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#Post#: 23259--------------------------------------------------
First step Last step
DIR By: adinfinitum
Date: August 8, 2016, 2:39 pm
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Hello,
I wondered about posting and what I think I'll find here, what
this is about.
I saw that to post here I created one more belief : that you and
the author of the books are the same person.
The first time I skipped over the question but now I can't. Too
much. I felt ashamed, like caught with my hand in the cookie jar
x1000.
If I cant know for sure the very first thing at the beginning...
how do I know something ?
I did come here to ask a stupid question about a practice but
now... all I can see is FICTION.
Search, search for something, when that something is nothing!
I'm so blind... and gulible... and ghostly...
Every thought fade so quickly.
Thank you!
#Post#: 23261--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 8, 2016, 11:27 pm
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Hi Ad:
Welcome to the forum. Regarding your post, you are quite right
in my experience. You can't know the first ''thing'' and so it
follows, you can know nothing, ever.
You might as well relax and just accept that. It's only you mind
that resists it.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 23337--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: adinfinitum
Date: August 13, 2016, 4:59 am
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Let's ask that silly question about practice now that the dust
settled a bit...
I feel stuck by my lack of attention/mindlessness. I've very
little interest outside of awakening so there is focus in some
way but not through the day, moment-to-moment. The mind wander
around self-referential noise etc, get stuck believing for a
while. I notice it once in a while, return to zero but not very
often. There an practice to speed things up ? All I know is
meditation but I read you say that they are more efficient ways
than meditation. I understand that you won't disclose the nav
series content here but if there is anything non-secret that you
are willing to share I'm listening!
Thanks
#Post#: 23339--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 13, 2016, 5:21 am
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Dear Ad:
Nothing is secret. There is only One and something that might
appear as a secret is only an element/part of the dream. It's
all available to you, and I am dead serious, ALL available to
you when you want it badly enough.
Your mind will settle down on it's own good time. Be patient,
and then be more patient.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 23534--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: adinfinitum
Date: August 22, 2016, 4:12 am
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I get that recurrent dream every now and then. It always seems
to close a cycle. I dream about failing college exam. Sometimes
I miss to much lectures and worry about not knowing enough. This
time I just failed. I was asking the teachers if they could give
it to me now. It's been a while since I try to pass it, they
could just give it to me. Then I taunted them a bit, accused
them of not passing me just to get more money. I said: couldn't
you just ask me the money then ? I was a bit sly and not really
worried.
These dreams used to generate much anxiety upon waking, now I'm
more relaxed. But this recurrent dream still seems to be
important.
This kind of dream is a classic. College degree is often the
gate through adulthood. I have passed the actual one for years
now, it seems to be a deeper symbol.
I think my glib attitude in the dream is close to my current
attitude. I suspect what comes after, so I delay the real jump,
no longer afraid of failing but maybe about what's ahead.
I remember an episode of that dream where I was in a maze. I
cracked it seeing that you could short-circuit it any time. I
thought it was cheating but I was praised for finding the
solution/non-solution. Most of people were still inside
following directions to no avail. At that moment someone came
and asked me if I really wanted to go for the next step because
it wasn't an easy one.
I feel that deep down I know what to do, but I hide it from
myself. I'll see how that goes.
#Post#: 23536--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: August 22, 2016, 4:59 am
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Yes, you will eventually.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 23752--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: adinfinitum
Date: September 6, 2016, 6:21 am
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I've been practicing self-inquiry a lot using questions such as
"who am i?" or "whence am i?". I felt that I was not doing it
right because i wasn't finding anything and it was laborious.
But then i had these moments where 'i' disappeared in the
process. This is very brief. Each time this happen, there is
also panic. It's hard to go back and exhausting.
I think that i should continue but i'm not sure. Does this sound
like the right track ?
#Post#: 23755--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 6, 2016, 10:37 am
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How could you possibly be on the ''wrong'' track?
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 23758--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: adinfinitum
Date: September 6, 2016, 11:21 am
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Is the practice i described above a 'fast' track to T/R ?
#Post#: 23760--------------------------------------------------
Re: First step Last step
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: September 6, 2016, 11:30 am
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A fast track to where you are... a fast track to who/what you
are... to you???
Sounds pretty weird to me. Aren't you already who you are and
where you are?
Look and see.
Love ya, Jed.
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