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       #Post#: 6426--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: Jack Date: June 15, 2018, 4:38 am
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       Andy called me yesterday evening.  They're going to be back in
       town Saturday morning -- this time the entire family, including
       their mom.
       I don't know all about their financial background, of course,
       and it's been a long time since I've had to worry about this,
       but Andy said they had prequalified for a loan when they decided
       on him looking for a job in this area, and they have now
       preauthorized it.  No, I have no idea what the differences in
       the two terms are, but it means they can make a concrete offer
       this weekend.
       Dash is going to stay here with us.  Andy is now ticked off
       (because he doesn't get to go see Incredibles 2 with us).  He
       doesn't know about the older boys yet.  Carter will probably
       stay with us, since we have plenty of kids his age (Andy thinks
       Carter will get along great with Zeke and probably with Liam).
       Rusty sounds like he's pretty shy, but Andy will leave it up to
       me and him as to whether he stays or goes.  Andy says there are
       tricks to making sure he understands you, but mostly he's easy
       to deal with.
       They are bringing two cars.  Andy's mom is either going to go
       back home that evening, or get a hotel room and drive back the
       next morning.  I explained to Andy that, while we'd love to have
       them, we were having a family night Saturday, since most of the
       boys are leaving for camp the next morning.  He says that's okay
       - they were going to go visit their dad Sunday and stay with him
       Sunday night.  I guess Dad's place will be a bit cramped with
       all four of them staying their, but he already called his dad,
       and they agree they'll all survive a night or two.  After that,
       he's going to spend a couple of days with the kids at 6 Flags
       and Hurricane Harbor.  Since there's no telling what the rest of
       the summer will bring, he wants to take advantage of this bit of
       calm.
       [hr]
       I guess this is a good time to report on the rest of last
       Tuesday night.
       I don't make my kids adhere to a certain schedule during the
       summer, beyond the normal curfews and chore deadlines.  Because
       we do get up and going early in the morning, and most of my boys
       participate in that most of the time, they usually don't stay up
       late.  I do make a point of still trying to read to them and say
       good night to them, though I do miss occasionally.
       Around 10pm, I went to Devon's room to see if Andy or Dash
       needed anything. They invited me in, but it was pretty obvious
       that they'd been arguing.
       "Please don't tell him," Dash said.
       "I don't know the stores around here, Dashiell," Andy replied,
       obviously exasperated with his little brother.  Then he turned
       to me.  "Jack, I need to run to  store. I forgot to pack a Good
       Nite for Dash."
       "Why'd you tell him, you @$$hole?" Dash demanded.
       Andy gave his little brother a dirty look, but turned back to
       me.
       Instead of answering  Andy, I turned to Dash.
       "You look like you're right on the edge of needing large, but
       I'll bet you could fit a pair of Connor's.  How about I go get
       you one?"
       His eyes lit up big when I said that.
       "Connor wears Good Nites?"
       I nodded.
       "I adopted him and his brothers, but Liam says he and Devon did
       when they were younger.  It runs in some families - me and my
       brothers had troubles with it, and so did Barry and Noah when
       they were younger."
       I can imagine that, with a boy as hyper as Dash was, he probably
       collapsed and slept like the dead until his batteries were
       re-charged, so it would be easy for him to have a problem with
       bedwetting without it being genetic, but it didn't hurt for him
       to know he was hardly the only boy with the problem, and he did
       seem to relax as he listened to me.
       "Dash, Mr. Wells asked you a question."
       Dash jumped a bit, but then he nodded his head.
       "Yes, please."
       I left to go get one.
       Dash had been wearing briefs when he put on his swim trunks, and
       we had a pack of plain Good Nite briefs.  Since Connor prefers
       the Marvel ones, I grabbed a pair of plain light blue ones for
       him.  Then I thought about how long and busy Dash's day had
       been, and about how many drinks I'd seen him put away, and I
       went back and got a mattress pad as well.
       I knew they were expecting me, so I just tapped and walked in,
       but I wondered if I should have waited.
       Dash was naked from the waist down, holding his t-shirt up in
       both hands, and wringing the shirt.  Andy was holding the Heat
       for the Seat novelty paddle that hangs in that bedroom (which I
       hadn't really thought about before, since I don't really use
       those, and I don't remember hanging it), and it was obvious that
       Andy was getting lectured.
       "Sorry, I'll come back..." I started to say, but Dash cut me
       off.
       "Uncle Jack!  Tell him I'm sorry.  I didn't mean it.  Please
       don't let him spank me!"
       I stopped and looked at Andy, who looked at me and kind of
       shrugged.  I made a 'may I' gesture with my hands, and he
       thought a second, then waved a 'go ahead'.
       "Dash, I don't even know why you're in trouble..."
       "He's mad at me because I called him a as... an ahole."
       "That's.. .not exactly right," Andy corrected him.  "In the
       first place, I'm not mad.  In the second place, I don't mind him
       cussing a little bit, though I've tried to explain to him why he
       has to be careful about when he does it.  No, the reason he's in
       trouble is that he has to learn he can't go around yelling at
       people and calling them names.  This isn't the first time.  He
       looses his temper, gets mad at someone, and then he doesn't
       understand why people don't want to talk to him.  We've talked
       about it, and he knew he was going to get spanked the next time
       I heard it."
       "PLEASE, Andy!  I said I'm sorry."
       I looked at Andy again, then summoned the boy over to me.  He
       was hesitant, but he came.  I took the t-shirt out of his hands
       and smoothed it down.  It didn't quite cover all of his little
       rear, but he was less bare that way.  Then I pulled him up next
       to me and put my arm across his back, so our heads were next to
       each other after I knelt down.
       "First of all, Andy's your big brother, and he's in charge.  It
       might be my house, but it would be wrong for me to tell him how
       to treat you, especially since I don't know how many times you
       guys have talked about this, or how often you've been in trouble
       for it."
       He moaned lightly.
       "The other thing is, I agree with him, and I'd probably spank
       one of my boys for doing this."
       He sniffed and looked at me.
       I gave him one of my lectures on sorry being good, but not
       enough, and how their are consequences to ones actions.  I then
       pointed out that, if it helped him remember not to yell and cuss
       at people, it would be worth a sore bottom now, no matter how
       scary it was.
       "But I don't wanna spanking," he finally said.
       "I know you don't, but has Andy warned you he'd spank you the
       next time this happened?"
       You could see his reluctance as he nodded his head.
       "Then, whether you want it or not, you earned it, didn't you?"
       He sobbed again, but nodded.
       "Dash," Andy said, making me jump a little after he'd been so
       quiet while Dash and I talked.
       "Yes, sir?"
       "Do you need a spanking right now, or do  you think a QT would
       be enough to help you remember?"
       "It will, Andy.  I promise."
       "If I let you off with just a QT, you have to promise me that
       next time this happens - no argument, no begging - you're
       getting spanked."
       He didn't like that, and didn't try to hide the fact, but he
       agreed.
       "All right," Andy said, glancing around, then pointed towards a
       corner which I keep bare for exactly that purpose.
       "Half time?" Dash asked with a bit of his normal sassiness.
       "Good try.  No.  And put your Good Nite on first."
       I picked the brief up and handed it to Dash, then watched as he
       pulled it on.
       "Thank you, Uncle Jack," he said as he pulled the brief into
       place, then headed towards the corner.
       I glanced at Dash a couple of times as Andy helped me put the
       pad down on the bed.  The second time, Andy said, "I don't
       expect him to hold still during his corner time.  Getting him to
       be quiet that long's hard enough."
       #Post#: 6427--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: Zyngaru Date: June 15, 2018, 7:57 am
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       I wanted a "cute" emoji, but "heart" was the best available.
       #Post#: 6432--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: kalico Date: June 15, 2018, 1:51 pm
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       Awwwww
       Thanks for sharing jack
       Hugs kal
       #Post#: 6433--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: db105 Date: June 15, 2018, 1:59 pm
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       Aww, looks like your timely arrival saved the little guy a
       spanking.
       #Post#: 6434--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: David M. Katz Date: June 15, 2018, 3:02 pm
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       Thanks for the share.  Did Dash remain unspanked?
       #Post#: 6439--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: Jack Date: June 15, 2018, 4:28 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=db105 link=topic=628.msg6433#msg6433
       date=1529089145]
       Aww, looks like your timely arrival saved the little guy a
       spanking.
       [/quote]
       [quote author=David M. Katz link=topic=628.msg6434#msg6434
       date=1529092953]
       Thanks for the share.  Did Dash remain unspanked?
       [/quote]
       If I don't have my dates mixed up, they arrived Monday morning
       and left Tuesday evening.  I'm 99% positive Dash went unspanked
       while they were here.
       Daniel, I kind of assumed what you did, but Andy did tell me
       later (in a conversation I've not gotten around to yet) that he
       hadn't planned to actually spank Dash, but he did want to make
       an impression on the boy about learning to hold his temper.
       #Post#: 6460--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: Jack Date: June 17, 2018, 4:45 am
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       I met the rest of Andy's family yesterday.
       His mom is about my age, and his dad is a couple of years older
       (almost exactly my age).  When you consider how Andy sees his
       father, that might explain why he has trouble calling me
       anything but Mr. Wells (a respect issue).
       Carter has obviously had a bit of trouble with acne, but he's a
       fairly good looking kid, about my height, and with a good build.
       He loves soccer and baseball, and he's obviously very active
       and athletic, with the firm, lean build you'd expect from those
       sports.  If you're looking for it, you can tell he still has
       some troubles with ADHD (very twitchy and acts almost a bit
       nervous, though that might have been from being in a new
       situation).  He has trouble not fidgeting, even when he's
       watching a movie.
       Rusty - Nice looking boy, a bit darker skinned than his brothers
       - maybe Creole or a Hispanic?  As I've said before, he's level 1
       austistic (mild, but with definite problems).  He's very smart
       and articulate, but Andy says he has trouble with people
       (communication skills and reading faces and body language).  He
       came across to me as very shy for about half the day.  After the
       movie, you could hardly get a word in edgewise with him.
       Fortunately, he shares a lot of interest with me, which most of
       my boys do as well.
       Andy told me that there's a key to communicating, which is I
       need to touch his wrist and hold it, then make sure we have eye
       contact. As long as I've done that, he'll remember any
       instructions I give him, and almost certainly follow them.
       However, I have to make him repeat them back to me to be
       positive (which is a good tactic with almost any kid in many
       situations).
       Dash did get spanked on Thursday.  He'd thrown a tempter tantrum
       at Carter over something and Andy heard him cussing his big
       brother. Andy took him to his room, and when Dash started to
       complain, he said, "When we were at Mr. Wells house, I let you
       do corner time, but you  made me a promise.  Do you remember
       what it was?"  Dash just sighed, got his paddle, and bared his
       bottom, so apparently he's a boy of his word.
       All three boys went with us to see I2, while Andy and his mom
       went to look at houses.
       In my original post about them house hunting, I mentioned Andy
       looked at a house that was great, but one bedroom didn't have a
       closet.  The realtor had another house that a variation on that
       floor plan (that bedroom was meant to be a study in the first
       house, but a bedroom in the second one).   After getting an
       actual per-authorization with an exact amount, and deciding what
       they could put down as a deposit, that house was within their
       price range.  It's not particularly close to here or BCA, but
       it's exactly what they're looking for, and they are a three car
       family, so it should suit their needs well.  After the movie,
       they took the boys to see it, and made an offer for it then.
       #Post#: 6465--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: db105 Date: June 17, 2018, 8:59 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       It seems Dad's reprieve did not last much. ::) Oh, well...
       How come there are so many boys with ADHD in the same family? Is
       it coincidence or is there a genetic factor?
       #Post#: 6474--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: Jack Date: June 17, 2018, 3:47 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       DB, im on my phone right now, so longer answer will come later.
       They dont know the cause of ADHD but they know there are at
       least genetic components.
       #Post#: 6632--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Andy Jackson
       By: Jack Date: June 24, 2018, 12:19 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Jack link=topic=628.msg6474#msg6474
       date=1529268440]
       DB, im on my phone right now, so longer answer will come later.
       They dont know the cause of ADHD but they know there are at
       least genetic components.
       [/quote]
       Looking back, I think I'm just going to stick with this.  It
       answers the question.  If someone is interested in more details,
       there are a ton of articles available online - just google
       'genetic adhd'.
       [hr]
       I actually came to say that I have heard from Andy's family.
       First of all, their offer was accepted on the home.  I have
       recommended a couple of people to do the inspections and act as
       their lawyer.  They are hoping to be able to close within a
       couple of weeks, since they already have the loan
       pre-authorized, and it just so happens that the current owners
       have it mortgaged through the same bank, which probably helps
       with some of the due diligence issues.
       For those interested, I just looked their house up on a map.
       They're going to be about 5 miles from us (maybe as few as four,
       but the four mile way would be slower for anyone not
       walking/riding a bike).  That's probably too far for Dash most
       of the time.  On the other hand, it won't be hard for him to get
       a ride here, since two of his three big brothers drive.  More
       important, while it's about 3 miles to BCA, they will be living
       around the corner from Post Elementary, which has a huge, open
       field, and even some playground equipment, so he'll probably
       have a good chance of meeting some friends there as well.
       The other, maybe even better news is that, not only has their
       mom already received a job offer, but she's been asked to
       interview for a job at the hospital that would actually be a
       pretty major step up for her.  Her interview is Tuesday, and
       there's a chance Dash may be coming up with her.
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