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       #Post#: 3102--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: Jed McKenna Date: October 21, 2014, 5:51 am
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       Don't expect anything approaching soon. Be here now as good old
       Ram Dass said.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 7605--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: KevYo Date: January 1, 2015, 1:12 pm
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       Hey Jed,
       I’ve been in a relationship with someone since September. She’s
       been a great guru in my “awakening” journey or whatever the f*ck
       you wanna call this. I find that relationships can shine light
       on areas where I still believe in a “self.” She loves me (at
       least that’s what she tells me). I tell her I love her. But I
       can step back and see it all as meanings and bundles meanings
       and thoughts attached to sensations + perceivings. I don't
       really believe in any of it. I can't anymore. Of course, I don’t
       tell her this. I play my role. I've come to see that maintaining
       relationships is nothing more than customer service. Give them
       what they want, because hey, who the f*ck cares. But I still
       have a lot of work to do. So here is me working through some
       stuff. Any feedback is welcomed.
       Everything is you. There is nothing else. Make no mistake about
       it. It’s ALL you. So what are you afraid of? I am afraid that if
       I break up with Vanessa, I won’t be able to bring another person
       to Greece with me again. If I bring someone new to Greece with
       me, my relatives will think I don’t care about them. They would
       feel forced to take care of a stranger they don’t care about. My
       relatives will feel shitty about pretending to like someone who
       they don’t care for. I will be burdening my family.
       I am a burden to other people.
       I am a burden. Where is the person who is a burden to other
       people? What is a “burden”? Where are all the people? Look for
       them. Where is personhood in your experience? Do you experience
       it? It’s all just this. In front of me. There is no burden, no
       other people, no me. Further. Don’t let up. Use relationships
       and illusions as your teachers. Rest in all of this. Welcome
       all.
       #Post#: 7640--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: Jed McKenna Date: January 2, 2015, 11:39 am
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       You are the imagining the burdens. You will slowly die under
       their weight. Just look at old folks. Their garbage is not much
       different than yours. Cling to your imaginings. It doesn't sound
       all that clever... how do you know how your family will treat
       someone else... and more importantly, do you really give a damn,
       I mean, are you still worried about what your family thinks of
       you. Geez.... who is living you life, really WHO IS LIVING YOUR
       LIFE. And don't give me any b.s. about it being the 'Greek' way.
       Surely you aren't living in that kind of a mind set.
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 7650--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: KevYo Date: January 2, 2015, 1:27 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Here are some thoughts that took me on a ride just now.
       Vanessa does nothing for me and I do everything for her. She is
       soft and weak. She is spoiled. She is a unappreciative of the
       things I do for her. Blah blah blah. There is no "me" doing
       something for "her." It's all just stories.
       I get it now, Jed. I don't get to point outwards. All outwards
       pointing is distraction from ME, the source the "out there."
       It's all me. Where is all of it? In me. And there is no "me."
       There is just IS.
       IS will constantly arise. There is no DONE DONE.
       What am I pursuing then? It's pointless really. this journey is
       kind of silly. I feel kind of silly. Why do this? Further.
       P.S. I don't think I need it but I'm interested in the Nav
       Series.
       #Post#: 7659--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: Jed McKenna Date: January 3, 2015, 12:34 am
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       Good, you don't need anything... but maybe you need to look at
       everything.
       Love ya, Jed.
       P.S. Nah, I take that back. Nothing is required and all is
       given.
       #Post#: 8253--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: KevYo Date: January 15, 2015, 1:35 am
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       My "life" is feeling more and more like a dream lately. Nothing
       unusual or extraordinary happened but I can just experience the
       make-believeness of it all. Everyone is merely a character in
       the dream. All relationships are arbitary, especially those who
       say they are my "family". Nothing is serious. Nothing can be
       important. But everyone in the dream believes everything is so
       serious and so incredibly important. And that's okay. Oh, silly
       dream characters. Where am I in this dream? Can't seem to find
       it... There seem to only be the dream. Everything is the dream,
       there is no me in the dream, only the dream itself.
       #Post#: 8254--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: Jed McKenna Date: January 15, 2015, 2:01 am
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       Got it... next... ::)
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 9269--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: KevYo Date: February 10, 2015, 12:22 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Hi Jed,
       I've been having desires arising of wanting to have sex with
       beautiful women. I know you'll say "I can't want because I can't
       have." Is it sex I want? I don't think so. What is it then?
       Connection? Feel loved? Feel like I matter? I think more resting
       in the perceiving is called for. All those things presuppose a
       "ME" and "Girls" "Out There." Where are those things? Do they
       exist inherently? They're all within my awareness. It's all me.
       And there is no me. There are no girls. What's left? This.
       Arising.
       I may have taken the foot off the gas pedal in the inquiry of
       me-ness. I thought I was in a pretty good place where I can tap
       into that which cannot be simpler really easily. I took time off
       to smell the flowers and gotten lost playing out my person-hood.
       I've been in a relationship and I've been wearing my costumes
       too tightly. Time to dive deeper again. Do I break up with her?
       I am going to visit her in Sweden next week. I feel like this
       will be the end of our relationship. KayF, don't anticipate and
       look forward to anything... I don't want to end the relationship
       because I don't want "me" to do anything. Trying to keep ME and
       ego out of attempting to affect change or do anything when it
       comes to relationships. I just want to sit and observe what
       transpires.
       #Post#: 9270--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: Jed McKenna Date: February 10, 2015, 12:31 am
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       Dear Kay:
       Sit and observe what happens... have you ever done anything
       else, really?
       Love ya, Jed.
       #Post#: 9521--------------------------------------------------
       Re: KayF
       By: KevYo Date: February 17, 2015, 10:55 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My relationship has dissolved. My visit to her country is not
       over so I am still in Europe. We're through but we're on good
       terms. She's sleeping next to me right now. I feel unloved and
       rejected. I seek closeness, affection and intimacy and thoughts
       and feelings of hurt arise when I don't get it. I'm disappointed
       that we probably won't have sex. I don't have any resentment.
       It's all a lesson helping me move past my limitations. I welcome
       all of it.
       Okay, let's work. There is no one here to be unloved and
       rejected. There is no rejection or love. When I reach out to hug
       her or cuddle her in bed, her lack of reciprocation is just
       that. Nothing more.
       Now why would I want to cuddle and hug her? Because I want
       affection and closeness. There is no affection and I can't get
       closeness because everything is already close. Now, the feeling
       of hurt. Is there someone here who can be hurt? No. So what's
       that feeling? I don't know.
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