
       toilet paper and run through the woods naked. Always works for
       me  ;D
       If they put you in the can you can meditate without the usual
       disturbances, except for Big Bo down the way.  :P Every can has
       one.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 5517--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Cannonball Date: November 30, 2014, 11:21 am
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       Haha so fucking random. Will give it a try.
       I had to look up what enema meant. I'm not a big fan of needles.
       When I was in the hospital during my psychosis they put a needle
       in my arm to test blood and left it for a couple of minutes and
       then left me alone. In my state of 'expanded awareness' I just
       pulled it out cause I was like wtf are they doing. My arm
       bleeding and nurses coming to me wondering why the hell I took
       it out. So funny when I think back to it.  ;D
       #Post#: 5518--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Jed McKenna Date: November 30, 2014, 11:44 am
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       :o
       #Post#: 5520--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Cannonball Date: November 30, 2014, 12:52 pm
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       I was also thinking about what you said regarding thanking the
       ego. Made no sense to me.
       Is that the trick? Appreciating it and realizing it's not really
       a dysfunction? When you see it for what it is the ego is
       actually a fascinating mechanism. And it's our own creation!  :o
       The parts in your books where you praised maya and stuff pissed
       me off the most. I understood it on a logical level but when
       you're inside a jail you can't appreciate the beauty of the
       construction of the building the way you can from outside at a
       distance. Or even better as an architect.
       Only perfect intelligence could create the perfect paradox; self
       and no-self.
       #Post#: 5526--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Jed McKenna Date: November 30, 2014, 2:35 pm
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       Sounds about right.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 5916--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Cannonball Date: December 7, 2014, 2:10 pm
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       Ok I finally have a real question. This shit has been building
       up for the last couple of weeks. It's one of the few things I
       just can't seem to fking grasp.
       What exactly is meant by awareness still being there after you
       die? And how can you possibly know if you haven't experienced
       death?
       Questions like "were you ever born?" are then sometimes asked
       but they give me no relief. It's also sometimes compared to deep
       sleep which makes sense because you have no experience of it but
       the thing is you always wake up the next day so who cares. I
       guess what I really fear is complete non-existence..
       Fk I really don't like posting this. It shows there's still a
       scared little boy in here. But fk that it's one of those things
       where I don't feel like doing anything at all untill I have the
       answer so it shall be done.
       #Post#: 6061--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Jed McKenna Date: December 10, 2014, 10:02 am
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       The most difficult thing to share is exactly what you should
       disclose.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 6148--------------------------------------------------
       Re: My Spiritual BS
       By: Cannonball Date: December 11, 2014, 4:51 am
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       I guess so. Whatever I was feeling is pretty much gone for now
       but at the time it was pretty intense. I felt like fighting,
       like picking up a sword, but without a real enemy. On one hand
       you already know it's completely pointless but yet there is this
       huge emotional buildup of energy that has to be released. Just
       pure conflict.
       And I see how it's more about the question then the answer.
       Answers reveal themselves in due time. Questions point to
       current obstacles. Right now it seems to me it's just fear
       itself without any content. I mean death? When I look at it now
       it's pretty clear and I don't feel anything.
       So it's just fear. Plain raw fear.
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