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       #Post#: 1036--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ewing Family - Scott (34) and Sons: John (11) and Paul (9)
       By: Jack Date: October 22, 2017, 9:12 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       It's been a while since I mentioned the Ewings, so I thought it
       was about time for an update.
       The boys have been over here a fair amount.  Scott picks them up
       after work some days, but they often come over here...
       Quick digression: I think I mentioned that Scott owns his own
       business.  He does appliance repair and sales used materials.
       He actually sounds like he enjoys it a lot, and he has a lot of
       good reviews on his site, on yelp, and Mr. Mintz knows of him.
       While some of my appliances are still in warranty, many aren't,
       so I'm sure I'll give him a call the next time I need something
       like that.  The thing is, while he owns his own business, he
       often has appointments, so it's not always possible for him to
       be off when school gets out.  Since my kids also go to BCA, it's
       very easy for them to come here, and let him pick them up after
       that.  While he has no problem leaving them home for a bit, he
       feels an unknown amount of time might be pushing it.  I mean, I
       was staying by myself when I was John's age, but it usually was
       by myself, not with a younger sibling, and I wasn't ADHD, so I
       can understand his feelings, and they are good kids (kind of
       bridging the gap between the littles and the tweens, so I like
       having them around).
       They both seem to be enjoying BCA and settling in well. I know
       they've both made friends at school, and they've met some kids
       around their neighborhood as well.
       However, that's not why I picked today to do the update.
       The three of them were supposed to come over yesterday evening,
       but Scott called to tell me they were going to be late.
       "Oh?" I replied.
       "Yeah, they have some chores to finish... as soon as they
       collect themselves."
       Yeah, that meant what you thought it meant.
       I didn't get details of the spanking, but he had already said
       that he was going to hold off on when he started, but when he
       did, it was going to be the way he'd got it (bare, over the
       knee, with the paddle).  In this case, he's been trying to let
       the boys settle back into the rules.  Today, he let them stay
       home while he ran a couple of errands.  They texted him that
       they were going to go riding around for a bit.  He asked if
       they'd finished their chores, and told them to be back in an
       hour.
       They said they had and they would.
       They hadn't and the weren't.
       He didn't think either of those was a big deal, but they'd
       already been reminded about both of those, and it was two
       violations at once.
       I didn't try to talk to the kids about their spanking, since
       they were hanging out, and then we had book discussion, but they
       certainly didn't seem to be sulking or pouting, and they
       certainly participated, so I guess they survived it.
       #Post#: 1040--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ewing Family - Scott (34) and Sons: John (11) and Paul (9)
       By: kalico Date: October 22, 2017, 11:32 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Aw boys......
       Happy they seem to be settling in and doing good with school and
       everything...
       Thanks for the update jack
       Hugs kal
       #Post#: 3550--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ewing Family - Scott (34) and Sons: John (12) and Paul (9)
       By: Jack Date: February 7, 2018, 4:21 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       As things spread out, it gets harder and harder for me to do
       regular updates.
       I have a reason for updating the Ewings today, but let me start
       with a few general things.  (I started this Tuesday afternoon,
       but was unable to finish - all references are as if I was
       writing  Tuesday, even though it posts Wed, so 'yesterday'
       refers to Monday.)
       John and Paul are both in Scouts - Boy Scouts for John and
       Webelos for Paul.  Paul is doing really well, and working on his
       Arrow of Light. He might be able to achieve it by April, when a
       number of my other Webelos will be getting theirs, and he's
       considering if he wants to stay in Cubs a bit longer, or start
       Boy Scouts with those other boys.
       Both boys are over here at different times - their Dad and his
       sister have no trouble dropping them off and picking them up,
       though they sometimes come home with my boys.  John is a sixth
       grader - a year behind Kenny - but he gets along with Kenny and
       Jake okay, and he's friends with some of the other boys who hang
       around here, like Billy Worley (who's his class mate), Eli
       Marchant (who goes to public school but is in the same grade),
       and Kline and Brandon Malone (who both attend BCA, though
       they're a year behind him).
       As I've mentioned before, Paul is into Pokemon and YuGiOh.
       Curtis and Connor and several of the other littles are into at
       least Pokemon, and they often play together.  Paul has some
       dyslexia, and he does read a bit slow and sometimes misread.  He
       has been teased a bit about it, but I've assured him that no one
       is perfect and people teasing him says more about them that it
       does about him.  I've also informed the other boys that the next
       time I find out about them teasing someone over something like
       that, butts will roast.
       As to why I decided to post this today....  I went into the
       office to check my mail box, and I found Scott coming out of the
       office with John, another parent, and a classmate of John's
       named Hayden Tyler.  Hayden's a bit taller than John, blond with
       fair skin, and he's pretty cute.  Both boys were flushed in the
       face and obviously had been crying (looked like they almost
       still were).  They were also walking pretty carefully.
       Scott saw me, motioned for me to wait, spoke to Mr. P and the
       other father, and then came over.  John followed, but he told
       John to go clean up and get to class.  He did give him a quick
       hug before John left - usually a no no at school, but John
       seemed to need the contact.  John and I said hello, and he took
       off.
       Scott wanted to know if we could have lunch together, and I
       agreed.  We sat a time and place, and he split.
       Well, I looked up John's record before I left, which helped fill
       in some details Scott didn't share.
       To be fair, Scott wanted to discuss a number of things.  He
       doesn't have time to volunteer regularly, but he likes to  help
       with Scouts when one-off opportunities arise.  However, he
       mostly wanted to talk about that morning, because he was upset,
       and he wanted some feedback and to bounce some thoughts off
       someone.
       John and Hayden are in sixth grade choir.  Mr. P and the Music
       Coordinator were in Dallas yesterday afternoon.  Choir had a
       substitute.  Sixth grade choir is in the afternoon.
       Apparently the sixth grade choir was terrorizing the sub.  She
       finally left the room and went to the office.  There are three
       principals.  I'm not sure how their non-discipline duties are
       divided, but disciplinewise, there is an elementary, a women's
       secondary, and Mr. P - the men's secondary.  Because the other
       two are both women, Mr. P often handles the older elementary
       boys as well.
       The women's secondary principal and the councilor went to the
       music room.  They stood outside the door and watched a few
       minutes, then the sub went in.  After another minute, the other
       two went in.  The students were divided by gender and searched.
       One of the worst things they'd been doing was shooting rubber
       bands at the sub.  Two boys were found with rubber bands: I'll
       bet you can guess who.
       Aside: The entire class spent the rest of the period sitting
       absolutely still and quiet.  I'm not sure you could call it a
       punishment, but it probably did make it clear that what had
       happened was unacceptable, and it does sound like pretty much
       the entire class had been acting up - even if it was just
       talking out of turn.
       Hayden and John spent the rest of the day in ISS (In-School
       Suspension).  The Music Coordinator and Mr. P were notified of
       what had happened.  The parents of each boy were contacted, and
       a meeting was arranged for first thing this (Tuesday) morning.
       No one was happy.  Hayden was apparently spanked when his dad
       got home.  John spent the rest of the day in his room without
       games or phone, only coming out for dinner.
       The two boys are going to be on probation for choir for the rest
       of the year.  That's largely symbolic, since sixth grade choir
       only performs at school events, and doesn't travel or do
       competitions.  The one exception to that is a fun event they do
       at the end of the year, which Hayden and John will possibly
       miss.  I think there's a chance they might be able to earn the
       trip back, but MC was very unhappy and didn't want to make any
       decisions yet.  There is a potential, while they're on
       probation, that, if they get into more trouble, they could be
       removed from the music program in the future - extra-curriculars
       are a privilege, not a right, and they must be earned and
       continue to be earned.
       According to Scott, the lecture Mr. P gave was so harsh. I can
       understand why, since this was not only a violation of basic
       rules of order, but it was practically assault.  Scott says the
       two boys were in tears by the time sentence was announced.  The
       two boys had to bare themselves, then go over the desk, side by
       side.  Their fathers stood close by to help them stay in place
       (which Scott tells me was needed).  Mr. P went back and forth,
       so the boys were being paddled at the same time.  They each
       received twelve swats, and both boys were bawling and howling
       before it finished.  Scott says it didn't look like it was going
       to mark, but it was a deeper red than after he spanks the boy at
       home.
       I arrived a couple of moments after that, and saw the condition
       the boys had been left in.   They were allowed to go back to
       class at that point.
       At lunch, Scott asked me about further punishment.  Hayden had
       been spanked, and he wasn't sure if he didn't feel like spanking
       John again himself.
       I recommended against it.  While Scott didn't break down either
       lecture in much detail, Scott had already talked to John, before
       Mr. P had.  It sounds like John had felt pretty miserable about
       himself, and that harsh paddling might have been a blessing to
       him in some way.  Kids sometimes do stupid, thoughtless mean
       things, then feel horrible when they realize it.  Scott decided
       they'd talk about it again, but talk, not lecture.  I did
       suggest that he talk about how John felt at different points of
       his ordeal, and link them back to how the sub felt - a little
       applied empathy.
       ( I did have some other, general things I'd meant to say about
       this family, but I think I'm going to conclude this for now,and
       we can deal with generals later).
       #Post#: 3555--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ewing Family - Scott (34) and Sons: John (12) and Paul (9)
       By: Zyngaru Date: February 7, 2018, 10:27 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I have been asked to Sub many times over my life, but that is
       why I never Subbed at school.  Subs didn't get any respect when
       I was in school and they still don't.  Basically they are
       babysitters.
       But it does sound like Hayden and John won't be doing that
       again.  I suspect in the future, if the rest of the class
       terrorizes a Sub, that John and Hayden will sit quietly and not
       join in.
       #Post#: 4790--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ewing Family - Scott (34) and Sons: John (12) and Paul (9)
       By: Jack Date: March 30, 2018, 4:22 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       The boys came over yesterday, and Scott asked to talk to my
       privately when he picked them up.  The boys came with him.
       When we were in my office, the boys were required to apologize
       to me, and let me know that they'd been spanked when they got
       home Monday.  Scott had left work early Monday and came over for
       part of the Scout meeting.  John had backtalked Chandler when
       they were in Troop activities, and afterwards, when I'd reminded
       them what to do on cleaning up during, after snacks, John had
       just ignored me, and not cleaned up after himself.  I certainly
       wouldn't have considered that spanking worthy, but apparently
       he's been having similar behavior at home, and had already been
       warned his pants were loose and ready to come down.  As for
       Paul, he'd sneaked into Liam and Zeke's room to look at the
       hamsters, and he knows he's not supposed to go into other
       people's rooms without permission.  Once again, that's not good
       behavior, but I'm not sure it rises to spanking level.
       After the boys left, I mentioned that to Scott, but he told me
       that he expects the boys to be on better behavior when they're
       at someone else's house, and especially when they're here, since
       I 'go out of my way to do so much for them'.  He also told me
       that Paul has done this before and been warned not to (Paul
       wants his own hamsters, but Scott has told him to wait until
       summer, so he'll be home with them more.  (Plus, he's not sure
       where to put them, and thinks they'll have to squeeze a table
       into Paul's room).  He might not have spanked John, except John
       tattled on Paul in the first place.
       I could accept that, but I wanted to tell him, if he really
       wanted to appreciate me, he could at least let me watch next
       time.
       #Post#: 4794--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ewing Family - Scott (34) and Sons: John (12) and Paul (10)
       By: db105 Date: March 30, 2018, 7:33 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Jack link=topic=80.msg4790#msg4790
       date=1522401758]
       I could accept that, but I wanted to tell him, if he really
       wanted to appreciate me, he could at least let me watch next
       time.
       [/quote]
       ;D Absolutely! As the offended party you should have been
       allowed to watch.
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